Category: Non Fiction

3 P’s to Practice

Two weeks into my last academic year in college, I realised I hadn’t learned something important – to put forth what I feel in my class, without the fear of being judged. I still didn’t have the guts to say what I felt, I wrote down things in my book but my lips didn’t manage to say it.

However, on the first day of the third week a miracle happened, I went for a walk on the beach alone, analysed whatever was happening and penned down how one can get over this and speak in class without fear. These are the 3P’s that I keep rewinding in my head when such a fear hits my head.

Process

One important thing which helped the fear to rule my mind was the loss of confidence I had in the opinion I had to put forth. In order to feel more confident about what needs to be said, it needs to churn well in my head. I read up and justified and convinced myself before saying it.

Proceed

It is an art to learn how to say it. I have heard this a million times, ‘Your point was right but the way you said was wrong’. This is something I am still working on, how to say what I feel in the most polite way possible. However, it is almost a month I have got over this fear to speak in class and have been doing well so far.

Peace

After saying what needs to be said it is essential to make peace with it. You can be wrong or right, once said, discussed and done the thought should be off the head. Keep mulling over the thought is not going to help in anyway irrespective of the point being right or wrong.

These 3P’s helped me overcome fear of speaking in class, but it also made me speak in other public gatherings with confidence.

Food Feelings

The one thing I dislike is ‘food’, eating and the entire cycle of it. It has been made for a reason and I respect it. This is my confession, apologies to people who love food, kindly not be offended, but there is not a thing I like about food.

It was difficult to come in terms with this, accept this feeling as ‘normal’ because of the reactions I would receive. ‘This is the reason you are thin, all fat people should start hating food, problem solved’ or for worse would not react but just laugh it off.But my point of confessing this dislike for food doesn’t end here. It was ‘hate’ earlier especially sweets but I have come down to ‘dislike’, so there is improvement.

I came up with a broader solutions to this, for who ever feels or felt like me anytime in life or knows someone who feels this way. One is to explore food as anything else, history of it etc. Try to engage with it as an entity, research on that one taste you relish in my case spicy. Going deeper into this is to finding videos of making of these foods and trying it out.

The other thing that works best is surrounding yourself with food lovers. Trust me, this is the easiest task ever. Once you are around them, it helps to kind of create even for the slightest second, love for food, it helps to eat more.

 

 

Raghu Ram’s Journey Reviewed

Book Name: Raghu: Rearview My Roadies Journey

Author: Raghu Ram

Publication: Rupa Publications

Pages: 290

Price: Rs. 195/-

The book Raghu: Rearview My Roadies Journey holds interest to people who have watched Raghu Ram on television. But has a message to all youngsters and adults alike. This autobiography takes you through the journey of Roadies from Raghu’s eyes and in the process unveils the real Raghu Ram to you. Each chapter effortlessly pictures an episode of his life and the book feels like a complete series of such episodes.

The first chapter helps even a non Roadie fan to understand the context of who Raghu is and makes one curious about his life. The way he is perceived is put forth clearly and is a perfect hook to continue reading.

The shift of point of view is swift in the second chapter where the mother is trying to understand and accept that she is going to have twins. How the family and surrounding react to it and help her in their own ways is a must read. The mind of a pregnant woman is captured perfectly in this chapter.

In the third chapter itself readers get a bite of a childhood reality of Raghu’s life. Childhood experience shapes the personality of people and this chapter makes you believe that. However there is a twist at the end of the chapter, making one curious to read the next page.

Many people wish to go back to their childhood wish to relive some moments but however Raghu says he would rather jump off a cliff, the reason to this is properly portrayed in the fourth & last chapter of his childhood. Each chapter’s end and the name of the next chapter are proper hooks to continue reading the next page.

The glimpse into the life of a Delhi teen is seen the fifth chapter. It is about drinks, guitar & obsession with MTV. It explains how Raghu developed his musical side which he never let go of.

There is always a reason to everything we strongly believe in. And why Raghu Ram feels that the education system is faulty, the sixth chapter is the reason. It is one of the horrible episodes of his life put in the simplest words relatable to every youngster.

Now the book takes you to the era when television was new, how things worked back then. With little idea of what the future held for him, Raghu did his first job at television with all his heart. Here the love for working for television grew stronger. This chapter gives very clear understanding of working of television around the 90s.

