It’s Never Enough!

“I was glad to see you, little good girl, God bless you, come every year, eat well now…” he caressed my head as I was sitting down to eat.

I looked up at him, smiled and nodded. I couldn’t utter a word as I felt so loved.

It was my friend’s dad, he did the entire hour-long aarti as many of us joined behind clapping. If you know me or have read a few of my posts, to see me standing at an hour-long aarti is a miracle.

Thanks to my cousin Sanish, who convinced me last year to witness this aarti, for an experience, to see how it is done. However, this year, I had to convince him to leave his team’s football match for this experience!

An hour of Ganesh pooja at this friend’s place is an experience I would like to go for every year, to observe all kinds of devotees. The one ahead, in full divine swing, one behind actually swinging and almost dancing, kids trying to adapt something, old ladies singing every word.

It is a very different world for that one hour, everyone is in a different mind frame but physically at the same place! For me, more than the aarti, uncle’s blessing words, decided to dwell and live in me.

My dad has never caressed my head or told me he was proud of something I did, blessed me or prayed for me. I crave for that kind of love. My friend’s dad perhaps said so and blessed many others present there, but for me that moment was everything.

That moment of love was a feeling of joy I perhaps can’t justify with words. When you feel it, it is never enough!

I am scared of horror movies. I can’t watch violence on the screen of any kind, too much blood and ghosts. It kills me. An irrational fear, I am trying to overcome.

I began watching bloodshed and violence to fight this fear. I watched, Gangs of Wasseypur both parts, Haider, and Sacred Games. Each helping me step up a ladder of being okay with violence.

I was worst hit with Haider, because I know that the violence in it wasn’t a fictional story. I know it is the reality of people. If there is only one Bollywood movie you will ever watch in your life, please make sure it is Haider.

After I felt I could manage violence on my plate, it was time to go for horror. All this violence I saw on my laptop, but I decided to go for horror on the big screen. Yes, I love challenging me.

The ghost of the movie did give me a few sleepless nights, but the experience in the theatre stayed with me longer. I kept clinging on to a friend, screaming and even became hot with fear.

My friend held me tight, spoke to me, snuggled me but it didn’t help much. I was shit scared and the fear didn’t dissolve. However, the care received in that little time was impeccable.

The little whispers, the light strokes on my hand, the constant concern, made me felt loved. It is rare to receive care in your worst moment.

To be loved when all you feel is panic and anxiety for facing your worst kind of fear. And when you do get it, it is never enough!

My cousin and I were on our way to the aarti and we got speaking about our next travel plan. He spoke about how he wishes his friend to not miss many treks. We discussed how we can’t really do much about his friend missing out on so much.

I could relate to this feeling because I have my favourite travel people too. It is only human to have favourites. But, my experience in my Nature Club camps has made me stronger.

My first camp, I went because I knew one person out of the entire group. On my second camp, I knew only two. On the third camp, there was no one, I still went for it and kept going irrespective of who could or couldn’t make it.

I believe, when you travel with someone, you connect to them on levels perhaps you normally wouldn’t. And when you find that bond, that connection, it is hard to let go. You wish to spend more time, knowing someone, exploring the place with that particular people.

With nature club today, I bond with so many people and each bond is so special in its own way. In my trek group too, I have my favourites and I cherish all these people.

I am overjoyed when all my people are present on the same trip. It sucks the same when they don’t make it. This is exactly what my cousin was feeling.

He has also felt the bond, the connection with his friend, he wants to trek and travel with this friend. He wants his friend to explore more and experience all the fun. I could relate to it when you feel this bond with someone, it is never enough!

Why is it never enough? Because who doesn’t like being loved? Who doesn’t like being taken care of? Who doesn’t wish to share a strong bond?

When we receive something, we want more of it. We expect everything in the universe to fall in place for us to have that one feeling. And, that is where we go wrong.

I believe, true bliss is in the ability to let go and not expect. To be happy when you receive and not crave for when you don’t. This is difficult and so is the ultimate feeling of peace.

We all crave for something, a special someone’s love, a mom’s hug, a dad’s smile, a friend’s company. We are all humans when we have such expectations and sometimes irrational wants. It is okay to feel so, but it isn’t okay to let this feeling affect anything else in our life.

