Author: Nisha

Flashback’17 – My wisdom boost year

This year was full of many learning experiences and it started with the most difficult one-death! I had never lost someone very close to me and had never attended a funeral. But, in January I did. Dealing with death isn’t easy but is an essential truth of life. It came 20 years after I was born, but I am glad I have made peace with this truth of life now.

This year marks the ultimate transformation from being a college lad to a working girl. I had my last college trip in Feb to Sikkim, in March we got farewell and by April, done, college life was done! As I write this now in December, I am already working as a content writer for a start-up. This entire phase from June till now was like walking on a patch of hot coal with a smile on.

Why did I miss talking about May above? Because I had the perfect end to my college life as I travelled the entire month. First, I went to Manali, I did my first snow trek and then I came back and visited Ladakh. This entire month of travelling was the perfect way of calming the head down and celebrating the joy of being a graduate before entering the new phase of life.

I think the travel part of May intoxicated me that I couldn’t think of anything but travel. June and July went away in many beautiful treks with my favourite thing-rains! I can relive dancing ‘london thumakda’ in the rain to release some happy hormones on a crappy day.

August bought with it another new experience, my mother’s retirement. 37years of commitment to one job, can you believe that? Now life got serious, I had to quickly shift from my travel mania to finding a new job. And as I did that, I had to consider how to smoothen the shift for mom from being a working lady to being a retired one. The following months were definitely rough but I sailed through only to crash on a big mountain soon.

Crashing onto this mountain could easily be avoided. It is stupid. I still find it weird as to why I did it, but with lot of courage, I finally pen down my stupidity. I liked a guy, had this huge crush on him, and how normally one deals with crushes, I kept to myself. But a new friend insisted on saying it, expressing it and so I did, but not just like that, with a poem!

I penned a poem of my feelings and guess what, received a poem in return. But before you get it wrong, let me tell you the poem received said exactly what I did, my crush loved someone else. That poem is a priced possession now as my crush’s a lazy fellow and not a writer kind for sure.

As I made peace with my emotional stupidity, life got better otherwise. I kind of felt better at my new job. Mom also began living her retired life with ease. Just when I thought everything is getting better I got questioned WHY?

The context of this why being, why I am doing the job, why I am thinking of the masters that I am. I did figure out part answer to this why but hopefully get the full picture soon.

This is the last post of the year. I am travelling to Ranthambore, Rajasthan, India the following week. I hope to find proper answer to my WHY, will definitely come back to post my answer and of course the travel experience. PS: check my instagram @nishanavgire for photos related to my blogs!

Flashback – Travel’17

I am grateful that 2017 has proved to be a year full of beautiful experiences. A year where I managed to have 12 trips-some for a day, some for two and 2-3 trips of more than a week. During each trip I had experiences adding different shades to my personality.

I realized my potential in many ways. The very first trip in January to Korigadh tested my patience. I realized which kind of people I cannot travel with, luckily early in year so I managed to avoid them throughout the year. I understood my physical capability in my next trip in Feb to Alang-Madan-Kulang-the toughest range in Maharashtra. I still can’t believe I actually managed walking from Lonavla to Bhimashankar that is 65+ km in April heat. It was a tough challenge with a beautiful outcome. This year for the first time I went for trek, to Vikatgadh, without even an hour’s sleep. It was unbelievable that my body could dance all night and trek the next day, but wuhoo done that too!

For me the people I travel with are of importance too. And this year during my last Industrial Visit to Sikkim, with my then classmates, now batch-mates it proved to be so. Each of them, made me feel so special for being part of this batch of 2017!

I always wished to meet a celebrity not at some event but while travelling. And guess what, I did. I met Namit Das during my trek to Asherigadh in August this year and managed to have a conversation too. He has trekked a few other places and loves to trek and travel. Yayayay, I felt within, standing and conversing with a celeb about travelling on a trek!

