If I would have had the budget, I would embed my posts here. But well, I think, these screenshots should just work fine. This post more than anything is a reminder to self that I really need to approach some agency to help me boost my blog and Insta. I am finally consistent with my content, I just need a nudge to make it reach more people.

5 carefree

It is video and clearly gives a glimpse into the kind of person I am. I love reading this one time and again and reminding myself of how stupid the world is and how important it is to embrace my madness!

4 grace

Whatever life hits you with, lemons or rocks, it is important to take it all with grace. To be kind, accepting and positive of each phase in life is very important. It is almost like I needed to hear my own words this week to feel better.

3 always awkward

If there is a course I can enrol as to how to bid goodbye than please let me know. I haven’t learnt it in twenty-three years on this planet. The trip this picture was taken, the person in this picture, the moment it was taken, is all too special to be true!

2 where I belong

Now the Insta handle of my brother who features in this photo. I think I’ll charge him for it soon. About this post and this poem, it helped me accept that how much ever I roam the world- I’ll always belong to the Sahyadris; it is family!

1 heaven’s true!

This was taken and written on my first trip to Sikkim. It is the first time I realized I connect with rivers. I wrote the most truthful lines in this post for the river. The last two being my favourite, lines I can sing on loop – if heaven’s true, it is you!

@nisha_navgireon Insta to check all the above and more!

I have had rough weeks, reason why I have to add two posts this week as I missed one last week. I began thinking about what to do when it occurred to me that let’s pen down all the challenges I am dealing with now. The ways these challenges are shaping me and be a good motivator to keep going.

5  Un-nurtured travel seed

It is one thing to say realize you have a travelling seed in you and its completely another to keep feeding it. Let’s face it, being on mountains every weekend is the dream but making it once a month also is like achieving a feat!

This rotten, un-nurtured seed then affects the entire mental land. It gets crazy up there and even the easiest daily tasks suffer. I am not too sure how I am dealing with this, but I am doing okay. Trying to go on drives, get up early and be on the terrace, go on random walks etc.

4  Balance

Personal life is gone for a toss amidst the professional roller coaster I am riding. Striking this balance is getting tougher by the day. I have a course that I am to study for. I have a work commitment to live up to. Ah! Penning this also makes my stress level reach Everest in a second!

No there is no way I know how to deal with this. Let’s say I am trying my best to sail through this one. This one is only a phase and hopefully, this challenge will cease to exist in a matter of a month! Well, one can be hopeful.

3  Generation gap

Okay, let’s say no one’s a clean sheet. We all have our flaws. I have shared and been close to mom ever since my memory can recall things. But now, things are getting difficult as I am in my tweens and mom is getting old. There are things which I can’t share, things she can’t try to understand. It is tough. I keep feeling I am losing the only parent I ever had!

But, well communication is the cure for everything. I am dealing with the best way than the rest of my challenges. I conveyed to mom all the above and she said I need not tell her things her age can’t handle only at the clause that even she is allowed to keep secrets that my age can’t handle. And well, I think I got the best of the deal as she sucks with secrets!

 2  Oops, not again!

My mother’s better half is the next challenge I deal with. I can’t say more here, I think I am doing okay with this one. We don’t bother each other much. We were like two animals fighting for the independent share of the same land and living. We have come to a co-existing policy where no one bothers the other person’s small den.

Not saying I nailed this one, but I am only human and trying my best dealing with this one. In case this point was a bouncer for you then get some context here.

1  Away from her

It is tough to admit this one but well, I miss my sister. She settled abroad two years back. It was fine at first as I had just graduated and I had a few things planned. But now that life is slapping me left and right, I sort of miss her support and guiding hand beside me.

Yes, perhaps I wouldn’t even take a single of her advice but then I have always loved hearing her thoughts and then denying them. There wasn’t much of a bond but I miss the little be had. It is crazy but my journal helped me understand that a lot of me not writing last week’s post was because my mental space was full of me missing her!

