‘home is a feeling’

One of the most common questions I get asked towards the end of a year is “so how many places you travelled this year?” Whatever the number I answer, small or big, the next question pops up “how do you manage to do so much travel?”

Often, I humbly reply saying there are people travelling more than I do, some even get paid these days. However, the following question puzzles me more “how do you manage to stay away from home for so long?”

There are people who tell me that they are in awe of how I manage time to travel. Some say that you are lucky to have money in hand to travel. I feel blessed to have both at once and be able to explore places a bit.

But, about missing home when away, I don’t feel so, I don’t miss it. I have lived away from home enough to know the value of a home as a place. A shelter to dwell, eat and have a comfortable living. I know the importance of it.

But home is also where I boss around, take care of Maa and the rest. I cherish the joy of being the one who is looking after things. I get to do this with people I am close to on my trips and treks. It feels happy to make people do things for their good, it feels home to do so.

I am a lazy head when it comes to daily mundane tasks of a bath, hair wash etc. On my to-do list, priority is to read and write than to bathe and whatever. And when out, not always we all get to bath, what a relief to a lazy head like me. It totally feels home when this happens.

Home is also where I am made to feel out of place, as my parents and sister have a commerce background and I am a humanities student. A major reason why my sister always manages to prove that I am adopted!

Anyway, the fact that the people I travel with and the people I meet as I travel are all so different than me. I relate to a few, I completely don’t to so many. I feel home when I am among a bunch of people completely different than me, in more than one way.

The idea of a festival in my house is different. We don’t follow any religion too rigorously to follow any festival rituals the same way. And so the idea of celebrating any festival gets down to cooking a special meal and calling people to hog.

A little titter-tatter, good food, some dessert, some singing and grooving at times is what festival at home feels like. More often than not on big trips, there is at least one full night where I do not sleep just talk with people, listen to music and chill. At such nights, it does feel home!

Being a writer, I am a natural observer. For some reason, I observe people and situations more than I observe things and places. I tend to grow more as a person with these observations that I pen down about people and situations after each travel.

I find comfort when I am with certain people, I feel easy, happy, it feels home with them around. I have only Maa at home, apart from her, I am only used to a few faces around at home. I can never feel easy or happy in a crowd.

Perhaps why I run away from the crowd when I travel. Even if it means to run away for a while with the bunch I am travelling with. I do so to feel easy, to feel comfortable, to feel home. This is also the reason why I haven’t been able to connect to more than a few people at once throughout life.

I have only two people I connected with completely from school, junior college, and even senior college. I know many people but a genuine bond of share and care with only two. This year I even found my two trek mates who make me feel home among a bunch of around ten I travel with.

If a home is a feeling of ease and comfort, each of the above people make me feel so. I am my true version to them. They have seen my good, bad, worse, and have managed to sail through. The ease around them is the feeling of ease as if at home.

I can go on and on and it will never end. As talking about home isn’t easy as it isn’t a place. And to speak about a feeling, words always fall less. I love the feeling of home. The feeling I get doing a few things, the feeling I get by being with certain people.

I don’t know what is home for you, but I hope you figure it out. It is always nice to know what makes you feel at ease so as to go and dug into it in times of need.

November 4, 2018

‘have a good time’

I didn’t wish to write about this weekend’s trip. ‘I don’t think I have enough stories and experiences to put them to words this time’ I said to a friend.

When I uttered these words to him is when I realized my mistake. I said so because the experience I had was not like my usual two-day trek kind. When I removed the two-day trek reference in my mind, I got many stories to write about the two happy days I had.

We began to drive towards Jawahar, around eight in the morning. There were four bikes and a car and of course I was on the bike with my cousin Sanish. The sun was kind in the beginning and then got harsh on us, but the beautiful road kept us going.

I and my cousin sang a variety of songs as we rode across the beautiful landscape. Our happiness matched the level of the madness of Shammi Kapoor’s dance moves and so perhaps we sang his songs all the way. The playlist altered to some random travel songs as we reached our hotel.

