being there – think twice nish

I never found myself to be a complete introvert, or completely an extrovert. But after a bit of research I found this quote and it made me feel better. “There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert.” Carl Jung. He proposed that each individual has both introverted and extroverted side and it depends on what takes predominance over the other.

Jung said that there is middle and its being an Ambivert. An ambivert is a person who has a balance of the traits of an introvert and extrovert. For example, a person, who requires and enjoys time with self, such a person also rejoices time with people.

Yes, I am this personality type, I need my time and I also need time with people. I was so glad to know this. And this is one of the reasons why, I either am into a person and share everything I wish or I am not at all. Being an ambivert is why I either come out to be as introverts to some people and extroverts to few.

I am still in contact with the guide I met in Manali but I am not with ‘friends’ from school. The people I travel with know a different me than my friends from college. The bond I share with mom is similar to two of close friends. I recently connected to a person from college, outside of college. I am in touch with only two people from school and share a unique bond with both.

We all connect to different people on different levels. Each connection is special in its own way. It need not be boxed in to friends, close friends, best friends, family etc.

You just know it when you connect to someone. It can be in a train journey, in a party, in a formal meeting anywhere. It is also the other way round. You just know it when you don’t connect with someone and there is some friction. Best example can be that one friend in your entire college group you don’t talk to, share with or in my words ‘feel connected’ with.

I have lost people in my life because I stopped feeling connected to them on any level. For good or bad I don’t know, but there wasn’t a thing that made me stay in touch. I did try to on many levels but it didn’t work. This is when I started living on the word connection more than friendship.

In this fast paced life why pressure oneself and make promises of being there when you know apart from a few people you really can’t be there for all?

You be there in need for someone and that’s enough. This need can be of someone you just met in train or knew for years from school, what matters is being there at the right time, being approachable. This also helps you to be detached and not dependent.

We as a generation are growing up to be more virtual. The need to share what you are doing and with whom is becoming more important than what you actually are doing. We are at one point all guilty of some event we went to where we did nothing but update it on social media.

The important point here to be aware of what one is doing. And try to strike a balance between being in the virtual and connecting in the real world, being there for people in real and acknowledging the power of the virtual. Just like an ambivert who balances the introvert and extrovert traits, the need of the day is to balance the real and virtual.

Know when to be in real and how to use the virtual for your benefit
and life will become magical wherever you head to.

If I ask my mind to do a work, which I am expected to do, like for example writing for my job, I am confident and I’ll do it. I might even redo it if required. But, if I ask myself to express something I feel for someone, my mind says ‘fuck off you aren’t doing that shit’.

I, for some reason have this weird self-doubting and self-confidence issue which pops up only when I have to do some personal expression kind of task, for example expressing feelings to my crush, telling someone I care for them etc. But this is changing.

From the time I have known Felicia, she has always been confident of the way she is. I have never seen her doubt herself for the way she looks. Omkar always calls himself ‘best’ no matter what the situation, occasion, photo anything. It sometimes gets annoying but it is the best way to instil some self-confidence. Whenever I have been in situations need of confidence, I have told myself you are best and it has worked!

Since I started loving the way I am a bit more and accepting myself, I got some courage to express what I feel too. I realized when there is certain amount of self-love and care it helps to convey the love and care for others.

Long distance within Mumbai is a reality. It isn’t feasible to travel one end to another to meet your buds every week. I have, since the time college is done met these two once a month. It sucks, but hey this has made me realize that being there for someone doesn’t mean practically seeing each other every time, it means being available when in need. And I am glad that in spite of the distance we have managed to be there for each other no matter what!

Felicia and Omkar are both good in more than one thing- photography/filming being common in both. Felcia has dancing skills while Omkar knows the tabla is two skills among some more both of them can do. The way both have put in efforts to nurture these skills and always have the learning wheel going is enough motivation for me to keep doing things I love!

Felica has a special skill when it comes to analysing and dealing with people. She is my go-to person when I have a problem dealing with someone. I don’t know how, she just sorts it for me of how I can deal the person. Omkar on the other hand has a calm head which is best to understand how to deal a troublesome situation. He breaks it down and makes it easier to deal with. I am trying my best to learn these two very important skills from both my gems!

The best common thing both have is kindness. They both believe to be human first over everything. It can be a dog, a person in train, a stranger or anyone. I think this quality is common among three of us.

You too might have that one friend or two or if lucky more friends who have made you realize and learn some important things. Yes, friends are to have fun, but there is so much more to friendship than that! Come, its time you think and appreciate friends for the good they have done to you as a person and when you do so, let me know too!

Tag: being there

The Balance – I

Things I have learned from Felicia and Omkar