Flashback – Dec’16

“When asked the question, who in the class can sing? All the hands in the kinder-garden would go up! But as the same question is being asked in classes higher up till class 10, slowly numbers of hands go down. Why? As we grow up we don’t say yes, we understand our comfort zone and dwell in it. It is important to try new things and broadening the comfort zone!”

This is the story Sir narrated as we reached Apsara Vihar-a scenic view point in Madhya Pradesh last December as part of college Nature Club Camp. He then asked us to take out the colour pencils he gave and draw the scene. Obediently we all drew. My drawing looked more like a zombie girl trying to save her life from some scary triangles (supposed to be mountains) but that was the point, to try something new! I drew and I also penned my first poem. It was a beautiful feeling!


Last December I was a third year media student. At the back of my mind were questions of what next? Questions about future to which I didn’t have answers or knew where to find them. But then, I met Tejal Ma’am on the camp and one simple morning conversation with her made me relax about all those back-end questions!

You are a professional architect, what makes you still roll in for these part time courses in so many varied fields?

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A glimpse of my travel book

“At the end it all connects.

Even if it doesn’t make you happy, it shall give you experience.

It is also good to know what you don’t like!” are earnest pointers of her well explained reply.

This December, when I am half year ahead of being a graduate and actually living the most chaotic stage in life, it all connects to this conversation with Tejal Ma’am last year.

I have a job in hand, a course in mind and uncertainty about what to do now and in future dwelling within me. Things at my first job haven’t made me happy, they have made me sure of what I don’t like and hey, overall definitely given me an experience! It also calms me down to think that the new job I am doing now will connect to what I’ll do in future.


Last December Camp’s flashback has to talk about this one night I opened up about what exactly I feel about the people who matter the most to me. This night’s conversation helped me this entire year to deal with emotions better. Yes, I spoke about family, friends, etc with Tejal Ma’am and Anish Cheata (the star from My First Snow Trek blog.) The mantra that I received from the conversation which helped me survive this year was-

“Observe, grasp it all in, the entire situation with your loved one.

Feeling: try to analyse what exactly you feel about the situation/equation with the person.

Need, try to understand what you need from the person

Request, attempt to politely get it”

In more than one situation and in varied ways, I did use this formula and had a better emotional journey this year. This formula might sound vague, unrealistic perhaps. But if you are in an emotional situation with a person, or ever wish to deal a relation with your close one better, try to apply it then, and I am sure, at that point, this would be helpful.


I am glad that year was beautiful emotionally and definitely feels stronger at heart. Keeping the ‘say yes to life’ principle in mind, I wrote poetry all year long and also managed to get courage by end to design them up for Instagram. I promised myself and managed to travel more this year. Bonus, made a travel book as well!

The Flashback series will give a glimpse of this year in varied ways. I hope you like this last series of 2017 and get something to take back from each post in the series too.

 

 

 

When I met Salma

Her smile tried to hide the evident pain in her eyes. While adding sugar to her coffee she said ‘I was fighting for his daughter’s education but he tried to kill me twice.’ She talked about her other hardships with the same ease. Did she become numb to her problems or speaking about them with this ease made it less painful?

As I wondered topic changed and we talked about our beautiful college structure and the recent trip to Sikkim we had. Suddenly there was happiness in her eyes as she spoke of her trip to Assam. She showed pictures from her phone and shared her experience. The sorrow redeemed her eyes as she plainly said how she regrets for not being able to study in a proper college with the constant nervous smile on her face.

She further spoke about the education of her sons, what they are pursuing etc. However, sons are not so much into her literature side. In this moment it was difficult to read her eyes, she looked glad and a bit taken back at the same time. She said they are proud of her work but don’t really sit back and read it all. None of these emotions held her smile back.

As I had written about her mother after watching the documentary, with lot of courage I asked Salma about the bond she shares with her mother. She answered with ease that there is lot of love, only that mother is still very innocent. She said her mother doesn’t understand human rights etc, she still lives in a small world. Till date my mother eats only after my father has food. I cannot blame her, it’s the way she is brought up, it’s the way maximum of the girls there think.

I further asked how she is so different. How did her idea of life change? She immediately replied, ‘it’s because of what I read’. I read a lot and understood things about the world, not everyone there in my village got such understanding.

Salma is a strong woman with an amazing emotional intelligence. She managed to be warm to us in spite of the cold fountains within. Her eyes didn’t hide any emotions but her smile always won it at the end.

Read Salma’s poetry at www.poetsalma.com

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