I know someone who ruined her life because she didn’t receive the same amount of love from someone with whom she was for more than seven years. I have so many people on my Instagram and Facebook, perfect examples of bad parenting and broken families and how they are ruining their life in crave of that little love at home.

The sorrow might not be the same for all but they have one cause in common, expectation. It is so very hard to not expect. To not crave for love. It is only human to feel the need to be loved and feel extremely low when you don’t.

This struggle is real, in its smallest form and on the biggest level. But hopefully, we are able to raise ourselves above it and witness the true bliss.

I am not saying it is easy but is possible. I do not believe in heaven so much, but sure know we can feel peace right here on earth. If you feel this kind of bliss, dm me about it on Insta @nisha_navgire

September 23, 2018

Siddhagadh Photo Story

After summers, the first monsoon trek is the most awaited thing. It wasn’t even a week I was back from Spiti and I was going back to the mountains, I was excited. To my delight, we were going to have a bike ride to the base village of Siddhagadh. I couldn’t be happier, as I believe monsoon and bike rides are just made for each other!

PhotoGrid_1531197474659 — An epiphyte is when a plant grows on another tree or plant. We noticed this tree with two different kinds of leaves on our way and it could be an epiphyte.

One can go Siddhagadh via Narivalli village and from there it is the highest fort climb in Maharashtra. But we took another way through Jamburdhe village which cuts around an hour’s climb.

We parked our vehicles and just before we began to walk, we noticed this old well. Such sources of water on and around the forts in Maharashtra is common. My eyes were pleased to see some purple flowers adding to the green colour scheme around. For the first time, I saw houses with a block that had the year written on it. My friends said it is the year these houses were made but I am not sure of this.

As we were walking we found this two things. The one on the left is microbial in origin. It could be slimy fungal species or a slime layer produced by some bacterial species. The one on the right is a common mushroom one can find on monsoon treks in the Shyadris.

We reached the caves. We took pictures and left. Later, we noticed the Ganpati on the bottom right corner of this image.

There are a few difficult rock patches and if you are new to Sahyadris, kindly be more careful. I and a new friend who also searched the slimy bacteria for me were having fun as we climbed together.

There is a ‘nandi’ and ‘shivling’ at the top of the fort. But they weren’t placed together as they should be as seen in temples. We were waiting for a few and it began to rain heavily with strong breeze too. I was so happy, I sang and danced until all arrived.

After exploring the fort, we took a different way down and came across a beautiful old door. We walked past it and reached a temple. It had ‘shivlings’ and ‘nandis’ found around the place kept together. There was also a broken ‘tof’ kept ourside the temple.

There were also this stone structures called ‘virghals’ kept around the temple. These structures are found around many forts in Maharashtra. They depict the history of the maker of the fort.

Saw this colourful leaves just before we reached back to our vehicles.

The walk down got more slippery but it was worth it. We had some hot tea before we began our ride back home. I can surely count this trek as one of my favourite monsoon trek experiences.

July 10, 2018

Valley of Vigor

‘I kept my bag aside, laid back on a rock, closed my eyes and heard only the stream on my left. In the shade of a huge rock and a little breeze from trees I couldn’t see, I spent a few moments with just the sound of the stream echoing the happiness in my soul.’

We will come to this beautiful moment soon which occurred during my recent adventure to Sandhan Valley. It is located in Igatpuri region of Maharashtra. Unlike my other trek experiences so far in Maharashtra this one was very different in many ways. Basic being that it isn’t a climb, it is only descending in the valley of shadows, and yes that’s what it is called.

My usual trek partner cousin – Sanish, wasn’t free this weekend when this trip was planned. In my head I knew I wouldn’t go without him, though my mom thought it was stupid to think so, I knew I wouldn’t go. He had some work pressure which I was well aware of and hence full week I had spent time to convince my mind that I won’t be travelling this weekend.

And then in the afternoon of the night we were supposed to leave I tried my luck and called him for a final yes or no and to my utter disbelief he said yes, yes he can make it! There was no bound to my joy as I was being blessed with a travel I had convinced myself of missing out!

I could see how tensed Sanish was though he tried his best to hide it. I knew what all was at stake for this trek to happen. I somehow wanted to fast forward the night and get to the time we start walking in the wild because I know nothing bothers us both once nature elopes us.

