be home saga

“You wake up and you have your tea, tiffin and breakfast ready. All you have to do is freshen up, leave for work and try to do it through the day. You travel. Try hardest to convince yourself you worked and then travel back home. Once you are home, you eat and sleep. This day repeats until Sunday where you blog and either sleep like a slog inside or you are out there on the mountains.”

That’s the crispest version of the kind of life I live. This whole breakout of a novel virus has made me realize things this above paragraph has that I have taken for granted. I have had gratitude towards people I have met and memories I have lived…until this lockdown at home made me realize there is so much more I need to value and be grateful for…

One thing that is majorly part of my life, for the past seven years, which I deeply miss, is the local trains. Yes, I said it. I am a true Mumbaikar and I miss hustling every single day in the jam-packed annoying local trains. I think my body has got habituated to the gross sweaty train travel. But an over a week into being home, I miss more of what the trains offer to my mind.

I have written separate posts, added many anecdotes in certain posts about what the Mumbai local has taught me. But, more than anything I realized, looking at so many people struggle every single day I feel reassured I am not alone. Everyone out there is trying to do the best of what they have, and every local train ride during peak hours gave a glimpse of that.

“I have always had the travel bug in me, my family never allowed. Post marriage, he took me to a few places. Later, after we had a kid, it all stopped. He always had work, and he travelled for work too. I was the only one with no travel in life. It sucked until my son grew up to be four.

I took this bold decision one weekend, informed my husband, his mother and my mother of it. I took help of a friend to book hotel, tickets etc. Soon, I and my son were off to a weekend experience at Mahabaleshwar all by ourselves. We connected and had a joyful time.

My son couldn’t stop sharing repeatedly all stories of horse riding, night circus and much more. Each time he shared it with utmost details and his beautiful smile. I could see for once, our son’s smile made my husband cry within. I made this me and son travel a regular thing for my family. I have taken him to various places now in the past year.”

This is an overheard story in the first class compartment of the local train. A lady for shared this with her friend who kept adding how she doesn’t have that much confidence to do the same with her child. Both of them exchanged numbers and shared details of hotels to stay, modes of transport for an individual travel. It was one inspiring morning.

Amidst the many headless battles I witness in the local trains, my ears get blessed with such stories too. I had immediately written a crux of this story on my mobile. Looking for post ideas this week I stumbled upon the journal entry of this inspiring lady.

I am definitely missing mountains and planning to be on them. I had a vague plan to go to the Himalayas which has gone on hold too. I have had many last-minute plans where we have just taken trains and left home, been in the mountains the entire day and come back. I am craving for that time to come again soon. I’ll definitely be crying out of pure joy once I am embracing a mountain again.

However, the story of this inspiring lady on the train has given me a different thing to ponder upon. Can I actually use this time at home and build up skills and confidence required to go on a solo trip? I think that’s what I’ll be thinking on next.

What about you guys? What is it that you are missing? What is that you are grateful for? What’s your next mission? Let’s chat on @nisha_navgire also, in hope that we all stay home and safe and come out gracefully through this pandemic situation.

‘the force within’

You can’t force anything on anyone. This might be a known fact to many, but I recently experienced the meaning of it. I am grateful for the people I crossed life paths with, as they have made me believe now, that nothing in the world can ever be truly forced.

The current outbreak of Corona Virus made governments all over the world to force certain hygiene rules on its citizens. There are few, but people exist who ran away or who got detected positive and went on public events. How much ever you try, nothing can be forced. The force within people can only move them to do something.

The virus expects certain hygiene rules. While working from home, it was tough to force these rules on dad. He has lived his life a certain way and he wouldn’t adhere to the basic norms expected. Both our forces created a fire in the house one evening.

As I reflected, I figured that he wasn’t wrong. He has lived a purely easy and simple life and definitely in more troublesome and difficult backgrounds. For him to believe that some hygiene rules unfollowed might get him sick was impossible. I cried post the realization and became quiet for the next two days.

Since the world around him suddenly tried to make him more aware, he paved. He follows the basic norm now. I don’t panic or react too much if he fails once. Sometimes, the force in us needs to calm down first before we convince the force in others to do something.

The department head in the office, tried to force a task on our team. It felt like a battle of two forces. She tried her best to make us do something while our team together tried to push that force away. In the end, perhaps because of the majority, we won. Such a victory was sour, not sweet.

