Am I better than what I was a decade ago? I strive to believe so. It was a challenge to find proof for this belief. But here’s my attempt…
Less Mean | More Kind
The first thing I did was to read my journal entries from 2010 to date. And oh boy! I was mean and how. Like, I have definitely grown and am totally not that mean girl writing that diary back then. I wonder why I was so, was it a defence mechanism to keep people at bay or perhaps just brutally honest. Luckily, not so anymore, uff!
The last five years of this decade can say were the toughest. Out of college, figuring what to do, finding some ground has definitely helped to be more kind. I have not yet learned to be kind to myself much. I push myself way too much (right now juggling between study, work, blog and travel cravings).
I am not happy with me too soon which made it tougher to be happy or kinder towards others. But this is in process. Over this decade, I met many struggling boats like mine and it is now easier to be kinder to self and people around.
Less Anxious | More Honest
I believe more than half the decade I spent thinking about what next? After 10th what next? After 12th what next? After graduation what next? Now at point thinking, after Masters what next? Only to realize it is a pointless thought. Whatever next is already awaiting to accept me, I need to calm and focus on the now…
It is easy to write this looking back at the decade. But, it was a challenge to deal with the chaos in my mind back then. Each student, each child goes through all of what I went through, I didn’t face anything new. Yet, sailing through these last years of complete anxiety feels like an achievement to me.
I have managed to become more honest and practical. I tell myself the worst possibilities and do best at what is at my hand. This was tough at the start but now this is the mantra I follow.
Less Judgemental | More Accepting
Who hasn’t had favourites and non-favourites about anything and everything since school? From favourite cartoon shows to favourite tv shows and series, the journey of favouritism has come a long way. But there is a difference…
I have lived more like- ‘my way or the high way’ attitude for the first five years of this decade. I talked, got along with only fewer people and lived in a cocoon. Thanks to everyone I have met in my senior college (Wilson College) that helped me shape and become more accepting.
I learned to live with and get along and even work with people I don’t have a single thing in common. Mutual respect and accepting the existence of one another learned in college is helping me survive at work these days. Yes, at times I wish to kill some people, but I am managing and processing to get better.
The bigger challenge was also to accept me. I have changed in a zillion ways to. It is not easy to accept change as a reality. So many things changed over the decade, the coming decade promises so much more, changes in me, changes of everything around me…
Tough but not impossible, I have survived the decade with a smile and have grown immensely, am now totally braced up for what’s next! DM @nisha_navgire for sharing your decade of growth stories.