Tag: Love

The Balance – II

‘What’s your name?’

‘Nisha’

‘What’s your full name’

‘Nisha Navgire’

‘Okay, so what are you?’

This question expects a certain answer, and if it doesn’t receive it, there are high chances of the person asking it being offended. And I can definitely have a degree at offending people in this context as my answers usually don’t fit in what is expected.

And this is precisely why I avoid all social gatherings. These gatherings are highly important to my mom. An example can be the wedding of x person who is related to me in a chain which is perhaps more complicated than the political situation in this country.

The situation above is a tiny glimpse of the kind of social pressure to be boxed into a religion. If not what you believe in, the thing that satisfies such questions is what were you born into. But, if I don’t believe in the religion I was born into, what’s the point of telling it?

I believe there has to be a space, where in a person can speak up and say, I don’t understand my or any religion and I don’t wish to either. A person anywhere around this world should be given a choice to know, understand, learn and grow in a religion he or she wants to.

Twenty two or sixty two, it’s okay to not know what your religion is, what faith you belong to. I didn’t for the longest and I am still not sure if I do. It is really fine.

Just as education in this country which is ‘take it all in and please vomit it in exam’ religion is too. It is ‘take it all in from the time you are born and vomit it all over till you die.’ I envy the very few friends I know who were part of families where they could question, understand, learn and grow into the religion they were born into.

These guys are the most sorted as they completely understand what they believe in and why and also have total understanding of the ‘co-existence of various religions.’

I was only born into a religion, the latter part of knowing, understanding didn’t really happen. I was supposed to figure it out myself. I began my quest to find the ‘perfect’ religion to imbibe. Only to realize such a thing doesn’t exist.

Over twenty something years on this planet I realized there is no perfect religion as each has been at the end made by a human. And no human can be perfect, there has to be loop holes. After I figured this, I decided to take the good out of each religion I come across, over the years I live.

But the next question is does God exist? If religion at its base is made by humans, is God fictional to human minds or a reality known to few? This is where for me the word, balance comes into play.

You can be completely from the side of science and might deny the existence of God, or believe in its existence from all your heart and soul, but if you are neither, if you have related to the text above these two paragraphs then balance is the word for you.

In the flowing river, in the steady mountains, in the crawling clouds, in the flying birds, in the tiniest insect and the biggest mammal, in each of these and much more that I have witnessed of nature, is where for me God dwells in.

So for me there exists God, but I still am not sure of my religion. And question here really is why, why does one need a religion? There can be many answers to it, a general one I wish to consider here is for humans to live in a fashion which helps them last on this planet for long and in harmony.

If the above has to be considered as a base, I believe I have found my religion. My God is dwelling in nature. Main motto of my religion is humanity. And for humans to live longer on this planet, protecting it the way it has always been.

This all can make sense to you or not, point for this explanation of my frame on this subject if for you to grasp balance in this situation. Is for you to understand that in a society where on basis of religion there is violence and ever increasing intolerance I wish for you to have balance. A balance of understanding what your faith is (if there is) and what you behave in the name of this faith.

So what are you? What do you believe in?
Let’s share ideas on this, DM me on Instagram @nishanavgire

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things I learned from Maa

“Maa, I had a bad day, please keep the food and bed ready. Will just eat and sleep”

“Okay beta,”

As I hung up the call I realized how I would call her to get things while returning home from office. How she for all the years of her work life, never had a call back home saying what I just did. As I reached home, I hugged Maa and said “How did you manage work and yet manage us and all the other family drama so smoothly?”

“You have more to see in the world. Come have dinner, it will get cold”

I don’t remember a time I ever felt any joy for food. But she always feels the joy to cook for me in a hope that I’ll eat with the same joy.

This is being hopeful for two decades straight without any positive output! To me this is an epitome of being hopeful in life. How do you manage to have hope in such a hopeless child like me?

My sister posted that she went to Bondi beach in Australia.