The hotel had a swing, I didn’t get off it until the lunch was finally ready and night stay was looked after. When we sat down to eat, it rained. The cold breeze with the smell of soil felt refreshing. I don’t enjoy eating much, but I loved this lunch, I felt full.

After lunch when we left for Dhabosa Waterfall, the sun was out again, as if the rain just came to help me eat well. We saw it from above, we didn’t go near the waterfall as we had to see some more places, so after clicking a few pictures we left.

I felt so low, I was quiet on the ride to the next place in mind. I sang a few songs still, as the road was so pretty! We reached the sunset point, a noisy crowded place. Not being able to feel the water and then in this crowd, I was about to break down.

I had a walk around the place and felt better. I went back to my people, we clicked a few pictures and then left to the Jai Villas Palace. We reached late and so couldn’t go in, but a walk around was enough to fall in love with its structure.

Jawahar was a princely hill station of the British time ruled by the Munke family. Jai Vilas Palace was their seat of power. It has around 80 room. The structure, the pristine pinkish stone used does give a glimpse of the mighty aura the Munke family lived in.

After kind of living a British history chapter, we entered a mythological one. We went to Hanuman Point. Legend has it that Hanuman loved this hill station had rested here. We can all take this myth with a pinch of salt.

We had ice cream and then left to our hotel. I played the swing again for a while before it was time for dinner. We walked around the place as the moon kept a watch on us. We went back to the hotel and decided to listen to some music before we slept.

We heard a few songs, then one of us wanted to watch the video of the songs played. And that is how it all began, one video and another and in time we were grooving to beats of the song.

We didn’t have a speaker, but the playlist was such that almost all knew all songs and steps perfectly to do it right. It was so relaxing, I forgot all about the day, and just sang and danced.

After a while, I went to the room and crashed. My body asked me to sleep but the room was filled with laughter, there were constant jokes and comments and so much more happening. I was laughing at all the madness happening and didn’t realize when I dozed off. It was the first time ever I slept while laughing so much!

I got up, got fresh, and had a walk outside with a friend. We came back, saw the sunrise from our hotel’s terrace. It was a beautiful start to the day. We had a quick breakfast, took all our bags and left to Shirpamal.

It was a gateway made to keep an eye on the surrounding by the Marathas. Shirpamal was a stopover point for Shivaji Maharaj when he headed towards Surat. The structure and the view are as enticing as the story behind it.

Almost like a laughing gas was on, the jokes kept happening as we laughed our way out of Shirpamal. Joyfully, we headed to Bhupatgadh next. The ride was tricky but the landscape beautiful.

The climb of half hour to the fort was tedious due to heat yet I smiled. I couldn’t stop grinning as I was on a mountain, there were trees around me, and I was heading to an old structure, walking with my crazy bunch.

Bhopatgadh fort was mainly used for official meetings and planning. It has good water storage, a few wells and a small pond. The remains of the structure, the view from the top is all worth the visit.

I wanted to stay on the mountain for longer and so walked the way back to our vehicles but didn’t help. I was feeling a bit low to let go of the mountain. Just then one of us pops up with ‘one rupee Pepsi’ I don’t know what else its called.

It is what I always had a kid. That little ice candy thing is a small joy of life. I got it at the right time, in the right place. I remember I hopped a little and took one out of the bag in my friend’s hand. True joy is indeed in small things as such.

We were on our way to Suryamal now, it is the highest point in Thane district. We saw wood carving on our way in Bhuritek village. There were two logs of wood with warriors carve done on each, one had a man other had a woman. I haven’t seen anything as such before and couldn’t find its purpose either.

Now we reached Suryamal, I clicked a few photos then I ran. As I ran, I let go of every single thought in my mind. I felt free, I stopped at a place and sat down for a while. There were at least twelve layers of mountains in front of me, the sun was about to set, there was a cool breeze and since I ran, I was away from the chitter-chatter of my group.

Life is so chaotic, decisions I am making, future decisions and so much more I keep over thinking about. But this trip was till now trying to calm me down, trying to say you deserve to chill, smile, and relax too.

For around five minutes as I observed this layered landscape, I was one with nature. It told me to have a good time. It told me to enjoy the chaos in order to be less troubled by it. I felt enlightened and then went back to my group.