The manager wished for our growth. We as a team already had enough on the plate and hence resisted more work. It is tough, but nothing good or bad can ever be forced. While reflecting on the incident it does feel like it would be better if we didn’t resist, but it is too late. As a team, we already fought back the force.

I think as a twenty-something, I have travel, work and writing feathers to my cap. But with regards to boys, I have been low key. Purely because of low self-esteem, I stayed away for the longest.

I did have one true connection and I had tried everything, to get that one connection with the love of my life right, years back. Today when I look at it, I only see the force in me trying to do it while the force in him was onto different things. We did have a connection, but perhaps, the forces in us wished for different things.

On the other hand, I feel, I am now with someone for years with whom it is easy. We took our time but not at any single second has either of us forced the other for anything. The comfort got built naturally. It was tough, we didn’t have it easy. It is relaxing now to be with someone where nothing seems like it is forced. Everything we do feels natural and simple.

Financial year-end made the weeks tougher and my mind more cluttered. I couldn’t even sit down to journal properly. I pushed myself, but couldn’t force the words out for a blog post. The whole ”be home during the virus” came at the right time for me. The fourth day into it, I have managed to de-clutter my mind and get a blog post out. Again, making me realize, only the force within can make us do something.

I’ll share my process of de-cluttering my mind in the coming posts.
@nisha_navgire on Insta to discuss the idea further.

‘build stronger humans’

I took a decision this week to go for a week-long Himalayan trek with India Hikes. I don’t know who I will be trekking with. I only know a good friend who works for the organization, and that I can’t let go of another year without being to the Himalayas. I skimmed through options on the website, chose a suitable trek for me and went ahead with the bookings.

When I shared this with a friend, she questioned me, what gives me the courage to take such bold decisions. I didn’t have an answer. She gave me a thought to ponder upon. The question made me curious to understand my thought process better.

It took me back to my childhood. It took me back to days and sometimes even nights I spent with Grandma. I remember teaching her usage of a remote, usage of washing machine and even a mobile phone. She was one curious soul who would learn everything new that enters the house, be it door latch, tv or even a computer!

The fact that my friend’s question made me curious to find an answer to it dwells in the way Grandma bought me up. I spent the maximum of my growing up days with her. I can definitely say that the curiosity I have in me towards the mountains or anything in general also is something her presence has given me.

When I thought about the bold part of the decision, then I definitely have to say that boldness runs in my veins. My mother has always been the bread bearer in my family. She maintained the balance between work and home perfectly from the times when working women were frowned upon.

I have seen many other women in my family hesitate to take the bold work-home kind of decision even today. It is not easy to do so today, it wasn’t easy back then. But my mom did it and did it well.

As I said boldness runs in the veins, it is also true in my sister’s case. She took a decision to study and settle abroad that created so much chaos. She stood still, focused and achieved what she wished for. Not even once have I seen my mom or my sister not achieve something they have eyed upon.

Being brought up in an environment as such, the decision I took was a normal one for me. However, the friend who questioned my decision has seen and lived in a different world. But, when I think deeper, it isn’t only about the women around me…

Yes, I adapted curiosity from Grandma and courage from mom and sister. But my grandmother grew up with five brothers, each of who strengthened her to become what she did. Similarly, mom grew up with three brothers. And as far as my sister is concerned, she had her better half by her side through the entire moving abroad decision of her life.

As far as I am concerned, I have also had the best set of men till-date who have pushed me to become a better version of me. Be it my cousins, boys I have dated, my college friends or even the people I have trekked and tripped with. In many ways, so many of them gave me the confidence to go ahead with my decision.

Strong men build strong women and vice versa. If we remove the sex from it, the statement still stands true. Strong humans build stronger humans – as simple as that! You are a boy or a girl reading this – make sure you are a human that adds value to the lives that surround you through support, care or whatever positivity you can.

@nisha_navgire on Insta to discuss anything further

Things I learned from Rubik’s Cube

Recently, I learned to solve the Rubik’s cube. The process of learning to solve the cube made me imbibe many other things. While I was penning all the knowledge I gained, I realized something. The process of solving the cube taught me similar things that a year of working at the NGO Toybank taught me.

Patience

The key to being a person who knows how to solve the cube is patience. There is a certain procedure that needs to be followed to solve the cube just like learning a new musical instrument or a new language. If you are low on patience and also at accepting failures, the cube is not the thing for you. However, the cube is the best way to accept failures and be a better patient person.