“I’ll ask her boondi beach gayi hai, laddoo beach kab jayegi”

This is the kind of humour my mom has always had. This was a dig at my sister but more often than not the jokes are two fold, punching me right in the face and making herself laugh if not anyone else!

I think this is how she gets back at me for not eating. But her jokes have also managed to lighten my mood at times when all I wish to do is nag and cry.

“Mom I need some coffee”

“I am watching Kiran the Knitter’s new video, in 5 mins I’ll give”

The above mentioned youtuber is one of my mom’s favourite. She keeps learning new knitting skills online. Instead from the time she is been introduced to youtube there hasn’t been a day for her without learning something new in areas of her interest like knitting and cooking.

Mom has a root desire to do her bit no matter what. In any situation, under any circumstance she always thinks of the other before her. How? Maa is the kind of person who would get beaten all over and still offer the person some food, yes food because its mom after all!

I have only observed Maa, I am yet to learn how she manages to remain sane amidst the chaos around. I’ll try my best at adapting some poor joke skill as well. I have definitely inherited the learning wheel from her. I am trying to become more selfless. I am hopeful to learn all this and more. And my hopes won’t die, learned that for sure!

This is my last post in the series “Things I learned from…” I hope this and each post gave you some learning too 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things I have learned from Felicia and Omkar

If I ask my mind to do a work, which I am expected to do, like for example writing for my job, I am confident and I’ll do it. I might even redo it if required. But, if I ask myself to express something I feel for someone, my mind says ‘fuck off you aren’t doing that shit’.

I, for some reason have this weird self-doubting and self-confidence issue which pops up only when I have to do some personal expression kind of task, for example expressing feelings to my crush, telling someone I care for them etc. But this is changing.

From the time I have known Felicia, she has always been confident of the way she is. I have never seen her doubt herself for the way she looks. Omkar always calls himself ‘best’ no matter what the situation, occasion, photo anything. It sometimes gets annoying but it is the best way to instil some self-confidence. Whenever I have been in situations need of confidence, I have told myself you are best and it has worked!

Since I started loving the way I am a bit more and accepting myself, I got some courage to express what I feel too. I realized when there is certain amount of self-love and care it helps to convey the love and care for others.

Long distance within Mumbai is a reality. It isn’t feasible to travel one end to another to meet your buds every week. I have, since the time college is done met these two once a month. It sucks, but hey this has made me realize that being there for someone doesn’t mean practically seeing each other every time, it means being available when in need. And I am glad that in spite of the distance we have managed to be there for each other no matter what!

Felicia and Omkar are both good in more than one thing- photography/filming being common in both. Felcia has dancing skills while Omkar knows the tabla is two skills among some more both of them can do. The way both have put in efforts to nurture these skills and always have the learning wheel going is enough motivation for me to keep doing things I love!

Felica has a special skill when it comes to analysing and dealing with people. She is my go-to person when I have a problem dealing with someone. I don’t know how, she just sorts it for me of how I can deal the person. Omkar on the other hand has a calm head which is best to understand how to deal a troublesome situation. He breaks it down and makes it easier to deal with. I am trying my best to learn these two very important skills from both my gems!

The best common thing both have is kindness. They both believe to be human first over everything. It can be a dog, a person in train, a stranger or anyone. I think this quality is common among three of us.

You too might have that one friend or two or if lucky more friends who have made you realize and learn some important things. Yes, friends are to have fun, but there is so much more to friendship than that! Come, its time you think and appreciate friends for the good they have done to you as a person and when you do so, let me know too!

My First Mistake

My first mistake is about this one person I loved, my first love. After five years, my first mistake. Five years is the maximum time I have ever taken to realize that something I did was a mistake. It has taken me a year now to admit it finally that indeed my first love was my first mistake.

‘I let go of the relationship because I wasn’t able to make music. I wasn’t able to do something I am passionate about though I gave in a lot of efforts.’ A friend said when I asked about his past relationship.

