Funny Guy

About you funny guy
I am unable to decide
Whether I should come and express
Or let it be within me
Should I tell you
How I feel
Should I tell you
How you make me feel
About you funny guy
I am not sure
How you will react
To the volcanoes of emotions
To the thunder storm of feelings
To the flood of hormones
I feel
When I am around you
Funny guy
Do you have a single clue of this?
Slighest idea?
Tell me you do
Tell me you feel the same
Tell me you are as attracted to me as I am
Tell me, I am beautiful
Tell me, you care
I am sorry funny guy
I feel desperate
And it feels like a rebound
And so wrong in my head
To come and express to you
What I feel
As it is, telling someone what I feel is difficult
And in trivial matters as such
I feel I am not capable enough
I don’t feel I deserve you
But I definitely feel for you
And hope to tell you one day


I send in this poem, expressing what I felt.
I got a poem back as a response, stay tuned to read that!

BRO Quotes

It is like the drive up Nathu La

was listening to music,

while the drive down

understanding the lyrics.

As the ride took little pace

suddenly I saw a picture of my dad

yes, in my driver

it usually happens to me when

I speak to elderly men

The climate outside was getting cooler

As we drived up

But monsoon had began within

As my cheeks felt the showers

Each horrible memory of my childhood

Playing like a movie

It wasn’t Sanam my driver

It was his warm personality

Also he was too handsome to be my dad

Whenever I see a good elderly man

I think what if even a percent of this man my dad would be

So different each day of my childhood would be

 

Then suddenly a BRO Quote appears

“Tough times don’t last, tough people do”

So true I murmured under my breath

Sanam, was kind

He felt the vibe

He shared how he misses his small daughter

But this made my rain showers

Become silent thunder storms

Sanam didn’t know what went wrong

As I was already a bit low

But ‘missing’ the word only

Reminded me of my sister

How I wished to be there

At the airport, to wish her goodbye

To tell her, in one way or another

Intentionally or no

She did shape me into the person

I have turned out to be

but I am an awkward human

I know I wouldn’t have said so

If I was there, would have

Helped her and may be hugged her

And her behaviour would as ususal

Make me wish to stab her

Again a BRO Quote I read

“BRO it is never too late”

I wonder if it was to

Tell my sister what she means to me

Or to stab her

Smiling slightly I got down near a lake

Me and Sanam caught hands, had a quite walk

Without a single word

Just absorbing the beauty of the place

Silently, admist the touristy chaos

Just before I entered the jeep again

I saw a mother trying to save her small kid

From the cold, she held him inside her own jacket

I tried to see her till the last moment

The climate changed outside

As the clouds started covering the roads

So did the stormy clouds cover my heart

And heavy rains made my only tutle neck sweater wet

First time in the ride my crying made a sound

However I am too good making it feel

Like a cough & nose cleaning sound

How could I let her be alone

In a moment I knew she would need me the most

Dad is never there when needed

Grandma had left us abrubtly

Neha had to leave

How could I have been so selfish

And come for this IV?

 

 

 

I read a BRO Quote again

“BRO look on the bright side”

For the first time ever

I smiled in the middle of tears

Yes I thought

Wasn’t it all worth it

To be here, in the middle of clouds

And with these people #onelasttime

Meeting so many people

Formally and on the roads

I had consoled myself

As we almost reached Gangtok

When again a BRO Quote appeared

“BRO you live only once”

As if summing up my entire

Emotional Turmoil in the drive down

 

Sanam and BRO Quotes became my new BROs

I am not sure of meeting these BROs again

But they have given me a lesson

I will rewind again and again

 

Do It Right

I got to finally blogging every week, maintained a travel book, a monthly planner, an ideation book, read many books, drew few doodles/drawings and wrote poems for Insta posts. In one sentence, this is my entire 2017.

I didn’t write poetry until Jan last year. There was a certain amount of fear I had about poetry especially looking at the way it has all expanded over the internet. It scared me. Like a big canvas.

I realized, when you first start drawing in school you start from a small book and not on a canvas. That’s exactly what I did with my poetry.

