Tag: truth

Funny Guy

About you funny guy
I am unable to decide
Whether I should come and express
Or let it be within me
Should I tell you
How I feel
Should I tell you
How you make me feel
About you funny guy
I am not sure
How you will react
To the volcanoes of emotions
To the thunder storm of feelings
To the flood of hormones
I feel
When I am around you
Funny guy
Do you have a single clue of this?
Slighest idea?
Tell me you do
Tell me you feel the same
Tell me you are as attracted to me as I am
Tell me, I am beautiful
Tell me, you care
I am sorry funny guy
I feel desperate
And it feels like a rebound
And so wrong in my head
To come and express to you
What I feel
As it is, telling someone what I feel is difficult
And in trivial matters as such
I feel I am not capable enough
I don’t feel I deserve you
But I definitely feel for you
And hope to tell you one day

I send in this poem, expressing what I felt.
I got a poem back as a response, stay tuned to read that!

BRO Quotes

It is like the drive up Nathu La

was listening to music,

while the drive down

understanding the lyrics.

As the ride took little pace

suddenly I saw a picture of my dad

yes, in my driver

it usually happens to me when

I speak to elderly men

The climate outside was getting cooler

As we drived up

But monsoon had began within

As my cheeks felt the showers

Each horrible memory of my childhood

Playing like a movie

It wasn’t Sanam my driver

It was his warm personality

Also he was too handsome to be my dad

Whenever I see a good elderly man

I think what if even a percent of this man my dad would be

So different each day of my childhood would be

 

Then suddenly a BRO Quote appears

“Tough times don’t last, tough people do”

So true I murmured under my breath

Sanam, was kind

He felt the vibe

He shared how he misses his small daughter

But this made my rain showers

Become silent thunder storms

Sanam didn’t know what went wrong

As I was already a bit low

But ‘missing’ the word only

Reminded me of my sister

How I wished to be there

At the airport, to wish her goodbye

To tell her, in one way or another

Intentionally or no

She did shape me into the person

I have turned out to be

but I am an awkward human

I know I wouldn’t have said so

If I was there, would have

Helped her and may be hugged her

And her behaviour would as ususal

Make me wish to stab her

Again a BRO Quote I read

“BRO it is never too late”

I wonder if it was to

Tell my sister what she means to me

Or to stab her

Smiling slightly I got down near a lake

Me and Sanam caught hands, had a quite walk

Without a single word

Just absorbing the beauty of the place

Silently, admist the touristy chaos

Just before I entered the jeep again

I saw a mother trying to save her small kid

From the cold, she held him inside her own jacket

I tried to see her till the last moment

The climate changed outside

As the clouds started covering the roads

So did the stormy clouds cover my heart

And heavy rains made my only tutle neck sweater wet

First time in the ride my crying made a sound

However I am too good making it feel

Like a cough & nose cleaning sound

How could I let her be alone

In a moment I knew she would need me the most

Dad is never there when needed

Grandma had left us abrubtly

Neha had to leave

How could I have been so selfish

And come for this IV?

 

 

 

I read a BRO Quote again

“BRO look on the bright side”

For the first time ever

I smiled in the middle of tears

Yes I thought

Wasn’t it all worth it

To be here, in the middle of clouds

And with these people #onelasttime

Meeting so many people

Formally and on the roads

I had consoled myself

As we almost reached Gangtok

When again a BRO Quote appeared

“BRO you live only once”

As if summing up my entire

Emotional Turmoil in the drive down

 

Sanam and BRO Quotes became my new BROs

I am not sure of meeting these BROs again

But they have given me a lesson

I will rewind again and again

 

The Balance – II

‘What’s your name?’

‘Nisha’

‘What’s your full name’

‘Nisha Navgire’

‘Okay, so what are you?’

This question expects a certain answer, and if it doesn’t receive it, there are high chances of the person asking it being offended. And I can definitely have a degree at offending people in this context as my answers usually don’t fit in what is expected.

And this is precisely why I avoid all social gatherings. These gatherings are highly important to my mom. An example can be the wedding of x person who is related to me in a chain which is perhaps more complicated than the political situation in this country.

The situation above is a tiny glimpse of the kind of social pressure to be boxed into a religion. If not what you believe in, the thing that satisfies such questions is what were you born into. But, if I don’t believe in the religion I was born into, what’s the point of telling it?

I believe there has to be a space, where in a person can speak up and say, I don’t understand my or any religion and I don’t wish to either. A person anywhere around this world should be given a choice to know, understand, learn and grow in a religion he or she wants to.

Twenty two or sixty two, it’s okay to not know what your religion is, what faith you belong to. I didn’t for the longest and I am still not sure if I do. It is really fine.