No, I haven’t called her. I haven’t conveyed this to her. I know it isn’t a good idea either. I know I won’t say this to her. I am not sure how I’ll deal with one at all. I feel weirdly helpless and adamant with this regard. Time, I leave this one to you.

@nisha_navgire on Insta for any sharing!

I wanted to do a post where I talk about my favourite posts. The idea was to go through all my posts, edit them to find the best ones and put them on this list. This list can then be a good motivator for me to keep going as it would remind me of my capabilities as a writer.

However, the process to reach these top five wasn’t easy. One, there are over a hundred posts now considering I wrote weekly for two years! As I read each one by one, I wished to delete many of them for I am a self-critique. I was about to trash this idea of writing about my favourites but then I found these five…

Number 5:  Thank You, Aurangabad

For the first time on my blog, I wrote about something that is way too personal. It took ages for me to convince myself to post this one. Two people cried and called me saying they felt touched by my words. A few others felt proud that I penned this down.

I write about my travels and trips. There are a few series that I like going back to, like the Spiti Saga and the Konkan Kind. These trip experiences, the people I met, the people I went with, everything added volumes to my being and the blog reflected the same

Yet, I added Thank You Aurangabad on this list as it’s a reminder to me that there is nothing that I can’t share about. If I think and process it well, it can be shared on my blog. If I have been this courageous, I can definitely be more.

Number 4: 5 things I can’t live without

This post is a list of non-living things I can’t live without. I have purely added this post in this list to remind myself to stop taking things for granted. Each thing adds value to the way you live, to who you are.

These five things on this list are surely a big part of me. Yet, most of them aren’t treated well or taken care of. I am glad I wrote this post and am constantly working on respecting these things. Hopefully, before I complete another year, I’ll have learned to respect these things and more that matter in my life.

Compiling list of non-living things I can’t live without was tough both – as a writer and as a person. It was difficult to reflect and find these things in my everyday life. It was further difficult to write the justification of why I can’t live without these things.

Number 3: Home is a feeling

When I read this title, it took time for me to remember what this post was about. I read it and felt happy that I processed such a thought and posted it. It appears on my favourites list because I think this idea is worth remembering.

I work with children who don’t understand the idea of home. They were rescued from streets and other places and are now living in shelter homes with the company of many children as such. For these kids, the idea of a home that has mom, dad, grandparents etc is as alien as trigonometry is for me.

They make me realize the importance of the home as a shelter to live. When I spend an hour or two of joy with them I learn so much. They make me feel at home. The way I have explained in this post that how a home is a feeling, I wonder in the same way if these kids feel at home around me.

Number 2: River Baby

If you have travelled with me or have read a few of my posts in the past two years, you would know or perhaps have seen how rivers make me mad! I connect to rivers in more than one way and this post gives a glimpse of my love for it.

This post is part of my favourites list because I don’t remember a single low moment around a river. From the twenty-three years on this planet, I only remember my mad moments around rivers.

This post also highlights the need for something that helps you heal. For many in my friend circle it is mountains, and being in a forest or hugging a tree. I believe in the power of nature and all of this works for me too. But, love for the river is infinite!

Number 1! Things I learned from the Crazy Old Man

Uff! Trying to type this one without getting teary-eyed is difficult. The birth of my blog, nurturing my travel seed are starters of why I have so much gratitude for Sir. Everything that this post calls out is why this is my favourite post.

As a writer, it was tough to write this one as it meant to crunch a book of learning into one post. My life would be completely different in so many ways. I would be a different person in a zillion ways if Sir wasn’t part of it.

Today, two years forward or the end of the world, I think I’ll be biased towards this post. I hold too much gratitude for the person I speak of this post. Hopefully, the book I speak of in this post becomes a reality someday.

I hope you enjoyed this read. Kindly find me on Insta @nisha_navgire for feedback.