I did my first snow trek during my trip to Manali. I realized how beautiful is the feeling when you give. I became a more giving person, I cared less about receiving. This was the total vibe of the trip because of the way the guides and other helping hands received while trekking high in mountains.

Ladakh was never part of my bucket list, because I like to be realistic and I didn’t think it was possible. But this is now gracious the super power is. Before I googled and added it to my list I had experienced it. Blessed is the word Ladakh taught me, the life people have there is difficult, I’ll leave the rest for you to go and physically experience it. I started respecting my life back in Bombay after this trip.

I am happiest when I am travelling. I don’t know how but my happy place is in the moments of learning during travels. This year, when I chose to go Harishchandragadh over one really important function, I knew it that the travel-bug has settled within.

I will rewind and play the flashback travel’17 a million times and never be bored of it. I hope my travel write ups inspire you to go out there and travel. There are many long vacations in 2018, time you start thinking!

Flashback – Dec’16

“When asked the question, who in the class can sing? All the hands in the kinder-garden would go up! But as the same question is being asked in classes higher up till class 10, slowly numbers of hands go down. Why? As we grow up we don’t say yes, we understand our comfort zone and dwell in it. It is important to try new things and broadening the comfort zone!”

This is the story Sir narrated as we reached Apsara Vihar-a scenic view point in Madhya Pradesh last December as part of college Nature Club Camp. He then asked us to take out the colour pencils he gave and draw the scene. Obediently we all drew. My drawing looked more like a zombie girl trying to save her life from some scary triangles (supposed to be mountains) but that was the point, to try something new! I drew and I also penned my first poem. It was a beautiful feeling!

Last December I was a third year media student. At the back of my mind were questions of what next? Questions about future to which I didn’t have answers or knew where to find them. But then, I met Tejal Ma’am on the camp and one simple morning conversation with her made me relax about all those back-end questions!

You are a professional architect, what makes you still roll in for these part time courses in so many varied fields?

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A glimpse of my travel book

“At the end it all connects.

Even if it doesn’t make you happy, it shall give you experience.

It is also good to know what you don’t like!” are earnest pointers of her well explained reply.

This December, when I am half year ahead of being a graduate and actually living the most chaotic stage in life, it all connects to this conversation with Tejal Ma’am last year.

I have a job in hand, a course in mind and uncertainty about what to do now and in future dwelling within me. Things at my first job haven’t made me happy, they have made me sure of what I don’t like and hey, overall definitely given me an experience! It also calms me down to think that the new job I am doing now will connect to what I’ll do in future.

Last December Camp’s flashback has to talk about this one night I opened up about what exactly I feel about the people who matter the most to me. This night’s conversation helped me this entire year to deal with emotions better. Yes, I spoke about family, friends, etc with Tejal Ma’am and Anish Cheata (the star from My First Snow Trek blog.) The mantra that I received from the conversation which helped me survive this year was-

“Observe, grasp it all in, the entire situation with your loved one.

Feeling: try to analyse what exactly you feel about the situation/equation with the person.

Need, try to understand what you need from the person

Request, attempt to politely get it”

In more than one situation and in varied ways, I did use this formula and had a better emotional journey this year. This formula might sound vague, unrealistic perhaps. But if you are in an emotional situation with a person, or ever wish to deal a relation with your close one better, try to apply it then, and I am sure, at that point, this would be helpful.

I am glad that year was beautiful emotionally and definitely feels stronger at heart. Keeping the ‘say yes to life’ principle in mind, I wrote poetry all year long and also managed to get courage by end to design them up for Instagram. I promised myself and managed to travel more this year. Bonus, made a travel book as well!

The Flashback series will give a glimpse of this year in varied ways. I hope you like this last series of 2017 and get something to take back from each post in the series too.

 

 

 

Things I learned from Maa

“Maa, I had a bad day, please keep the food and bed ready. Will just eat and sleep”

“Okay beta,”

As I hung up the call I realized how I would call her to get things while returning home from office. How she for all the years of her work life, never had a call back home saying what I just did. As I reached home, I hugged Maa and said “How did you manage work and yet manage us and all the other family drama so smoothly?”