I joined Toybank in Jan’19. If I look back at the year that has passed, I can say that I have definitely grown to be more patient as a person. Patient towards my own slow learning process, patient and more kind towards self in order to spread the kindness to the people I work with. Dealing with dozens of difficult people added to my patience pool.

Confidence

The confidence boost that one gets after doing something that tests their patience is another level. I took the cube in my hand and dragged my brain completely into it for days until I cracked it completely. When I finally learned how it is done, I had reassurance in me that I can do something and that my brain cells haven’t given up yet. It is a content feeling.

 

At Toybank, learning to be confident wasn’t easy. I am not a person who trusts herself easily anyways. Having said that, the people I had to deal with externally kept breaking my confidence. Some few team members of Toybank internally proved to angels for me and helped me build my confidence. I am glad I came across these people and imbibed a bit of trust in myself, faced varied situations and came gloriously out of it.

Perseverance

I have never been among the ones that give up easily. But, the first two days I spent with the cube, I kind of wished to give up. It was tough to keep going. I am very harsh on myself and that’s only why I didn’t let the cube go unsolved. I don’t know what I would do to myself if I didn’t learn the cube quickly enough.

I know that’s not exactly perseverance. But, that’s my version of the same, where I don’t give up on something until I crack it. This attitude helped me through a year of working in Toybank. If I were a person who gave up quickly, I would have resigned from this place in the first week only. But, no quitter ever achieved anything big!

Chaos is Okay

While solving the cube layer by layer, there are high chances that something gets disturbed while solving another. But this chaos is fine. It is how the process is. Keep following the steps. Focus on the step you are at and at the end it adds up to the ultimate goal.

Toybank is a small organization and is on the verge of expansion and growth. Of course that means constant changes to become bigger and better. It wouldn’t be wrong if I say that I have never completed anything I took in hand the same way it was initially decided to be done. Such an environment has only made me more open as a person, positive and adaptive towards all kinds of changes.

Of course, there are more things I learned from the cube and at Toybank both! I tried but I just couldn’t pen it all down. But, I hope the above inspires you to pick up the cube. Do write to me what all you pick from it @nisha_navgire

Grateful for Trek Mates

I have for long thought that I will have a post dedicated to all my trek mates. This special post will be a gratitude post that will highlight everything that I have ever learned from each one of them. This post is due and will happen soon but before that I have summed up common things I appreciate in all my trek mates.

Balancing Act

To give anything time apart from work and family is a task – a fact we all know. Yet time and again the mad people I trek with have managed to find the time to do something they love and be in the mountains.

When I began to trek with these people it was different. We were all in college and life was easier. Being every other weekend in the mountains wasn’t a big deal. Adulting is tough and growing up makes it tougher to keep following stuff you are passionate about.

However, be it getting family members to trek, making sure one weekend is with family and the rest on mountains, or knowing and mapping the need in the house so as to plan which weekend can be okay with family if you are in the mountains is a puzzle that each person I trek with has till date managed to solve well…

There have been times when treks have been planned and some work or family emergency ruined it for so many of us. Such emergencies have made many miss treks they would have loved to be part of. But never has this balancing act got us down. None gave up till date. One, two or many, each trek mate I know since five years hasn’t stopped. Adulting is making it tougher but passion survives it all.

Curious for Knowledge

The core group I speak of here who will be part of my appreciation post soon are all hungry for knowledge. Each one has a special reason and interest to be in the mountains and makes sure has enough knowledge gained during each trek. History, fort architecture, nature, birds or mountain ranges are just some of the many broad categories.

No one has ever said no to grasp something new from the other. The amount of knowledge each one has in their particular field of interest related to treks is crazy. I haven’t yet managed to gauge it all from them, the reason why it keeps me going on these trek mates. Exactly why treks feel incomplete without the presence of all core people of my trek group.

Adaptive Nature

I am someone who loves to plan, loves it, even more, to adhere to plans made. My brain panics, when plans aren’t made at all or are made and not adhered to. It gets difficult for my brain to process plan changes, especially at the last minutes.

However, I can say that through the five years of trekking with my gang I have become better at adapting to changes at treks. My brain doesn’t panic anymore, yes it stops, but I am getting better at accepting sudden changes at treks. I have become more adaptive as a person thanks to the crazy on spot plan makers I trek with.

I believe I have seen my mates adapt to all kinds of tough situations one can think of during a trek. Be it a terrible accident, be it losing our way to the fort, be it losing a mate, be it the absence of enough water or food, you name it and we have survived it together with grace.