Next morning after breakfast we started the trek. If anything like what they call paradise exists then the first part of Sandhan Valley is how I feel the entrance of this paradise would look like. Holding us tight from both sides are huge rock structures, stone path in the middle with a few trees and the soothing stream waving at us every now and then.

Since I was ahead in the group I got time to search my spot and relax. Twice I found the perfect place to just sit back and look at the mountains. First, it was me and Sanish, where we lied down on a flat rock and looked up at the beauty of the huge rocks above us. And the second one was when I found a rock cut like a small chair for me to completely relax with my legs up.

We walked and reached a water patch where there was no way but to walk through the water. And so the whole team work begins. Everyone packs shoes and makes a trail to pass bags.

There were tall guys in our group who went in the water and it reached their hip. I thought I will be swimming this through or since I don’t know how to swim, perhaps just drown! I wasn’t of any use in the whole passing the bag trail thanks to my height. But there was water in front of me, I couldn’t resist and I stepped in.

The water was above my chest. I got some grip on my legs and stood still. The water felt cold and I looked up. The huge rock mountains on both sides made a curve. It felt like looking in a mirror as they reflected my smile.

This bag task was almost done, after a while we all wore our shoes and began to walk again. We then reached the patch where we had to rappel down. This time around, the rappelling was very different.

Unlike how I could see the end of my rappel in AMK and in Bhairavgadh (Moroshi), here I couldn’t. There was a curve to the rock. And to my surprise, perhaps because I was happy high with the water patch I rappelled at ease and with speed. Sometimes your body surprises you and it’s a beautiful feeling!

After being overjoyed with two unique experiences it was time to calm down and this is when I relaxed beside the stream. Post which we had lunch and began to walk down again. There were a few difficult rock patches where we had to do the same ‘pass the bag first and then go down’ game but we did it all quick and had only to walk until we reached the village.

IMG_20180421_134737477_TOP — **Nilesh** and his friends helped us find our way down. Sadly expected money from us in return though we provided food. This gave me reassurance about the Masters I have enrolled myself into and the work I wish to do in future. Hopefully I help make some difference to our society.

We reached around 7 pm and there was quite some time before we all dozed off. I was missing my usual talkative buddy with whom such a situation would be ideal to talk our hearts out. I felt silly now that I didn’t make enough efforts to talk the people I was with. But none the less I learned something new.

I learned how to marinate chicken. Since my mom doesn’t cook non vegetarian food, I took this as an opportunity and I am so happy I didn’t really goof it up much. I hope I try it once before the memory of learning how to do it washes off.

Next morning as planned we got up, sipped some tea and got into our vehicles to Asangaon station. The ride was about singing all bad songs with silly lyrics one could think of. It was one hilarious ride. And like all good treks that end with food, this one did too. We hadn’t had breakfast, so this one ended with hot and spicy Samosas!

I haven’t mentioned it much but I did miss more than a few people.
This has made me realize that I should have a post with profiles of people I trek with.

Stay tuned to get introduced to all my amazing trek mates.
Also don’t forget to check Insta @nisha_navgire for pics with poems on this trek!

April 28, 2018

A Tantalizing Trek Tale

I love bike rides. It has a different charm. I and my usual bike partner cousin were on a roll as we sang through the whole drive. From Sukhvinder’s “Oh ho oh ho” to “O mere dil k chein” our playlist had a smooth ride with our bullet.

We finally parked our bikes at 4am and were given an hour before we left for the trek. Almost all as expected dozed off. I looked at my friend and in a blink we knew what we were up to next.

We both did our own bit of research and found the best place to lie down and star gaze. The view was mesmerizing. It was last in October that we star gazed. We both have less understanding of the stars but same awe for their existence.

Eyes up at the sky, mind drowned in thoughts, without realizing I went into the world of stars. What a beautiful nap and dream it was !

It was dark, we all had torches and a few were ahead leading the way. As we walked a bit ahead we spotted a Night Jar. It looked stunning. A musical night bike ride, soulful star gazing with a nap and then the Night Jar, this trek surely had the best start!