“You have more to see in the world. Come have dinner, it will get cold”

I don’t remember a time I ever felt any joy for food. But she always feels the joy to cook for me in a hope that I’ll eat with the same joy.

This is being hopeful for two decades straight without any positive output! To me this is an epitome of being hopeful in life. How do you manage to have hope in such a hopeless child like me?

My sister posted that she went to Bondi beach in Australia.

“I’ll ask her boondi beach gayi hai, laddoo beach kab jayegi”

This is the kind of humour my mom has always had. This was a dig at my sister but more often than not the jokes are two fold, punching me right in the face and making herself laugh if not anyone else!

I think this is how she gets back at me for not eating. But her jokes have also managed to lighten my mood at times when all I wish to do is nag and cry.

“Mom I need some coffee”

“I am watching Kiran the Knitter’s new video, in 5 mins I’ll give”

The above mentioned youtuber is one of my mom’s favourite. She keeps learning new knitting skills online. Instead from the time she is been introduced to youtube there hasn’t been a day for her without learning something new in areas of her interest like knitting and cooking.

Mom has a root desire to do her bit no matter what. In any situation, under any circumstance she always thinks of the other before her. How? Maa is the kind of person who would get beaten all over and still offer the person some food, yes food because its mom after all!

I have only observed Maa, I am yet to learn how she manages to remain sane amidst the chaos around. I’ll try my best at adapting some poor joke skill as well. I have definitely inherited the learning wheel from her. I am trying to become more selfless. I am hopeful to learn all this and more. And my hopes won’t die, learned that for sure!

This is my last post in the series “Things I learned from…” I hope this and each post gave you some learning too 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Things I have learned from Felicia and Omkar

If I ask my mind to do a work, which I am expected to do, like for example writing for my job, I am confident and I’ll do it. I might even redo it if required. But, if I ask myself to express something I feel for someone, my mind says ‘fuck off you aren’t doing that shit’.

I, for some reason have this weird self-doubting and self-confidence issue which pops up only when I have to do some personal expression kind of task, for example expressing feelings to my crush, telling someone I care for them etc. But this is changing.

From the time I have known Felicia, she has always been confident of the way she is. I have never seen her doubt herself for the way she looks. Omkar always calls himself ‘best’ no matter what the situation, occasion, photo anything. It sometimes gets annoying but it is the best way to instil some self-confidence. Whenever I have been in situations need of confidence, I have told myself you are best and it has worked!

Since I started loving the way I am a bit more and accepting myself, I got some courage to express what I feel too. I realized when there is certain amount of self-love and care it helps to convey the love and care for others.

Long distance within Mumbai is a reality. It isn’t feasible to travel one end to another to meet your buds every week. I have, since the time college is done met these two once a month. It sucks, but hey this has made me realize that being there for someone doesn’t mean practically seeing each other every time, it means being available when in need. And I am glad that in spite of the distance we have managed to be there for each other no matter what!

Felicia and Omkar are both good in more than one thing- photography/filming being common in both. Felcia has dancing skills while Omkar knows the tabla is two skills among some more both of them can do. The way both have put in efforts to nurture these skills and always have the learning wheel going is enough motivation for me to keep doing things I love!

Felica has a special skill when it comes to analysing and dealing with people. She is my go-to person when I have a problem dealing with someone. I don’t know how, she just sorts it for me of how I can deal the person. Omkar on the other hand has a calm head which is best to understand how to deal a troublesome situation. He breaks it down and makes it easier to deal with. I am trying my best to learn these two very important skills from both my gems!

The best common thing both have is kindness. They both believe to be human first over everything. It can be a dog, a person in train, a stranger or anyone. I think this quality is common among three of us.

You too might have that one friend or two or if lucky more friends who have made you realize and learn some important things. Yes, friends are to have fun, but there is so much more to friendship than that! Come, its time you think and appreciate friends for the good they have done to you as a person and when you do so, let me know too!