Neither of the trek mates has ever said no to something. The attitude of all of them has always been that of let’s try it. Every suggestion has always been considered to make the trek successful. Each person has tried their best to add value to what is already on the plate and adapted to whatever has been the final outcome.

I am grateful to have met my crazy trek bunch. I can never be enough grateful. I hope that this gratitude post also becomes a motivator for us to be better versions of what we are and keep learning like we always have. The in depth “things I learned from each trek mate” post shall come soon, I promise.

@nisha_navgire for some pictures of the treks I have been to with these amaze people.

‘their love keeps me going’

I love many things and the love for all of it keeps me going. The love I have for some people, the love I receive from so many, the love I have for blogging and travelling, my love for organizing are only to name a few. I am grateful for the existence of love in my life in all these forms.

Family | loved ones

I have time and again said this and I don’t mind repeating it one more time – my mother is my biggest support system. Be it choosing a course to study, be it making an eating schedule to follow, be it avoiding family members for a trek, every tiny part of my life, she knows it and has been there through it all, her love keeps me going.

She has begun to read my blogs also this year and I couldn’t be more grateful for that. Her insights and proud comments on what I write give me a different high! Apart from her, I have a couple of close family members too that are all powerhouse of motivation.

My closest friend list is tight of only a few people, but they all add meat to my being. Crucial feedback, constructive criticism, saving tips, relationship gurus and free treats as much as I need! You name it and they got it covered. I am sure I have the best bunch of people as close friends, their love keeps me going.

Writing | thinktwicenish

Today as I type this post, I have taken my first baby step to grow my blog. I have had the first initial level conversation about how my blog will look in a while with the White Elephant Digital. I have finally decided to purchase a domain and things are going to get bigger from now on.

I am dancing within excitedly thinking how the year is going to be for my blog. I still struggle to get my weekly posts out in time and be completely content with my own content, but I am trying. Now that I have taken a step further, it is only going to get tougher and I have braced myself for it. The love for writing keeps me going.

Travel | wisdom

I lose track of the number of things I have learned each time I have been out there with nature. It is hard to put it all in words the amount of wisdom I have gained from a single trip or from all the travelling I have done so far. Each trip is unique, each step out is learning.

In the second month of the year – I am already done with three treks and fourth is being planned already! This is the best start to the year I could ask for travel-wise. I connect to myself more when I am with nature. I learn newer sides of me and everything around me. This insane love for outdoors keeps me going

This post is a continuation of love keeps us going. If you haven’t read that, read it here.
Wish to connect further? Write to me @nisha_navgire on Insta.

‘love keeps us going’

What am I doing now? What should I be doing next? Is life at the moment making sense? Why do I feel so lost every other day? Is adulting supposed to be this chaotic?

That’s just first few lines of my journal entry a day ago. Anxiety attacks or existential crisis, I don’t know, but this kind of entry keeps repeating in my journal. But, yesterday on my way to work I realized I am not alone.

Many people my age, who either have achieved something they wished or have not or are in the process – all of them feel this same kind of chaos. By my age, I mean like a few years after graduation. Each day I travel and meet many ships trying to sail this journey.

For college or for work, it’s been more than seven years I am travelling by Mumbai Local train. Almost every other day, I see individuals struggling to stay alive as they travel to their workplaces and back.

I overheard a conversation of two ladies, hanging from a train, complaining about work, bosses, work culture and much more. They really sounded frustrated, like they could actually pull someone out of the train in that anger. Yet, they were hanging in there and doing their best to be in time to work.

As I wondered why I noticed another girl my age, she is the one I usually speak to every morning. She looked overtly joyful than usual. I enquired and figured she was happy because her husband and in-laws were going to be away for a day and she would be living one peaceful day after ages.

What kind of life must be to feel peaceful when left alone? I have often heard from her about her idiotic in-laws and other crappy family members and how yet she cooks for them and speaks to them with a smile.

I tried to fathom, what keeps these women going? Doing such difficult tasks every day? Be it hanging off a train or dealing with strange family members, what is it that still keeps them motivated?

Though the ladies hanging off the train complained of work lives, while still hanging, laughed and chatted joyfully about family. They shared cute stories about their children and newer parenting skills they are trying to imbibe.

My friend who rants of her in-laws almost every other day shyly says how its all worth it for the man in her life. Though the marriage is arranged, she gushes about the love that exists that keeps her going.