The kind of trekking I have done and the average experience of the group I go with is quite good. We use harness and equipment only when it is really essential. Bhairavgadh (Maroshi) is one where we decided we will use it and hence a suggestion to anyone who is reading this and would wish to go, kindly take all safety measurements.

There were two people ahead who climbed the harness part. When I reached I couldn’t find them. I thought they must have gone ahead so I climbed all the steps and reached the top. I shouted their names but no avail. I was scared for minute.

People down said they have come up. There is no other way than these stairs, where have they gone then? I didn’t wish to go right at the top of the fort all alone so I climbed back down.

I saw that my group still hadn’t got all members up the harness. I decided to walk up again and find my two mates. I climbed up the stairs again, shouted their names but couldn’t locate them. More scared than before I climbed down again to get someone with me to find them.

I and a friend climbed up again and finally met the two. We saw the top most part of the fort and four of us began our journey down. As we did our entire group was up by the harness. We four were asked to climb up again for a group picture at the top of the fort. We hesitated a bit and then finally gave in.

This is my first ever trek saga where I got bored of a fort. Not because it was boring, because I climbed it a total of four times. However, the time spend at the top of the fort was worth it. And no don’t get me wrong, the fort is not at all boring. It is full of adventure and the scenic view is class but just make sure you climb up only once!

When I was waiting for my turn to rappel it down, the sun was right above my head and I was sweating like a pig. I had bought all my sun protection things, caps, glares, scarfs etc. It all lay in my bag down which I could reach only after rappelling. And there were a few people who were yet to go down before it were my chance.

Melting in the heat I realized that how we all have the necessary resources to face a storm in life. But it is locked up in the depths of our hearts and by the time we find it we have lost it to the storm. Let us therefore always be prepared for a storm and never let it win over us.

For me personally climbing up a mountain is easy as compared to walking down. This is because when I am climbing up, it is all up to me where I set my feet to head up. When I have to get down, it is not so easy. And this becomes a tad more difficult when I have to rappel it down.

The first step is the most difficult. And during rappelling especially for the first step my feet felt heavier than an elephant! I let go of this stupid feet thoughts and imagining why my feet is feeling heavy and rappelled down. And to my own surprise I did well.

Almost all of us were exhausted and so were our water resources. To our surprise an old man appeared out of nowhere guided us to a water body and disappeared again. Lord works in his own way and this old man proved that to me.

We all drank water to our hearts’ content and filled bottles before we left. We had lunch in the middle of the jungle and started to walk down. I wished to reach our bikes before the heat killed me and walked down as swiftly as I could.

I and two of my friends reached down without taking many water or shade stops and hence reached a good 45mins before the rest. This made me regain the lost energy. I was happy with the whole trek and didn’t expect much more but life is about surprises. And a kala-khatta gola in the crazy heat ended my thrilling trek on a high note!

March 31, 2018

A trip of Faith

I was stuck on a small patch with hardly some grip and a group of thorn shrubs, trying to find my way up. Three people crossed me, I tried to follow but just couldn’t. I felt stuck with three people ahead, rest too behind to help. What next?

A fourth person came by, I followed him, figured my way to top, and oh my, it was all so worth it! I could see layers of mountains before me romancing with clouds. The breeze welcomed me to their world and within moments I was lost! I poured my heart out in that moment, hoping that the mountains would listen, understand and help. Aha before that, time for a two-day flashback.

The first long weekend of the year was planned. Thursday night to Sunday night, all set to cover the Balgan Range in Maharashtra. I came home from work and within an hour left for the big trip ahead of me, and of course felt I didn’t pack properly.

We took a train to Kasara and had a 4-5 hour night ride to the base village of the first fort in plan-Nhavigadh. Hardly a few slept in train and everyone tried to sleep in the vehicle to the base village, I still wonder how many succeeded to get some sleep.

Outside the window I could see the moonlight shining on the fields though I couldn’t see the moon. There were thoughts about the day, my work, home, decisions about education I need to take etc. My head going in pace with the vehicle, I tried to sing along the songs but it didn’t work, my mind just loves creating chaos. This is when I realized, I hadn’t packed properly, I didn’t pack myself.

