I am heartless

‘I always listen to what my heart says’

My mom said this while we were discussing something last evening. This statement is common and I am sure one must’ve heard it many times. But what does it mean?

Technically, a heart only pumps blood to the body. I don’t know when, how and who exactly attached an emotional concept to our hearts. But to break this bubble, our feeling or ‘hearty decisions’ are also done in the mind.

A part of our brain is rational, a part is emotional. Everything that one ‘thinks’ and ‘feels’ is part of the brain’s functioning. Sadly heart doesn’t have any role when it comes to all this. I tried to explain so to Mom but alas! I failed.

I strongly believe that what we think, what we feed our mind the entire day is what we are and what we become. Over the past year I have consciously made efforts to feed my mind right. I have chosen certain kinds of book, watched a certain kind of cinema, been aware of what I am listening to and watching on social media.

This tiny step has helped me be more productive. I have had my blogging, travel and even other personal goals achieved as my mind was always on track and was fed right.

Today, I think about my work goals, my next blog and travel plan, the few close people of my life and then anything else. On a daily basis, conscious efforts to only have these thoughts help me grow towards it.

Having said so, doing this wasn’t easy. I am an emotional fool and an overthinker. To curb my mind to not think crap was difficult as it is always tough to unlearn and relearn.

This week I was put to test. I was in the middle of either being an emotional fool or becoming completely heartless, and I chose to be heartless! I chose to not let anything affect the productive functioning of my mind.

There are times you’ll perhaps be caught in a similar situation that we commonly know as heart or mind decisions. These decisions will either have you chose something based on what you feel or what you think.

Your brain feels a certain way about it and thinks completely contrast to it. This makes you stretched in the middle of heart or mind. But remember, there is no heart, it is always your mind alone.

It was tough but I passed the test this week. I didn’t spiral and become weak. I let my mind take control over the so-called ‘heart’ and didn’t let my week be any less productive. It took a night of crying and spiralling before I chose the right thing to do but I did it.

I was and still am someone who struggles with self-confidence. I have improved over the years and it has only been possible because I have become more and more heartless.

I have let my mind be more powerful and told myself to love and believe in myself. Daily I have written and reminded myself to believe and love what I am. Doing this over a year now has helped me know, improve and love myself better.

In the crudest sense, this post wishes to say to be heartless. Your mind is powerful, feed it right, take control of your emotions, churn it in the right direction. It will be difficult but not impossible. I am here, @nisha_navgire on Insta to help you through it!