Things I learned from the Mumbai Local

When you live in Mumbai suburbs, conversations about the local train is bound to happen. This post is about what I learned from my five year mumbai local travel.

Years back I met an old man at Dadar station waiting for a train, he asked me a question which I couldn’t answer, “How many years do you wish to live?” It was random, I was standing beside him, both of us awaiting the train when he turns to me and asks the question. I look at him bewildered. The train arrives, he smiles and walk towards it. He perhaps asked me so looking at my weak health or me being on phone the full 10 mins we stood beside each other, I am not sure.

I am used to eating in train. A year ago when I was eating breakfast, I had a bit and was keeping my tiffin, when an aunty beside me who was dug in her phone all this while turned to me and said “finish it” I looked at her, smiled and offered her “you finish it” came her reply. I finished my breakfast for the first time in a while, that day.

Both these incidents were random but spoke volumes to me and hence close to my heart. Though, everything about the local train is not a feel good experience. There is a clasist feel present where in everybody in first class coach judge people by clothes and looks and fight if they feel that a person belongs to second class coach.

The Mumbai Local did teach me balance, practically balancing on one foot and in life too. Giving an elderly person seat, providing a helping hand to a stranger, helping someone with basic needs like water, helping a pregnant lady etc, these small acts of humanity occur in the same space where as I said above people don’t behave properly to people of lower work status or who seem too different than us. There has been a balance of good and bad experiences on the train.

One important thing that Mumbai Local has made me understand is how different men and women are. The way men manage the seats in the train and the way women do it is so strikingly different. Men do not claim seats; they stand and after a while of travelling say half hour, men standing sit. Women claim seats and sit accordingly. I have no clue why both do it so differently but thanks to this I know, men and women think different. People who wish to study gender, kindly note and help me find answer to this.

Something that saddens me though about local train is the behavior of the educated illiterates. Why I call them so? Who are they? The ones who are educated, might have jobs too and still get up from seat to throw trash out of the train door, or out of the train window. Any of you guilty ones reading this, please stop doing it. Anyone know who does this, make them stop, please!

The more I think about my mumbai local journeys, the more I feel blessed of being a Mumbaikar who travels. In a jam packed local train the one hanging at the door envies the one who is a step inside, the one inside envies the one standing comfortably inside, the one standing inside envies the one sitting comfortably and the person sitting wonders how they’ll manage to get down. Isn’t this how we feel about life? Don’t you have that one person you feel whose life is better than yours? We as humans always feel that the other is in a better shape than us, when the truth is, we are at the same game of life, dealing it in our ways and its upon us to make the most of what we have.

Local train journeys have taught me enjoying and respecting the journeys more than destinations. We all wish to reach somewhere, become something, but it’s the journeys that make us what we are.

If you are reading this, I hope you stop, smile and pat yourself for the journey you have lived so far. As John Lennon said it, life is happening to us when we are planning everything else.

 

Things I learned from people as I traveled

This year, I am thankful that I traveled. I still can’t believe how beautiful the year has been travel wise. There are few people I came across as I traveled from whom I learned, and had lessons to cherish forever. These people have made my travel diary smile brighter!

About two days after my birthday I was with 5 friends on a trail from Lonavla to Bhimashankar. We lost our way and asked for help. A man we met said 600/person charges to show us the way. We walked off and found ourselves lost again. Tired after our efforts, drenched in sweat we sat under a tree when we saw an old man come our way. We asked him for help to which he quickly said

I’ll just inform my family, if you can wait, then I’ll come show you the way

This old man helped us through the rest of the trail. Showed us where we could drink water, where we could rest. He cared for us without expecting anything in return. When we reached Bhimashankar, we gave him whatever we could, for him and his family.

On my second visit to Sikkim, I came across many interesting people. One of them who had a major impact on me was Prashant Rasaily, a film maker we had a session with as a part of our last industrial visit. This film maker in a couple of hours spoke things that made my mind go crazy.