With lot of efforts, Raghu finally lands up his dream job in MTV. Small tasks to be done but does it with all his love. Till the ninth chapter the narrative explains how difficult working for television is yet Raghu loved doing it. Time lapses and Raghu realizes that he has become a workaholic which calls for change of events in the next chapter.

A major burnout occurs and Raghu no more is working. No job at all, gives up on everything and searches for something less stressful basically a job at a higher post now. With lot of struggle gets one with BBC which becomes a life changing experience and how, chapter 11 unfolds!

This chapter is probably the most cherished episode of Raghu’s life, one can make out with the way it is written. After all, love is found here and Raghu gets bald look. Both of which have interesting stories written in quite a novelist way where one can picture each happening in detail.

One step, two steps and then the next, that is how one climbs the ladder of life’s achievements. First job, few more jobs, then first job with MTV, later a total burn out, then a job with BBC & now with luck back to MTV. Finally in the 12th chapter we hear ‘Roadies’ and how it all begun. This chapter is worth a read in every way to understand how the master plan is already made and we are just pawns to Lord’s plan.

Raghu as the senior executive producer for the very first season of Roadies had a different role to play than he had in his last season of Roadies. This part is an interesting read and the making of Raghu as a person on-off screen begins here. The role of Rannvijay is still at bay but the crisp writing makes you crave for more.

From the 14th chapter onwards, the entire book has flashbacks, flash forwards and back to the present quite intelligently written. The meat of the second season of Roadies is served in this chapter; kindly take it with a pinch of salt. Also Raghu finds a younger brother here, read on to find out.

No show can be built by one person alone, a team makes it. The team that made Roadies what it became gets formed before Roadies 3. Yet, there is love-hate emotions from Raghu’s end for season 2 & 3 which is well spelled out throughout this chapter.

Can Raghu have a romantic side to him? This roller-coaster chapter which revolves around his marriage and Roadies 4 will give you the answer. Also, the shifts from flashback to present in this chapter are a bit abrupt than previous chapters but works well by the end.

The 17th chapter explains the entire working of Roadies as a show and is a must read for all those who feel Roadies is rigged. From forming of the crew, the tasks, the twists, the shoot and the edits everything has been put into words for layman to understand without making any bit of it sound boring.

You are put on a pedestal from one side & at the same time you are cursed on the other, both in equal proportion. How to ever deal such a situation, this episode that is this chapter of Raghu’s life will tell you. This part specifically is written to the point and in a crisp way. From this chapter on the writing depicts each emotion that he wishes to express, one of the qualities of a fine writer.

Have you ever worked at a stretch too much that you wished to just do nothing? Have you felt you are not giving yourself and your loved ones enough time? How does one deal with it? Read this chapter to know a few dos and donts of this situation.

After completing six seasons with a crew, losing track completely for a year and then coming back to the same job and trying to work with a new crew can be more difficult that it sounds on paper. However Roadies 8 was one of the best seasons and this chapter gives in all small to big detail of making of it. Flashbacks and flash forwards become mandatory by now in every chapter.

Everything or Nothing, what would you choose? This question was the theme and tag of the ninth season. Many small life lessons hid in the making of this season, this is also why and how autobiographies teach you things.

The first ever making of the tenth edition of a reality show unravels and all kinds of twist and turns occur in reality. Yet, the last season where Raghu is part of is aired and reaches the high he had once made it to. The question that what is Roadies and what does it mean to be a Roadie, only this last chapter can explain it to you.  Irrespective of your age, your perception of this man and his show, Raghu’s autobiography has something to take back for everyone.

Sukhman: A Happy Heart

During my recent trip to Sikkim, at a home stay in Nimachin, I met Sukhman. I feel each person we meet has a role to play in our life and Sukhman taught me few things I shall cherish forever.

I was panting when I first saw Sukhman, it was quite a climb up till the home stay. He fought with me to carry my bag, I refrained to give in. He was half my size but yet hopeful that I would ask his help, he walked besides me at my snail pace till I reached up. After I got fresh and was up for a walk with my camera he offered me few lichis stating they are healthy.

IMG_20160601_074051413A little later I was trying to capture few flowers when I took a candid photo of him. He was curious to know how did I do it, for the first time I taught camera basics to someone. With the little idea of camera, we together clicked some flower pictures. A little later just before we left he came to me and gave a blue bangle, said thank you and ran away.