We were 14 people cramped up in a vehicle for 12 I suppose, so when we finally reached the base village Nhavigadh, we all did some stretches. But normal stretching is so bore, I instead had a race with my cousin, it was so refreshing, I finally packed myself, out of my chaotic mind, into a few days of just nothing, but me, the places I was going to and the people I was with!

Finally the climb of the first fort began, and the sun decided to rise up with us and bless us as if wishing us luck for the entire trip ahead. Wherever we were, we all sat down in awe.

No one amongst us had been to the fort and hence finding a way to the top was a task. A few went up, tried to find a way but couldn’t. A friend ahead of me said, we could try a route he could see ahead, I said let’s try and we did, we found the right way! A yay moment for me as I am pathetic with directions & everything in geography that way, but this changed in the course of the trip!

We hoisted the national flag on this fort as we do always when we trek on national holidays and began to head down. We had some amaze chai from a local house and headed to the next forts in plan.

We barely had some breakfast and took some cucumbers and other fruits to carry as we started the climb of Mangi-Tungi. Both are nothing but caves with jain structures carved in them. This place gives the feel of a typical tourist spot, with chitter-chatter and trash all over.

I was walking with a friend and talking about how there are two parallel worlds we are living in, one where we are reaching the best of technology and the other where we are simply destroying the way nature has always been.

I hadn’t even finished saying my entire thought when a monkey came by and snatched the fruits out of my friend’s hand. This took me back to when I saw the langoors ruling the Ranthambore fort. What are we doing to the wild? Where are we heading? This thought still makes me numb.

There were about more than thousand steps to the top and from there another 300 something to Tungi and over a 200 on the other side to Manghi. Whoever decided to not let the climb to these two places be naturally through the mountains as with other forts in Maharashtra and create these steps and make it touristy, thank you, you ruined a beautiful mountain and probably its soul will come and haunt you. When we reached the top, I saw newly made structures kept in front of the old carvings, this to me felt like flowers on the tomb of the dead mountain.

When we finally came down, I was hungry but my wish to eat had died. I didn’t feel too good about the experience. But as the good old saying said by nobody goes, ‘a dog can change your mood’ is true! I met a cute doggo and it all got undone.

We went to the base village Mulher, of the next forts in plan and climbed up half way to stay in a temple. People from the group cooked some amaze dinner as I slept through the whole process, woke up only to enjoy the pulao with some pickle. Next day morning, we got up, had our “pahado-wali-maggi” and left for the big day ahead.

This trip I didn’t carry my camera because I had a terrible pain in my left shoulder. I didn’t wish to make my camera a burden for someone else to carry. A decision I still can’t make peace with.This decision caused me a lot of frames, as they will now be only in my mind.

I did manage to capture a few from my phone and few in the phones of people I walked ahead with. The only positive part of this decision was I felt I lived in the moment, helped finding ways, more than I do usually when I trip with camera and phone on me.

We figured our way to Hargadh with a lot of trial and error. I had wild flowers on my head for company throughout, the time spent in the shades and the frequent embrace of the breeze made the journey magical. We took our group picture with the huge canon on the fort, saw the massive view of the mountains and moved to the next fort in plan, Muler.

Now the heat was creating hindrance in the climb but we managed to reach Muler as the way wasn’t as tough as the previous fort. We had lunch and explored the fort. We completed Muler and left for Mora immediately. The map below shall help you figure this out.

I was ahead most of the time with a few people for company. And as the two forts done in the day were tiresome the speed of the group had slowed down. This to my advantage gave me some time with the mountains just below the base of Mora fort.

I began to pour my heart out and felt like I was being heard. The mountain responded with the help of breeze and the swifts trying to fly. I decided I won’t climb up Mora and be here with the mountains for a while. My cousin convinced me otherwise and I began climbing with him.

When we reached the top, the sun decided to bless us again, this time it showed in slo-mo how it goes down. This was one of the best sunsets I ever saw. It felt like I ticked off from my bucket list in one trip, the best sunrise and sunset!

We got down from Mora fort and reached the base village Saler of next forts in plan, Saler and Salota. We ate breakfast and left early as planned. I had ignored my shoulder pain all this while but it was the third continuous trek day and now my shoulder said it couldn’t take anymore.

There was no moving back, there was no other way, I told my shoulder to take in one more day and then no more. The conversation with my shoulder ended abruptly as my mind had a new thing to focus on, to get out of the no grip with only shrubs around situation.