I stood there looking at these three ladies and smiled. It felt like witnessing the power of love in one frame. Is it not love that helps them deal with everything they are put into? Isn’t the pure love for their beloved family members that helps them deal and conquer with difficult battles each day?

Trying to calm myself, I wrote in my journal that day- it is okay. Life does not exist to be simple. Its core character is to be chaotic. As far as you have found love that will keep you going, you are fine.

Have I found the love that will keep me going? Oh yes! More about the love that keeps me going in future posts…

For now, think about what is it that keeps you going despite everything life puts you into…
if you have an answer write to me on Insta @nisha_navgire

‘in complete sync’

The moment I saw it, my pace increased. My legs wished to give up but my mind didn’t. I barely drank water on the way up. Yet as I hugged this first huge rock at the base of Torna, my cheeks felt a drizzle.

Two years back, four of us from my trek group had come to Rajgadh but couldn’t see the Sanjeevni Machi. The plan was to complete it and head to Torna Fort. No one processed the practicality of this last-minute trek plan at all.

The drive to the base of Gunjawne on Saturday night was a delight. I met many trek friends after long, it felt good to catch up with everyone. There were a few new faces like always adding to the diversity of the group.

After a nap and breakfast, we begin the trek to Rajgadh post sunrise. My mind was cluttered with many thoughts. With each step I climbed, I let go of every single thought bothering me. By the time I was at the top of Rajgadh, it was only me and the mountains.

We quickly explored the Sanjeevni Machi and began the walk to Torna. The climb down Rajgadh only made us all realize that this won’t be easy. My mood went off thinking of a negative possibility of not being able to reach Torna, especially with a few first-timers.

Soon, the group decided that whoever can reach and finish Torna, does so, the rest will target to reach the base village only. I didn’t wish to head home from the base and I began walking with the group targeting to explore the fort.

This decision wasn’t easy for many reasons. I had two treks in Jan, one with only one trek mate, the other with only a handful. I love to trek with my core trek bunch, as each individual is unique. Till the top of Rajgadh I did feel good to be walking up with all, but now moving ahead just like that made my heart sank.

The fact that the target felt impossible, the void of not having my trek mates around made this walk pathetically difficult for me in the mind. I hadn’t had lunch and dinner properly on Saturday, breakfast was fine in the morning, I knew physically it was going to tear me too.

Never have as ever the Sahyadri let me below for long. The moment I was physically drowning, there appeared out of no-where villagers selling lime water and buttermilk. The moment I was drowning mentally thinking what if someone’s body gives up, and all the other negative possibilities, I saw one head at the very end of mountain walking up.

There are many mountains that one needs to climb up and down during this Rajgadh Torna range trek. Only during the first mountain, I turned back and saw how close Rajgadh was and how far far away Torna looked. I decided to only look back at Rajgadh when I am at the base of Torna.

Yes, the walk is draining but the most difficult part I felt during this entire Rajgadh Torna was the last climb up to Torna. It has two patches up before the iron stairs to the top. These patches aren’t difficult otherwise, but a task if you have just drained yourself during the walk till here. I just saw the face of Torna, smiled and sheer excitement pushed myself hard enough to walk up these patches.

The moment I reached, I hugged this huge rock and post that just lay on my back for a while. I got up to see a lady and her son asking me if I needed water, lime water or buttermilk. I asked her way to reach Velhe, the village from which we could go to Gujawne were our vehicles were parked.

She said that there is no other way but to climb up the fort and then go down from the other end to reach Velhe village. That statement hit me like a bullet. I was in my head processing how difficult it is going to be to reach till here for everyone, now I just couldn’t fathom how everyone will manage to climb up.

Torna Fort, right from the first hug was love at first sight for me. The massiveness of the mountain that this fort is built on, the intellectually crafted structure and of course the natural elements like trees, grass and everything that has blend into this fort made my heart filled with joy.

The entire time I explored this fort, I sang, and danced, responding through gushing wind and dancing grasses and gliding swifts, the one hour of exploring the fort felt like me and this mountain fort were in complete sync, in one rhythm of joy.

I couldn’t believe for the longest that I was at Torna and that Rajgadh looked so far far away. Waves of concern kept hitting me for the group I could barely see like tiny creatures walking towards the fort. In my head, I kept singing motivating songs for them as if it will reach them.