He was in class 7, his parents lived somewhere near his school. Working here at the home stay helped him go to school though he missed his school the day we reached as we were a big number to manage.He had a girlfriend and all his future plans of a home, Scorpio were with her. Yet he was secretive about his real name, his family and his pay.

At that small age he managed to hide his struggle and make me smile with his little jokes, lichis and bangle. I would never come to know about his real story had he not opened up to one of my friends at the camp.

Every time I look at the bangle he gave me I ask my self when was the last time I stood besides someone for help? When was the last time I tried to not whine and tried to make someone else smile?

My idea of life

Imagine you have failed your final year exam, there is no chance of a re-exam. Imagine you are wasting a year & money is already spent for further course admission. You have never failed before and this one time you did, you doomed your parent’s money big time. What would you do?

A. Cry, feel useless & later try to die.

B. Cry, feel useless yet later try to use the year in hand productively.

It is good if you chose option B but in any tiny part of your brain you considered option A then well sadly your idea of life is wrong.

 A college professor while explaining how to add conflicts in a script said ‘Tell me any great story which doesn’t have a struggle, there will be none. Stories of men become great because of the struggles and complications they face & ways in which they deal them.’

Exam failure is just an example life can throw many different googlies at you and one has to learn to deal with it. Escaping is never the solution, coping with difficulties and coming out stronger is part of living life.

A major chunk of suicide cases apart from farmers is of youngsters according to many online stats 2015.These young people apparently killed themselves because they were unable to cope with exam failures, pregnancy etc.

Such stats scare me; did no one tell them that life is not supposed to be a cake walk? Please, cry your problems out, speak up to someone and find a solution & remember always, you have no right to take your own life when you have no hand in getting it. If you have a will to solve and issue you will find a way, and taking your life is never the way out.

When you reach the point to kill yourself nothing makes sense, but one has to give the situation sometime, try to understand things better. Everyone has a different way of dealing difficult situations, reading a book, travelling, crying it out, talking to people etc,  I would suggest read & try this, may be life will look better to you!

Ideal Lunch @ Olympia Coffee House

I sat on the chair near the window on first floor of the Olympia Restaurant opposite to Leopold Café at Colaba. I was there to grab a lunch with my college friends. This was another time we did not want to have our canteen food and dashed into a restaurant nearby.

As we entered, the man near the counter greeted us in Urdu. His beard black &thick which almost reached his chest scared me but his smile made for it. I smiled back at him as my friends greeted him back in the same language.

It was a Saturday afternoon. The place was almost full. My friends informed me that on Fridays this place is closed so crowd seemed a little more. Foreigners, middle aged people, another teen group like us were around. A typical crowd one shall find in South Bombay Restaurant.

The feel of the place is very authentic. The waiters, the man at the counter are all in the traditional Muslim clothes-long collar kurtas and loose pants. The walls are painted in olive green and reflect to the hanging lights. The stones near the window pane shine like pearls. The glasses and jug on the table give Olympia a classy edge. This place is also called ‘mughlai’ rightly so as it gives the ‘mughal’ era feel.

The food options here include all varieties of Chicken and Mutton one may think of. Beef, fish curry and crabs are also available. Vegan may get Biryani and Vegetarian Rice Plate, dry vegetables, chapattis and curries. The best part of Olympia is its pocket friendly prices. The Mutton and Chicken Biryani costs only Rs.120 a plate and half the price for half plate. All other dishes are also reasonable.

I could smell by now the chicken come by. Chicken Biryani, Mutton Biryani and Butter Chicken where the three orders we placed. The food came in within 10mintues of the order. I was shocked. I never got a chicken order so soon. The food looked tasty. The big chicken piece with a little lemon over it tasted heavenly! We all ate to our hearts content.

We did not have place for dessert but had to taste the well known ‘sheer-kurma’ the only dessert available here. Sweet taste of milk topped with dry-fruits tasted yum. Indeed Olympia is an ideal lunch any day for all.

Bird Wise – Indian Golden Oriole

Golden Oriole 1.1

Indian Golden Oriole

Scientific name – Oriolus Kundoo

Listen to the calls of Indian Golden Orioles here!

Conservation status – Least concern

The male Golden Oriole is a bright yellow colour bird,  jet black plumage, and fully black wings. The picture above is of a juvenile male bird, can be known as the black patch around the eyes is missing which is found in an adult male bird.