When I got out of the place I was stuck, I went up and lied down for a while begging my shoulder to shut up, it kept saying give up give up and I kept ignoring. I finally was woken up by a really strong breeze as if sent by the mountains to wake me up.

The mountains said, the no grip-shrubs around situation you were stuck in, is just like you in your life right now. There are successful people ahead of you and there are people way behind as well. You took one leap of faith and you reached here to converse with me. That’s all you need to do, have faith, and take a leap of faith.

I received the answer I was looking for during my Ranthambore trip. Within a few days after this trip I put down papers at my job and enrolled myself in a course I always wished to do. A leap of faith taken, what lies ahead, time alone shall tell.

I was happy high the rest of the climb to Salota and Saler. I sang and danced to the mountains to thank them the entire day. The two songs on repeat were “Aas Paas Hai Khuda” and “Tu hai Aasma Mai”

When I saw a new trekker with us reach Saler, the last fort in plan, I felt motivated. It made me realize, that this trip was all about faith. She had faith and she did it. At Saler, the highest fort in Maharashtra, the clutter in my find finally cleared.

As always, I didn’t wish to leave the mountains, with a heavy heart and happy mind I trekked down. We reached back to Kalyan in time as planned and a beautiful trip ended with some tasty chicken and chapatis.

I hope this blog inspires you to travel and makes you believe in the power of nature.
I am planning to have a solo trip this year, to explore more facets of me & my bond with nature , if you have any suggestions, find me on Insta @nishanavgire !

February 3, 2018

My First Trek

My first big college trip to Malvan in Oct 2015 moulded me in many ways. It gave birth to this blog and planted a seed of travelling within. This trip made me revisit my vague childhood trekking memories.

The same year in December my cousin asked me if I wished to go the highest peak in Maharashtra. Kalsubai which is located at an elevation of 1646m is a soothing winter trek. When my cousin added that the travel would be on bike, I agreed to go without realizing what I had got myself into.

The forts in Malvan were sea forts and didn’t have much of climbing. The trek to Daulatabad was a blurry image. This was my first proper trek after ages. My excitement and happiness had no bounds. The night before I packed my back as told, twisted and twirled somehow to sleep. We left early morning but soon my excitement came to a halt.

The tyre of our bike got punctured with a big nail within an hour of the ride. I and my cousin somehow managed to fix it at a garage and reached a bit late to the breakfast stop we were supposed to meet everyone. We ate and began the ride again. I was quiet and praying the rest of the way sitting behind my cousin.

‘Will she do it? Has she trekked before? She will complete it surely?’ These and many other questions were asked to my cousin. He wasn’t sure of the answers either yet he managed to say to his friends

‘Yes, she will do it. You’ll do not worry’

His confidence in me gave me a different boost to do this trek and to do it well. Five of us began climbing. After half hour two of his friends dropped out due to unavoidable reasons. Now, it was just me, my cousin and one of his friends.

I saw the peak and was charged to reach it. The structure of Kalsubai is such that you can see the peak the entire time while climbing but reaching it takes time. It’s almost like it trolls you. You feel you have reached when it says, hell you are near, climb more.

After being trolled at least thrice we finally reached the peak. I felt I had beaten all the odds that held me back. I had not thought if my being around made anything awkward for my cousin, I challenged myself physically and did what my heart said that day. I was celebrating this new found serenity within at the top of Maharashtra.

The climb down was easy physically but difficult in my mind. I didn’t wish to let go the feeling of being with the clouds, the mountain, the chirping birds, and the trees. We ate our tiffin as we got down and in a while began the ride back home.

_DSC1150 — As the bike began I saw the peak going far and I started to sing *‘Ae sala, abhi abhi hua yakeen, k aag hai mujh mai kahi…’* **My cousin** joined in as we sang this full song.

In a span of few songs we reached home. From then, bike ride and singing with him is the thing I look for in every trek. I am glad that I took this decision two years back to go on this trek. I let go off the stupid thoughts that held me back and discovered a side of me that I am still exploring.

Life is an adventure to be unraveled each day. Try to explore each shade of you, places and people around. It is an adventure but doesn’t last too long so make the most when you can!