He later adds that how he has learned to make better decisions about relationships. He believes that if being in a relationship somehow mentally stops you from doing what you love then there is something wrong.

I couldn’t have agreed more. Today a lot of people know me as a person who writes and who loves to travel. I wasn’t able to do this when I was in a relationship. Two years back when I first went with my cousin on a trek was my first step out of the relationship. This year when I challenged myself to write poems over prose is when I completely got myself out of the mistake.

IMG_20161229_160428205 - Copy
Your body knows when it is comfortable with someone or no, listen to it.

‘I learned how to express. I learned how to tell someone what I felt even if it meant to hurt them. I hurt him a lot, but I had to say what I felt, if I didn’t it would be worse.’ A friend expressed when asked about her learning from a relationship.

This is something I didn’t do. I never spoke what I felt in the relationship. I am as a person expressive mostly when I am happy. I can’t express anything when I am low. I ignored things that hurt me and blasted happiness on the ones that made me feel good. If you are reading this, please do not do this. Express everything you feel good or bad.

My first love was a mistake because I took the decision to be with someone too early. I was very young and I just let myself let go in it. I kept feeling something was wrong but only figured what was wrong too late.

A relationship can work only if you feel right about it. I always felt it was a mistake and it turned out to be one. But I am glad I have admitted it to myself that it was a mistake and figured out what exactly was wrong. I am glad that I have learned something and grown as a person. I only hope to not repeat the mistake and find someone right when it’s the right time.

Food Feelings

The one thing I dislike is ‘food’, eating and the entire cycle of it. It has been made for a reason and I respect it. This is my confession, apologies to people who love food, kindly not be offended, but there is not a thing I like about food.

It was difficult to come in terms with this, accept this feeling as ‘normal’ because of the reactions I would receive. ‘This is the reason you are thin, all fat people should start hating food, problem solved’ or for worse would not react but just laugh it off.But my point of confessing this dislike for food doesn’t end here. It was ‘hate’ earlier especially sweets but I have come down to ‘dislike’, so there is improvement.

I came up with a broader solutions to this, for who ever feels or felt like me anytime in life or knows someone who feels this way. One is to explore food as anything else, history of it etc. Try to engage with it as an entity, research on that one taste you relish in my case spicy. Going deeper into this is to finding videos of making of these foods and trying it out.

The other thing that works best is surrounding yourself with food lovers. Trust me, this is the easiest task ever. Once you are around them, it helps to kind of create even for the slightest second, love for food, it helps to eat more.

 

 

Bird Wise – Pied Myna

Pied Myna 1Pied Myna
Locally Called – Gursal, Ablak, Ablaki Maina
Scientific name – Gracupica contra
Conservation status – Least Concern, instead population on a rise!

Pied Myna is a contrasting black and white bird, with the upper parts, throat and chest being black and the cheeks, lores (areas between the eyes and the bill), wing coverts and rump being white. The bare skin around the eyes are orange to reddish. The bill is yellowish with a reddish bill base. Males and females look alike.

They produce a wide repertoire of calls consisting of whistles, trills, buzzes, clicks and warbling notes. They make well known for their outstanding ability to mimic human speech and imitate tunes.

Where are they found?

Also called as Asian Pied Starlings occur naturally on the plains and low foothills of the Indian Subcontinent (South Asia) and Southeast Asia up to 2,300 feet (700 meters) above sea level. These starlings typically remain in areas with easy access to open water. Their diet mostly consists of insects, worms, spiders, etc. and various fruits. Over the last decades, they have expanded their territories. Populations of them have also established themselves in Dubai.

They have also adapted well to urban living and are often seen in cities and villages, and are generally seen in small groups. In urban environments, they are becoming so abundant that they are considered pests by many human residents. International union for Conservation of Nature(IUCN, 2006) recently listed them as among “100 of the World’s Most Invasive Species”.

How is their living like?