I started with whatever images I had and started writing poetry on each. Over the year I gained courage and wrote few poems on various pictures I clicked during my travels and made sure I pushed myself to post it on my Insta profile.

I felt similar fear with doodling too. Doodling on A4 page scared me. When I cut it into four parts I doodled with confidence and results looked good too. Also, I realized I doodle or draw more when I need clarity of thoughts. I observed that after a bit of drawing, doodling I was able to pen down thoughts fluently.

Chaos in my mind is a common thing as I am one of them who over thinks too. So I always keep with me few small white papers and loads of stationary for safety.

IMG_20180107_135024162
Some doodling/drawing from last year which managed to look good

Untill last year I would read one book in like 2-3 months. I would always want to read more but never would end up doing so. I tried to figure out why this was happening. I never read anything on weekends and during big trips. The only time I read sincerely was daily in local trains.

So I tricked myself and kept two books in my bag. I read one while going to work and other on my way back. In a span of a month, I finished both. I have decided to keep this habit going and continue reading more this year around.

One of the biggest achievement last year personally was being able to write my blog every week. And this I would completely credit to the other big change in my life, my first job.

Being at work 5 days of the week made me realize the importance of spending time on something I love to do. The thought of losing the core of my being due to a job terrified me and hence I kept writing every week.

As a reflex reaction to calm my body, I traveled. I have said it before and I say it again, travelling in a way is my therapy, a way I heal myself. And therefore a huge part of me is inclined towards it. I know come what may, I’ll be travelling various places this year around too.


To do it right, to achieve what you want I suggest figure out your body clock. I am a morning person and I end up ideating and being more productive in the morning. Figure this out, it will ease the process of achieving what you want.

Figure out how you function, tap your own habits. Like how I figured when I read the most and when I didn’t. Analyse yourself and try to absorb your natural behaviour into the tasks you wish to do.

At the end of the day, only you can help your boat sail. Making resolutions is merely saying it. I would suggest don’t say, make your boat sail through it, do it and do it right.

I have penned down here how I managed to do it right, I hope it inspires you to have a more productive year. All the best!


My last week of the year was beautiful in Ranthambore, Rajasthan.
A post on the travel coming up soon. Until then, my insta (@nishanavgire)
will have pictures from the trip with poems of course!

When I met Salma

Her smile tried to hide the evident pain in her eyes. While adding sugar to her coffee she said ‘I was fighting for his daughter’s education but he tried to kill me twice.’ She talked about her other hardships with the same ease. Did she become numb to her problems or speaking about them with this ease made it less painful?

As I wondered topic changed and we talked about our beautiful college structure and the recent trip to Sikkim we had. Suddenly there was happiness in her eyes as she spoke of her trip to Assam. She showed pictures from her phone and shared her experience. The sorrow redeemed her eyes as she plainly said how she regrets for not being able to study in a proper college with the constant nervous smile on her face.

She further spoke about the education of her sons, what they are pursuing etc. However, sons are not so much into her literature side. In this moment it was difficult to read her eyes, she looked glad and a bit taken back at the same time. She said they are proud of her work but don’t really sit back and read it all. None of these emotions held her smile back.

As I had written about her mother after watching the documentary, with lot of courage I asked Salma about the bond she shares with her mother. She answered with ease that there is lot of love, only that mother is still very innocent. She said her mother doesn’t understand human rights etc, she still lives in a small world. Till date my mother eats only after my father has food. I cannot blame her, it’s the way she is brought up, it’s the way maximum of the girls there think.

I further asked how she is so different. How did her idea of life change? She immediately replied, ‘it’s because of what I read’. I read a lot and understood things about the world, not everyone there in my village got such understanding.

Salma is a strong woman with an amazing emotional intelligence. She managed to be warm to us in spite of the cold fountains within. Her eyes didn’t hide any emotions but her smile always won it at the end.

Read Salma’s poetry at www.poetsalma.com

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Baskerville 2 by Anders Noren.

Up ↑