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‘‘World has many successful people, not happy people, so grow to be happy people’’

He made me think of life in terms of how much happy I am, with just his words he made me think of my 20 years. How much of it have I made it worth? Have I really lived happy enough?

His session with us was supposed to be about his upcoming movie, about cinema in Sikkim etc. He did speak about all that but he wished the session to be much more than that. He urged us all to become happy people. He motivated us to think in terms of making a mark and helping the society than just doing what we wish to.

The trip to Ladakh was beautiful and it was our last lunch before we left. I was almost done eating when I saw a monk enter. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I went up to him to have a conversation.

I asked him his name, he replied. I asked him what he does, he looked puzzled and then smiled, I am a monk. I asked again, what do you do? He said, I do many things, overall I try to find meaning to my life. Wow. I thought, how do I find meaning to my life without becoming a monk?

We further talked about his life. A tradition that his family follows is to give away one son from the family to monastery. His younger brother wished to be a doctor and so it was upon him to become a monk. He wished to be a writer, he read a few poems he had written in his language and explained me the meaning in English. I asked him, what will you do with this writing talent? How are you going to nourish it?

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He smiled and said, I am trying to find meaning to my life, writing is only a medium.

The old man I met made me realize that I should always try to help someone in need, selflessly. And that its always in my hands to be good and helpful to someone or make profit out of someone’s misery.

The film maker made me question how I am living my life, it was like a mirror. To be a happy human is my goal than a successful one, thanks to him!

The monk I had a word with in a simple conversation made me realize that how lightly I am taking my love of writing and that I should put in more efforts. I am thankful to have come across them as learning from each is making me and travel diary smile brighter!

 

Things I learned from The Crazy Old Man

I have begun this series “Things I learned from…” because I believe that people make me happy, learning from people constantly is what I wish to do to stay happy always. Who better to begin with than The Crazy Old Man!

To pen down things learned from him might end up becoming my first book so I have put it out in this post in a nutshell. And, I am sure it won’t end here, there is more I’ll learn from him over the years we both shall live.

‘What will the world lose if you die today?’ is what being the head of the BMM department then, he wrote on the board on his first lecture with us in First year class. From that day to this, I strive to answer this question daily. It reminds me to make myself worthy of the things I wish to achieve.

Months after knowing him he took us to our first Industrial Visit. That visit and the experience of the travel with him lead to the birth of this blog. From then I have tried my best to keep writing, blogging and expressing through words. Today I can think of investing money in my blog to promote it. From an under-confident writer hesitating to have her first blog to this day- wouldn’t be possible without that little push!

I had a thing for traveling; he watered this seed in me. Today I know that I am a river person, that travelling is my way of healing. Travelling can mean anything to anyone but thanks to him I know what it means to me.

‘Read, there is no escape.’ As much as I wished to write and travel, there was zero enthusiasm to read. But he made me realize that to be the writer I wish to be, reading is essential. I still don’t read enough but I’m surely working on it!

Be it during the IVs, the nature club camps or any other situation, he has always put others before himself. I wonder how he does that. This is something I’m trying to practice in reality still.

I have never seen an introvert manage so many people at once with ease be it a varied crowd of 40 people at nature club camps or 70-80 young students of a class. How? I am yet to figure this one out and learn this skill. I think its people’s skills which even an introvert can master, I’m not sure though, as it is almost magical!

One of the biggest things learned from him is being a person of action more than words. He always said he didn’t like us as a class, but his actions said otherwise, he strived to get the best for our class till the last minute. I have somehow managed to be the same. I can’t come and tell you how you mean to me but I’ll try to imbibe all the learning taken from you and practice things you always wished your students should.

I wish I could go on and on, but hey, life is like that, you can’t keep doing things you love forever. There has to be coma, a full stop, a change of sentence, a change of chapter.

Things I learned from you Sir, is a book I hold close to my heart and read through every time in need and I’m sure of adding many more pages to it!