The breeding activities have been recorded between March and October. As the breeding season commences, flocks break up and birds pair up, although several pairs may breed in the same vicinity. The courtship ritual involves calling, fluffing of the feathers and head bobbing.

The nest is placed on a large tree (often banyan, mango, jackfruit or rosewood) or in urban areas, on man-made structures. It is loosely constructed out of straw into the shape of a dome with an entrance on the side.

A clutch consists of 4 – 6 glossy blue eggs, which are laid one every other day. The incubation usually starts after the third or fourth egg has been laid. The young hatch about 14 to 15 days later. The female broods the chicks for about two weeks, with the female staying at the nest during the night. The chicks are fed by both parents until they fledge about three weeks later. One instance of inter-specific feeding has been reported – where a Common Myna fed a young Asian Pied Starling.

I never get hungry while studying nor is mobile a distraction for me as food and tech exist in my life because of their necessity. My study table is right next to our french window and so the sound and view of these beautiful birds becomes my distraction. Pied Myna is just the start, stay tuned many more Birds coming up in this series of Bird WIse

Emotions are Offline

In a train journey during a college industrial visit I just popped a question to my friend

‘How did your relationship began? Who said it first?’

One friend’s answer lead to curiosity of another and a chain of questions and answers followed until almost the entire class got involved in the discussion.

‘It was just a plain text message’

‘He didn’t say it but sang a song so even I didn’t say it but replied through a song’

‘We said it together like the text messages reached exactly at the same time’

And so many more stories of the ultimate confession for a feeling for someone special in our teens were discussed. The thing I noticed was the first time feelings said were through texts, calls or in meet ups and later on whatsapp texts and fewer skyped. The way emotions got conveyed is so heavily influenced by the technology available.

The good old ways of writing letters, waiting in a line to connect a call on a public telephone booth, waiting for calls to connect on the landlines etcetera. I remember I wished to write and receive letters from my first love, we wrote and coordinated through phone to get it exchanged from my building’s letter box despising the entire purpose of wait for a letter yet maintaining the hand written expression of feelings. That is how difficult it gets to express feelings in the style of a different technological era.

However I feel the advancements in technologies has decreased part of emotions and feelings, now by swiping left and right you decide your date. Your heart hardly plays a role and your brain’s decision in few seconds tells you with whom to go out for. Yes over the years society evolves and lot of changes occur in the way relationships work but my problem is the speed. The speed at which one decides to date someone and break off with someone is making it difficult for the feelings to survive, fights over changing status after being in relation and even sharing passwords is a huge discussion when topics to talk should be intended to know and understand the other. The part of the virtual world in the relationship complicates the emotional aspect of it.

Recently the known television star committed suicide due to issues with her boyfriend, I remember a few years back a famous film actress do so for similar reasons. When emotions and feelings go offline and communicating relationship issues goes haywire such results are seen. For me the ultimate secret to have a healthy relation is to understand how to romance with time, the time you get with your loved one. To try and attempt to know the other person’s likes and dislikes in real life rather than the things of the virtual world. As much as the internet and the digital age eases ways to communicate it complicates ways of expressing oneself.

If we consider movies depicting the way the society is then I belong to the time of the movie Sirf Tum, a very rare unusual love story of being in love with someone without ever meeting them but falling in love with the letters exchanged. However hard one may try, this kind of love story is difficult to survive in this digital age. A movie I watched last night made me feel so, that this is the age of speedy relations where the two lead stars just fall in the love entirely got conveyed on social media and shows complications in surviving such relationship. Such movies make me feel like an alien to this age where I still like to write to convey what I feel, thanks to postcrossing.com that my faith in writing still exists. May be this exactly why for the last couple of months I have been writing letters for my friends on Birthdays, Farewells and have been unable to give it to them due to this detachment I am feeling inside me!

Overall I feel the virtual world living is decreasing the understanding of living in reality and is in a way complicating expression of emotions and feelings. For good or for bad only time and more advancements shall tell.

 

 

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