Soon, the entire group was at Torna. We all saw the sunset and begin to descend the fort as the sun bid goodbye and the half-moon began to smile right at the top of us. Each person held themselves up, picked up their last bit of energy like the torches in their hand and walked down to Velhe village. We applauded and appreciated the first-timers and in general to everyone for not giving up and making this trek happen!

We managed to get a vehicle from Velhe to Gujawne – where our cars were. The moment I was in my car seat, the night became a blur to me. I already stepped into thinking for the next day. I had to rest to work the next day. I remember eating some good chicken, exactly why I love my trek group as each trek is unique with them and always ends with some good food!

This trek made me believe more strongly that nothing is impossible especially for my trek group! @nisha_navgire for any more details on this trek.

think twice nish

This October, my blog will turn six years old with two years of weekly blogging. I didn’t expect a simple hobby to write to become this big part of my life. I am grateful for this journey and am on my way to make it better.

I read, saw videos and talked to like-minded individuals to understand what can be the next steps for the growth of my blog. Among the many things, one common suggestion came was to buy a domain.

My blog URL has always been thinktwicenish on WordPress. And I have no idea why and how did I convince myself to have Coconut Writer as my blog title. If I was going to invest more in my blog, I had to get these basics right.

Since one section of my posts, all these years has clearly been travel and the other sections reached all spectrums of conversations, I couldn’t fathom what the URL or title name should change too.

I have my name as my Insta handle and it has worked good so far. I couldn’t break down all my posts of these years to one niche and so nishanavgire got decided as the blog URL. Coconut Writer as the title had to change. This is the core I began this task. But to what? What should I change it to? This thought was in me for months.

Last Monday, I got up to a very sad start, for reasons unavoidable I had to miss my weekend trek. I couldn’t take it in. I was fighting with myself, convincing myself that I can let go of this unavoidable situation and just go the trek. But, thanks to some kind humans around me, I didn’t do so.

These people made me think twice about what I was about to do. They made me realize how over the years of my blogging, I completely forgot what made me keep the URL of it.

I have been a person of quick reactions with a twist of complicated decisions and snappy judgements. Something I really try hard to work on and hence had my URL as thinktwicenish to remind myself to thinktwice and not get snappy with even the tiniest thing.

Feeling really positive about all the change I look forward to, on 24th of this month, I finally changed my URL to my name – nishanavgire.wordpress.com and my blog title to think twice nish.

The next step is to remove that wordpress.com post my name and have the best designs done to present all posts on think twice nish. @nisha_navgire on Insta to discuss these changes further.

before the sunset

Imagine you are watching a peaceful sunset at the top of a mountain and suddenly you slip, fall and almost die. Or worse, you are relishing a perfectly home-made biryani and you bite an elaichi? Feels dead right? Exactly how this week started for me.

My first non-trek weekend of the year was good. I met Felicia, won a medal after ages and slept well. I couldn’t have asked more as my leave for Saturday to trek also got sanctioned. Yes, until here is where I was rejoicing my sunset, rejoicing my biryani and then it all fell apart.

I am a difficult person to surprise, as I have weeks jammed with work, weekends jammed with treks and other blogging commitments. It is tough to catch me off guard or make me break this chain I follow. No one loves Monday, but this third Monday of the year is clearly the worst so far.

It made me realize that I am still a weak person. It gave me an opportunity to be strong, but I failed. I had the opportunity to make a rational decision by myself, but instead, I broke down to nuisance and became my emotional fool self. Last year, I was the same, this year perhaps I am way worse.

I was about to make a decision that would hurt my most loved human. I cancelled my weekend’s trek for her. I can’t fathom what I love more anymore! One has given me life the other has given me the hope to live it. Yes, love for life-giver is far more, but it isn’t any less for the one I walk my life with.

The pain is real. This weekend is going to suck. I will be home unhappy about missing a trek. If I go, I’ll be unhappy on the mountain ditching my life-giver. I hate how my brain overthinks such simple situations to a limit where I can’t take it in. I just can’t.

I am not ready for this. I am not. I don’t know how I will get ready for it either. It is almost as if I wish to skip this weekend. I don’t want any of it. Neither this, not that, run away. But hey, escapists are losers aren’t they?

So I’ll be home facing the little drama of my life this weekend. How much ever running away feels easy, feels right, it isn’t. I’ll stay back, face it all with grace. I am sort of away until the weekend for work in Beed, but I think that was the super power’s plan. Keeping me away till the sun is ready to set.

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