Things that make me happy

What makes you happy? What is that one thing that makes you smile? What is that one thing that makes you wish, you live longer? It can be your better half, your parents, family or simply a hobby or a goal you wish to achieve.

When I sat down to answer this question, there are a few things that popped in my mind. Reading, writing, travelling, etc. When I tried to question and find out why exactly do they make me happy, the answer became complicated.

Its easy to know what makes you happy. It isn’t as easy to figure out why it makes you happy. Its like your first crush, you know you like them, you don’t know why.

I banged my head on this for a while and finally got an answer. Its the learning experience from each of the things I love doing that makes me happy. Every time I complete reading a book, a blog post, a travel there is a sort of happiness I cannot feel otherwise.

When I hammered on this question for some more days I got a link between these things that make me happy. Its people! I am a non fiction person when it comes to reading, and usually end up reading experiences of people that I connect with. (Eat Pray Love being my last read.) I love to write so that I get back response of at least one person who connects with what I write. Travelling that I do has many reasons, one of the biggest is to meet people and know more about their lives.

This year I have done my best to spend time doing things that make me happy than I ever have. And guess what it wasn’t even on my resolution or to do list! So I would like you to push yourself and find out what makes you happy, find a relation within them like I did or just make sure you spend time doing these things that make you happy and the rest shall be take care of.

Till the year ends, my last series of posts will be “Things I learned from…” This will include people I have learned the most from & who have molded me into the being I am today!

My First Failure

I have always been the person who puts her heart and soul even in the smallest thing asked of me. From school till last week, I have never really faced a major failure. Emotionally I have failed a million times, but for the first time last week I failed as a part of a team in a project at My First Job.

We both gave our interviews on the same day. Our date of joining was also the same. We both had a lot of similar interests, so the bond was beautiful. I learned from her how to use words carefully and that how noticing small things about people can help any bond to grow. It wasn’t only her but in a span of weeks I had met ten team members and learned at least twenty new things which helped me grow as a person individually.

The reason we didn’t get the project wasn’t us. Our work was liked by our clients, they had some other priority work to be done and so they let go of us. We were all given an option to either stay in the company, work in some other team or leave. A few left, others got divided into different teams.

The day our manager told us that the project we all got hired for won’t be coming I kept thinking what better could I have done? What better could we have done as a team? What about our jobs now? What about telling Maa about this? What about managing things at home? I never faced a failure of this sort before. Instead, this was my first failure. I broke.

On my train journey back on the first day we all worked in separate teams there was a flashback from my interview day till the last day we worked as a team. I penned down my learning from each of my team members. After which, my quest for why exactly I felt broken begin.

I realised failure in the sense of losing the project wasn’t the major reason. I feared the changes the failure would bring in which made me cry more. When I got to this reasoning I realised, I have always taken my studies seriously not because I fear to fail but fear the changes a failure would get in my life. And this failure which I faced right on my face this time would bring in the worst kind of changes around me, around my first job atmosphere.

I do not even like to be late for a train, I always reach 10mins before time. I figured why. I fear the change missing a train would cause my timetable that day. I have few times faced this small failures but it didn’t affect me much as it didn’t change much things around me. But this time the change this failure of getting the project would be huge, and hence I felt broken within.

As I sat in the train with my book I tried to dig deeper to find how I can fix this new found problem in me – the fear of changes a failure causes. I closed my eyes for a second, thought for a while. ‘You cannot step into the same river twice’ is what my mind popped up, a quote I had recently read somewhere.

This quote by Heraclitus, a Turkish philosopher, makes it evident that nothing in life is constant. Everything is a phase. Also I believe, for some rhythm in life it is essential it has ups and downs. A person’s life can be judged not on how many things he owns but how many and in what ways he deals with failures.

The latter half of the train journey I penned down how I could deal this failure and the changes it will cause around me. I tried to figure about how I’ll stay in touch with the people in my team, about how I will try my best to do well at the new work expected of me. Facing my first failure made me meet an undercover fear I had. Each failure is learning, is a truth I experienced.

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