Let’s begin with Yay! I am successfully finishing two years of my weekly. I am glad that in twists and turns of my life, I and my blog have held onto each other. This is the first post in my celebration series. Hope you enjoy this read.

Starting with sharing my challenges and the way I have faced or have tried to face each. The idea is to understand my challenges better by penning it here so that coming year of weekly improves.

Time

With work, study, travel and family as the priority, it was tough for me to also fit in the blog in my schedule. How did I then make it this far? The answer lies in all the writing time-crunched in my daily and weekly schedule.

I have done much of my blog writing while travelling in a local train, sometimes had ideas and have sat on platforms to pen the complete idea.

Being a morning person, many blog posts were completed before sunrise also at times. Worst were a few where I kept myself up late to finish, not much but yes I did have those all-nighters as well!

I had begun this weekly writing by posting every Sunday. I try hard to stick to this. I think I have posted on Sunday hardly five to six times. My posts got dragged into my week. But I made sure no week was missed. There were almost missed this week moments but didn’t let that happen even once and I believe that has been my biggest achievement!

Self-critique

I had mentioned so in one of my posts too that my biggest challenge is me. I don’t get impressed with me too soon. My blog journal has more rejected ideas than implemented ones. But I don’t stop ideating irrespective of crashing max of them.

As much as being harsh on me hinders my mental stability, it has worked positively for my work. I can surely say that this is the reason that my blog over the years hasn’t lost quality. There can be a few posts here and there but overall, it has maintained a standard.

There are a few people with whom I share my blog before I broadcast it to the world. These people help me keep it real. They give me a reality check with the quality of my posts. These are also the people who haunt me down each week for my post.

Courage to share

Ugh! I don’t know will I ever get over this challenge. I don’t share my blog much. A few broadcasts, that’s it. I am not a virtually active person, a few Instagram posts, little chats, that’s it.

It is not me to keep doing the virtual social thing. It becomes difficult to, therefore, to keep flagging my blog on all such platforms. I don’t know how to find a mid-way to this. Any suggestions on how to overcome or face this challenge you have, please write to me. Thank You.

@nisha_navgire for sharing any ideas.

I was in my regular quest for a post when I stumbled upon a question. This question hit me like a bullet. I was hanging in the local train, commuting to work when I read it and it did feel like I was hanging in the middle of nowhere…

If you had all the time in the world, what would you want to do first?

It took me a while to imagine the first part of it. “If I had all the time in the world…” I closed my eyes and I reached some scene where I am climbing a mountain, the train jerked and the Dombivli crowd got me back to reality from my la-la land.

Is climbing mountains the only thing? No, the question says ‘all the time’, so then there is much more I would want to do. Learning the beginner’s one-month mountaineering course in Sikkim, investing money in my blog, learning Telegu, are few things that cruised through my head…

I did more of the thinking and got like a hundred more things I would want to do if I had all the time in the world. But then I re-read the question. The second part of it asked what would I do first?

I am in general also bad at priotarizing things on my to do list. I wish to do it all and end up with a load of to dos undone. That’s exactly my situation right now, and the perfect reason why I haven’t done a few of the things I wished to do since my birthday in April.

Going back to the hundred things that I wished to do if I had all the time, what out of it would I wish to do first? The mountaineering course? Every weekend trek (not trip) in Sahyadri? Learn my mother tongue? Uff. This is tough. Tougher than surviving in a mumbai local train.

When I got down from my chaotic ride, I gained clarity about the question. I thought what is the purpose of this question? It isn’t to make someone dive deep in thoughts, it isn’t a question to make one understand about priority eiher. Or is it?

I had in April, made a list of things I wish to learn and do before my next birthday. It made me cringe to see what all I planned and the little I executed. But, I believe the question is also about hope. If I haven’t done it yet, is there a way I can try to do it?

Yes, of course. The list made in April wasn’t so unrealistic. I haven’t made enough efforts. I haven’t been true to my Blog tagline – “All that you wish to do is possible if you push yourself enough to do it”

I planned October month in a way to make sure a few of the things I wished to learn can be done. I am not entire sure of its full execution but I have promised myself of enough efforts!