Just as education in this country which is ‘take it all in and please vomit it in exam’ religion is too. It is ‘take it all in from the time you are born and vomit it all over till you die.’ I envy the very few friends I know who were part of families where they could question, understand, learn and grow into the religion they were born into.

These guys are the most sorted as they completely understand what they believe in and why and also have total understanding of the ‘co-existence of various religions.’

I was only born into a religion, the latter part of knowing, understanding didn’t really happen. I was supposed to figure it out myself. I began my quest to find the ‘perfect’ religion to imbibe. Only to realize such a thing doesn’t exist.

Over twenty something years on this planet I realized there is no perfect religion as each has been at the end made by a human. And no human can be perfect, there has to be loop holes. After I figured this, I decided to take the good out of each religion I come across, over the years I live.

But the next question is does God exist? If religion at its base is made by humans, is God fictional to human minds or a reality known to few? This is where for me the word, balance comes into play.

You can be completely from the side of science and might deny the existence of God, or believe in its existence from all your heart and soul, but if you are neither, if you have related to the text above these two paragraphs then balance is the word for you.

In the flowing river, in the steady mountains, in the crawling clouds, in the flying birds, in the tiniest insect and the biggest mammal, in each of these and much more that I have witnessed of nature, is where for me God dwells in.

So for me there exists God, but I still am not sure of my religion. And question here really is why, why does one need a religion? There can be many answers to it, a general one I wish to consider here is for humans to live in a fashion which helps them last on this planet for long and in harmony.

If the above has to be considered as a base, I believe I have found my religion. My God is dwelling in nature. Main motto of my religion is humanity. And for humans to live longer on this planet, protecting it the way it has always been.

This all can make sense to you or not, point for this explanation of my frame on this subject if for you to grasp balance in this situation. Is for you to understand that in a society where on basis of religion there is violence and ever increasing intolerance I wish for you to have balance. A balance of understanding what your faith is (if there is) and what you behave in the name of this faith.

So what are you? What do you believe in?
Let’s share ideas on this, DM me on Instagram @nishanavgire

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flashback – Travel’17

I am grateful that 2017 has proved to be a year full of beautiful experiences. A year where I managed to have 12 trips-some for a day, some for two and 2-3 trips of more than a week. During each trip I had experiences adding different shades to my personality.

I realized my potential in many ways. The very first trip in January to Korigadh tested my patience. I realized which kind of people I cannot travel with, luckily early in year so I managed to avoid them throughout the year. I understood my physical capability in my next trip in Feb to Alang-Madan-Kulang-the toughest range in Maharashtra. I still can’t believe I actually managed walking from Lonavla to Bhimashankar that is 65+ km in April heat. It was a tough challenge with a beautiful outcome. This year for the first time I went for trek, to Vikatgadh, without even an hour’s sleep. It was unbelievable that my body could dance all night and trek the next day, but wuhoo done that too!

For me the people I travel with are of importance too. And this year during my last Industrial Visit to Sikkim, with my then classmates, now batch-mates it proved to be so. Each of them, made me feel so special for being part of this batch of 2017!

I always wished to meet a celebrity not at some event but while travelling. And guess what, I did. I met Namit Das during my trek to Asherigadh in August this year and managed to have a conversation too. He has trekked a few other places and loves to trek and travel. Yayayay, I felt within, standing and conversing with a celeb about travelling on a trek!

I did my first snow trek during my trip to Manali. I realized how beautiful is the feeling when you give. I became a more giving person, I cared less about receiving. This was the total vibe of the trip because of the way the guides and other helping hands received while trekking high in mountains.

Ladakh was never part of my bucket list, because I like to be realistic and I didn’t think it was possible. But this is now gracious the super power is. Before I googled and added it to my list I had experienced it. Blessed is the word Ladakh taught me, the life people have there is difficult, I’ll leave the rest for you to go and physically experience it. I started respecting my life back in Bombay after this trip.

I am happiest when I am travelling. I don’t know how but my happy place is in the moments of learning during travels. This year, when I chose to go Harishchandragadh over one really important function, I knew it that the travel-bug has settled within.

I will rewind and play the flashback travel’17 a million times and never be bored of it. I hope my travel write ups inspire you to go out there and travel. There are many long vacations in 2018, time you start thinking!

Flashback – Dec’16

“When asked the question, who in the class can sing? All the hands in the kinder-garden would go up! But as the same question is being asked in classes higher up till class 10, slowly numbers of hands go down. Why? As we grow up we don’t say yes, we understand our comfort zone and dwell in it. It is important to try new things and broadening the comfort zone!”

This is the story Sir narrated as we reached Apsara Vihar-a scenic view point in Madhya Pradesh last December as part of college Nature Club Camp. He then asked us to take out the colour pencils he gave and draw the scene. Obediently we all drew. My drawing looked more like a zombie girl trying to save her life from some scary triangles (supposed to be mountains) but that was the point, to try something new! I drew and I also penned my first poem. It was a beautiful feeling!