As with many other birds, the female of the species is more dull-looking slightly greener in colour. Golden Orioles tend to be between 20 – 24 cm in height, have dark red eyes, and a fairly thick, pink beak that is curved slightly downwards at the end. The call is a screech like a jay, but the song is a beautiful fluting as heard in the link above.

Where are they found?

The Golden Oriole was properly named in the 18th century, it is said that the Romans could have been calling them Orioles as early as the 12th century. They are found throughout Europe and western Asia but also in parts of Africa. The Golden Oriole is a summer migrant which means it migrates north for the cooler summer climates, and flies back south to the tropics when the winter begins. The Golden Orioles is nearly always found in  parks, orchards and gardens. They spend majority of time in tree canopies where their distinctive plumage helps them to remain hidden from lurking predators.

How is their living like?

The Golden Oriole breeds in the northern regions during the summer months, where courtship involves them chasing one another from tree to tree. The female Golden Oriole builds her nest, generally in the fork of a tree out of plant fibers and stems, in the shape of a shallow cup.

She lays between 3 and 6 eggs which hatch after an incubation period of between 15 and 18 days, that is  conducted by the female. Once hatched, both Golden Oriole parents help to feed and look after their young, which will leave or fly away within 20 days. Golden Orioles usually live around 9 or 10 years.

The Golden Oriole is an omnivorous animal that primarily feeds on insects, fruits and seeds. The relatively thick, slightly curved beak of the Golden Oriole is the perfect shape for picking insects out of holes and plucking fruits off the branches.

The Golden Oriole also has wide, clawed feet which assist the Bird in holding onto the more tricky branches when it is trying to gather food. They also play a vital role in re-distributing the seeds from the fruits, throughout their native eco-systems.

Second in the series of Bird Wise is this Golden Oriole, check out the calls of the bird link for more pictures. All pictures have mainly been clicked before & during my exams in March 2016. Now this is how my study breaks look like! 😉

 

Bird Wise – Pied Myna

Pied Myna 1Pied Myna
Locally Called – Gursal, Ablak, Ablaki Maina
Scientific name – Gracupica contra
Conservation status – Least Concern, instead population on a rise!

Pied Myna is a contrasting black and white bird, with the upper parts, throat and chest being black and the cheeks, lores (areas between the eyes and the bill), wing coverts and rump being white. The bare skin around the eyes are orange to reddish. The bill is yellowish with a reddish bill base. Males and females look alike.

They produce a wide repertoire of calls consisting of whistles, trills, buzzes, clicks and warbling notes. They make well known for their outstanding ability to mimic human speech and imitate tunes.

Where are they found?

Also called as Asian Pied Starlings occur naturally on the plains and low foothills of the Indian Subcontinent (South Asia) and Southeast Asia up to 2,300 feet (700 meters) above sea level. These starlings typically remain in areas with easy access to open water. Their diet mostly consists of insects, worms, spiders, etc. and various fruits. Over the last decades, they have expanded their territories. Populations of them have also established themselves in Dubai.

They have also adapted well to urban living and are often seen in cities and villages, and are generally seen in small groups. In urban environments, they are becoming so abundant that they are considered pests by many human residents. International union for Conservation of Nature(IUCN, 2006) recently listed them as among “100 of the World’s Most Invasive Species”.

How is their living like?

The breeding activities have been recorded between March and October. As the breeding season commences, flocks break up and birds pair up, although several pairs may breed in the same vicinity. The courtship ritual involves calling, fluffing of the feathers and head bobbing.

The nest is placed on a large tree (often banyan, mango, jackfruit or rosewood) or in urban areas, on man-made structures. It is loosely constructed out of straw into the shape of a dome with an entrance on the side.

A clutch consists of 4 – 6 glossy blue eggs, which are laid one every other day. The incubation usually starts after the third or fourth egg has been laid. The young hatch about 14 to 15 days later. The female broods the chicks for about two weeks, with the female staying at the nest during the night. The chicks are fed by both parents until they fledge about three weeks later. One instance of inter-specific feeding has been reported – where a Common Myna fed a young Asian Pied Starling.

I never get hungry while studying nor is mobile a distraction for me as food and tech exist in my life because of their necessity. My study table is right next to our french window and so the sound and view of these beautiful birds becomes my distraction. Pied Myna is just the start, stay tuned many more Birds coming up in this series of Bird WIse

5Ws and 1H of Self-Growth

Who?