After a lot of pictures and also my signature London Thumakda moves, we left. The next few km bike ride was super amazing, a good road with trees on both sides. I was happy high and it was time I did something more.

I stood on the bike and sang so many songs. I even managed to do a few hand waves. I did stand on the bike a while ago with fellow bike mates but this few km was something I’ll cherish forever.

As I stood on the bike, I let go of a lot of nonsense in my mind, I had no thoughts whatsoever. It indeed was my ‘jo bhi ho so ho’ moment!

The ride back home was crazy. I sat with my younger cousin for a change and we are real idiots. We scared random humans on the road while driving. Might not be morally right but was hilarious.

If I have to write it, personally, observing the people I was with, the situations we were into, I learned and have made notes.

I felt stronger in my mind by the end of this trip, as each person I was with had something to give which I lacked and I did have a good time.

October 22, 2018

The Balance – II

‘What’s your name?’

‘Nisha’

‘What’s your full name’

‘Nisha Navgire’

‘Okay, so what are you?’

This question expects a certain answer, and if it doesn’t receive it, there are high chances of the person asking it being offended. And I can definitely have a degree at offending people in this context as my answers usually don’t fit in what is expected.

And this is precisely why I avoid all social gatherings. These gatherings are highly important to my mom. An example can be the wedding of x person who is related to me in a chain which is perhaps more complicated than the political situation in this country.

The situation above is a tiny glimpse of the kind of social pressure to be boxed into a religion. If not what you believe in, the thing that satisfies such questions is what were you born into. But, if I don’t believe in the religion I was born into, what’s the point of telling it?

I believe there has to be a space, where in a person can speak up and say, I don’t understand my or any religion and I don’t wish to either. A person anywhere around this world should be given a choice to know, understand, learn and grow in a religion he or she wants to.

Twenty two or sixty two, it’s okay to not know what your religion is, what faith you belong to. I didn’t for the longest and I am still not sure if I do. It is really fine.

Just as education in this country which is ‘take it all in and please vomit it in exam’ religion is too. It is ‘take it all in from the time you are born and vomit it all over till you die.’ I envy the very few friends I know who were part of families where they could question, understand, learn and grow into the religion they were born into.

These guys are the most sorted as they completely understand what they believe in and why and also have total understanding of the ‘co-existence of various religions.’

I was only born into a religion, the latter part of knowing, understanding didn’t really happen. I was supposed to figure it out myself. I began my quest to find the ‘perfect’ religion to imbibe. Only to realize such a thing doesn’t exist.

Over twenty something years on this planet I realized there is no perfect religion as each has been at the end made by a human. And no human can be perfect, there has to be loop holes. After I figured this, I decided to take the good out of each religion I come across, over the years I live.

But the next question is does God exist? If religion at its base is made by humans, is God fictional to human minds or a reality known to few? This is where for me the word, balance comes into play.

You can be completely from the side of science and might deny the existence of God, or believe in its existence from all your heart and soul, but if you are neither, if you have related to the text above these two paragraphs then balance is the word for you.

In the flowing river, in the steady mountains, in the crawling clouds, in the flying birds, in the tiniest insect and the biggest mammal, in each of these and much more that I have witnessed of nature, is where for me God dwells in.

So for me there exists God, but I still am not sure of my religion. And question here really is why, why does one need a religion? There can be many answers to it, a general one I wish to consider here is for humans to live in a fashion which helps them last on this planet for long and in harmony.

If the above has to be considered as a base, I believe I have found my religion. My God is dwelling in nature. Main motto of my religion is humanity. And for humans to live longer on this planet, protecting it the way it has always been.

This all can make sense to you or not, point for this explanation of my frame on this subject if for you to grasp balance in this situation. Is for you to understand that in a society where on basis of religion there is violence and ever increasing intolerance I wish for you to have balance. A balance of understanding what your faith is (if there is) and what you behave in the name of this faith.

So what are you? What do you believe in?
Let’s share ideas on this, DM me on Instagram @nishanavgire

February 18, 2018