Last December I was a third year media student. At the back of my mind were questions of what next? Questions about future to which I didn’t have answers or knew where to find them. But then, I met Tejal Ma’am on the camp and one simple morning conversation with her made me relax about all those back-end questions!

You are a professional architect, what makes you still roll in for these part time courses in so many varied fields?

IMG_20171209_165849346-01
A glimpse of my travel book

“At the end it all connects.

Even if it doesn’t make you happy, it shall give you experience.

It is also good to know what you don’t like!” are earnest pointers of her well explained reply.

This December, when I am half year ahead of being a graduate and actually living the most chaotic stage in life, it all connects to this conversation with Tejal Ma’am last year.

I have a job in hand, a course in mind and uncertainty about what to do now and in future dwelling within me. Things at my first job haven’t made me happy, they have made me sure of what I don’t like and hey, overall definitely given me an experience! It also calms me down to think that the new job I am doing now will connect to what I’ll do in future.

Last December Camp’s flashback has to talk about this one night I opened up about what exactly I feel about the people who matter the most to me. This night’s conversation helped me this entire year to deal with emotions better. Yes, I spoke about family, friends, etc with Tejal Ma’am and Anish Cheata (the star from My First Snow Trek blog.) The mantra that I received from the conversation which helped me survive this year was-

“Observe, grasp it all in, the entire situation with your loved one.

Feeling: try to analyse what exactly you feel about the situation/equation with the person.

Need, try to understand what you need from the person

Request, attempt to politely get it”

In more than one situation and in varied ways, I did use this formula and had a better emotional journey this year. This formula might sound vague, unrealistic perhaps. But if you are in an emotional situation with a person, or ever wish to deal a relation with your close one better, try to apply it then, and I am sure, at that point, this would be helpful.

I am glad that year was beautiful emotionally and definitely feels stronger at heart. Keeping the ‘say yes to life’ principle in mind, I wrote poetry all year long and also managed to get courage by end to design them up for Instagram. I promised myself and managed to travel more this year. Bonus, made a travel book as well!

The Flashback series will give a glimpse of this year in varied ways. I hope you like this last series of 2017 and get something to take back from each post in the series too.

 

 

 

My First Failure

I have always been the person who puts her heart and soul even in the smallest thing asked of me. From school till last week, I have never really faced a major failure. Emotionally I have failed a million times, but for the first time last week I failed as a part of a team in a project at My First Job.

We both gave our interviews on the same day. Our date of joining was also the same. We both had a lot of similar interests, so the bond was beautiful. I learned from her how to use words carefully and that how noticing small things about people can help any bond to grow. It wasn’t only her but in a span of weeks I had met ten team members and learned at least twenty new things which helped me grow as a person individually.

The reason we didn’t get the project wasn’t us. Our work was liked by our clients, they had some other priority work to be done and so they let go of us. We were all given an option to either stay in the company, work in some other team or leave. A few left, others got divided into different teams.

The day our manager told us that the project we all got hired for won’t be coming I kept thinking what better could I have done? What better could we have done as a team? What about our jobs now? What about telling Maa about this? What about managing things at home? I never faced a failure of this sort before. Instead, this was my first failure. I broke.

On my train journey back on the first day we all worked in separate teams there was a flashback from my interview day till the last day we worked as a team. I penned down my learning from each of my team members. After which, my quest for why exactly I felt broken begin.

I realised failure in the sense of losing the project wasn’t the major reason. I feared the changes the failure would bring in which made me cry more. When I got to this reasoning I realised, I have always taken my studies seriously not because I fear to fail but fear the changes a failure would get in my life. And this failure which I faced right on my face this time would bring in the worst kind of changes around me, around my first job atmosphere.

I do not even like to be late for a train, I always reach 10mins before time. I figured why. I fear the change missing a train would cause my timetable that day. I have few times faced this small failures but it didn’t affect me much as it didn’t change much things around me. But this time the change this failure of getting the project would be huge, and hence I felt broken within.

As I sat in the train with my book I tried to dig deeper to find how I can fix this new found problem in me – the fear of changes a failure causes. I closed my eyes for a second, thought for a while. ‘You cannot step into the same river twice’ is what my mind popped up, a quote I had recently read somewhere.

This quote by Heraclitus, a Turkish philosopher, makes it evident that nothing in life is constant. Everything is a phase. Also I believe, for some rhythm in life it is essential it has ups and downs. A person’s life can be judged not on how many things he owns but how many and in what ways he deals with failures.

The latter half of the train journey I penned down how I could deal this failure and the changes it will cause around me. I tried to figure about how I’ll stay in touch with the people in my team, about how I will try my best to do well at the new work expected of me. Facing my first failure made me meet an undercover fear I had. Each failure is learning, is a truth I experienced.

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