The answer is you, one needs to have the will to change and become a better person. Here in the context of being a stronger person emotionally, the zeal to be stronger. You should feel that yes, I have to be stronger than this; I can’t feel sad or broken every other day. I have to know how to deal life without certain people I want in it, and with certain people I do not want in it. If there is such a will to be stronger, look forward to the next step.

What?

It is basically how one can take charge of situations that are emotionally challenging and come out victorious in it. One needs to give self sometime, time to the situation, to take emotional charge of it. So, if one is sure of having a growth emotionally, then should be ready to have ‘self-time’ or ‘me-time’ regularly. If that is asking of too much, do not go the next steps.

When?

For a better understanding of situations, this self-time should be given daily. Doing anything that you like, doing it alone, this makes a difference to the mind and how it functions, and therefore should be done on regular mostly daily basis.

Where?

Where ever on earth but has to be alone, this different from being lonely. Making and drinking a coffee, going for a walk etc. It can be anything, but has to make you feel peaceful and talk to your inner-self.

Why?

Sometime into this process of self-growth and giving ‘me-time’ on a daily or regular basis the question ‘why’ is not surprising. This process of self-growth helps to be a better person than one was, also helps increase ‘emotional quotient’ which is now a days a big thing than ‘intelligent quotient’.

How?

One needs to grow from within more than physically, this can happen only when sometime is given to understand one’s faults and weakness and build on it. A regular check of your self-growth can do wonders to become a better person. The only purpose to focus on self-growth is to be better and stronger emotional person than one was before.

Try to give yourself time on a regular basis and observe the positive changes. Do let me know if you try and what worked for you.

 

Emotions are Offline

In a train journey during a college industrial visit I just popped a question to my friend

‘How did your relationship began? Who said it first?’

One friend’s answer lead to curiosity of another and a chain of questions and answers followed until almost the entire class got involved in the discussion.

‘It was just a plain text message’

‘He didn’t say it but sang a song so even I didn’t say it but replied through a song’

‘We said it together like the text messages reached exactly at the same time’

And so many more stories of the ultimate confession for a feeling for someone special in our teens were discussed. The thing I noticed was the first time feelings said were through texts, calls or in meet ups and later on whatsapp texts and fewer skyped. The way emotions got conveyed is so heavily influenced by the technology available.

The good old ways of writing letters, waiting in a line to connect a call on a public telephone booth, waiting for calls to connect on the landlines etcetera. I remember I wished to write and receive letters from my first love, we wrote and coordinated through phone to get it exchanged from my building’s letter box despising the entire purpose of wait for a letter yet maintaining the hand written expression of feelings. That is how difficult it gets to express feelings in the style of a different technological era.

However I feel the advancements in technologies has decreased part of emotions and feelings, now by swiping left and right you decide your date. Your heart hardly plays a role and your brain’s decision in few seconds tells you with whom to go out for. Yes over the years society evolves and lot of changes occur in the way relationships work but my problem is the speed. The speed at which one decides to date someone and break off with someone is making it difficult for the feelings to survive, fights over changing status after being in relation and even sharing passwords is a huge discussion when topics to talk should be intended to know and understand the other. The part of the virtual world in the relationship complicates the emotional aspect of it.

Recently the known television star committed suicide due to issues with her boyfriend, I remember a few years back a famous film actress do so for similar reasons. When emotions and feelings go offline and communicating relationship issues goes haywire such results are seen. For me the ultimate secret to have a healthy relation is to understand how to romance with time, the time you get with your loved one. To try and attempt to know the other person’s likes and dislikes in real life rather than the things of the virtual world. As much as the internet and the digital age eases ways to communicate it complicates ways of expressing oneself.

If we consider movies depicting the way the society is then I belong to the time of the movie Sirf Tum, a very rare unusual love story of being in love with someone without ever meeting them but falling in love with the letters exchanged. However hard one may try, this kind of love story is difficult to survive in this digital age. A movie I watched last night made me feel so, that this is the age of speedy relations where the two lead stars just fall in the love entirely got conveyed on social media and shows complications in surviving such relationship. Such movies make me feel like an alien to this age where I still like to write to convey what I feel, thanks to postcrossing.com that my faith in writing still exists. May be this exactly why for the last couple of months I have been writing letters for my friends on Birthdays, Farewells and have been unable to give it to them due to this detachment I am feeling inside me!

Overall I feel the virtual world living is decreasing the understanding of living in reality and is in a way complicating expression of emotions and feelings. For good or for bad only time and more advancements shall tell.

 

 

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