October 1, 2017

My First Snow Trek

I had many beautiful experiences this summer. I have learned double fold from each experience. Brighu Lake Trek which I did in May 2017 with Wilson College Nature Club was one such experience.

Brighu Lake in Kullu district of Himachal Pradesh has an elevation of 4300 meters (14,100ft). It is said to be named after Maharishi Brighu, one of the seven great sages. The lake is to the east of Rohtang Pass and Gulaba is the nearest village.

We walked to first base camp on first day, then to the second the next day. On the third day we did Brighu and came back to our first base camp. Doing this trek in three days as planned was an achievement for the group as well as a mental and physical success for me.

YUVI — ‘Little motivation goes a long way’

I and a few others walked ahead almost the entire two days when we climbed to the first and the second base camp. It was green, there were streams, and everything was serene. The guide who was with us, Yuvraj gave me a tag line. ‘Chhota(small) height, big fight’ as I look small but kept walking ahead without expecting breaks instead helping him guide all.

He noticed the evident fear on my face on the day of Brighu climb and kept saying that even if I wish to, my shoes won’t let me fall. My shoe grip was perfect for this trek. My face still had fear written all over it.

‘Junko Tabei, from Japan is the first women to climb Everest and also the first women to climb the highest peak on each continent. You look small like her only. You can be her, common Junko, kare le(do it)’ I smiled and kept walking. This motivation helped me in the most difficult part of the trek.

On the third day when we began climbing Brighu I began with confidence but soon fear overruled. Trekking on snow made me face my biggest fear-death.

I do trek otherwise on mountains around Maharashtra and so was confident. But, soon realised the confidence trekking in Maharashtra came from the fact that if I slip from a mountain, I might fall in place, or roll down and break a bone but won’t die. Slipping in snow can cause death for sure as no one knows where or when I’ll stop.

I was in the middle of the climb when I slipped on melted ice. ‘Aah, I am slipping, I’ll die, help, help, help’ I almost cried howling. I could see white death bed to the left side where I was slipping. I panicked.

‘It’s all in your head, the fear and the confidence.’

Mustafa (centre) who was ahead came rushing in. ‘I can’t move, I’ll slip, I’ll fall, there is melted ice everywhere, where do I get grip’ I said, still howling.

‘Just move your rambler stick a bit ahead and take a big step towards my leg, that’s it, I have caught you, don’t panic’ he said. It wasn’t easy but I did as he said. I dodged the white dead bed. I faced the fear, I survived. I walked further and reached the best part of it all.

Now the white death bed to my left and become a slide front of me0l. We had to move in the same direction as the slope, so we glided. I realised the difference between slipping and sliding. Since, I was ahead I had the fun slide twice. Now, the confidence overruled.

‘I’ll take the rest and start moving down. You guys reach the summit and head back soon.’ Anish Cheta (photo credit Sandesh Lad) said when Brighu was hardly few minutes away.

‘It will take hardly some time; don’t miss it after coming so close to it.’ Yuvraj our guide said as we all echoed him.

‘I have seen the lake the last time I had come here. Sir has asked me to do the right thing for the group. By the time you guys come I’ll take who are tired and can’t make it ahead half way down. It will save time’

We walked ahead. I think only half the number we began with, reached Brighu Lake. Some couldn’t do because of their shoes, some because of their fears. I saw the lake, it was beautiful. I couldn’t believe I made it. The lake was frozen but my eyes had water flowing. I felt blessed at the moment but there was a bigger lesson in store as we walked down.

There was a flashback of my climb to the first base camp till the last step reaching Brighu Lake playing in my head. I realized how selfish I had been. I enjoyed the breeze, the stream and felt serene while there were people struggling the entire time. And Cheta(means elder brother) let all the efforts taken to reach Brighu let go when it was hardly a while away, for the group.

I felt horrible. I decided to change this. I saw a girl struggling right ahead of me. I took it upon me that I’ll get her safely down. I decided to use my new found confidence and learning into practice. I tried to motivate her and helped her, the entire snow walk down. When we reached the first base camp, I felt better, at peace, grown as a person from within.

Brighu Lake will always be special for me as my first snow trek. I have definitely learned double fold from this single trek, in my entire trip to Manali.

September 16, 2017