Take some time and answer the question I began this post with. Think through your asnwers and see what is it that can realistically fit your schedule. Afterall, your life is what you think, what you do and not what you keep wishing!

I begin to journal every day, sometimes twice a day. It became an essential part of my past week’s routine. It was due to the constant need to tell myself to calm down.

I have been panicking over one thing for weeks. And unfortunately, every other tiny problem in my life decided to meet and greet me with open arms at the same time. And hence, to journal every day became the need of the moment.

I didn’t have any mental space to think and be creative for this week’s post. I felt choked till my nose with work pressure and my correspondence course assignments. It was already half the week and I couldn’t let the week go without a post.

I decided to go through my journal entries for the past few weeks to find a post and I found what I was searching for. I have crunched and written a few of them below.

8th September 2019, Sunday

One thing that I do annually from last year is to attend this Ganpati Aarti at my friend’s house. This year’s experience again was as soulful as it could be.

There was a child who wished to play the taal, but since someone elderly was better at playing it, he wasn’t given one. I can’t see a child frown, I just had to get him the taal, and I did, his smile on receiving it from me was priceless!

But what was more worthy was to see him struggle how to play it throughout the aarti. So many people helped him, he took the advice of all and tried to match up to the rhythm of the hymns.

I was standing beside the grandma like last time. She is always looking up to me wondering why I don’t lipsync the entire hymns along with all the people. But finally this time they sang one hymn which I did knew and I sang it with full confidence.

She looked at me, held my hand and smiled. I smiled back. The moment felt serene. Sometimes it’s beautiful how without a word, conversations happen that touch your soul. Yes, I am a writer but I am a sucker for such priceless smiles and wordless moments!

10th September 2019, Tuesday

I and my team leader were to visit a hospital near Haji Ali for work. We finished our work early and decided to go to the Durgah.

We both walked to the holy place reminiscing the last time we had been there as children. How both our families had bought us here, how our vague memories of the time still made us smile. We both cringed to the dirt that surrounded the place and missed how it looked when we were younger.

When we reached the main sanctum, we sat quietly. She asked for duas and then we both sat there silently observing the calmness of the place. After a while, she explained to me many basic things that Islam follows. It felt refreshing to gain knowledge about something I had zero clues of.

Soon we stepped out of the Durgah and since it was low tide we walked to the stones. We walked till a bit and sat a little far from stones that were getting hit by the waves. We conversed about the most random things, observed crabs around us, ignored humans around us and tried to focus on the beautiful lushing sound of the waves.

We both know how mad the work has been making us both. It felt like we were being blessed for being earnest at what we did so far and the experience felt like a motivation to keep going.

17th September 2019, Tuesday

I reached Dadar station early. The travel was tiresome and I sat at the platform for a while before getting into the next train to my destination. I was listening to some loud music to keep me awake when he approached.

“Will you write this Bank application for me?”

Sorry, I didn’t get you.

“My name is DK Salian, I want to close my Bank account and I need help with writing this application. Are you getting late, can you help me please?”

I had time in hand and my gut said the man was genuine. I wrote the application for him while he kept repeating “you won’t get late to work, it is okay no?” I finished the application and my train also arrived by then. He said thank you, we shook hands and I left.

Thank You, DK Salian. You made me believe that the world isn’t evil. That it is still a world where we can reach out to strangers for help and receive it too. That it is still a world where we can be there for each other without being BFFs. That it is still a world where humanity rules overall.

I was busy cribbing about my life decisions, struggling with work and ad mist so much of my own made chaos that I didn’t realize that life happened to me. They say the beauty of life lies in smaller things and moments as such. Being too much into my things I couldn’t appreciate things that I got blessed within the background.

“Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.” – John Lennon. These words came to life for me through my journal entries!

When mom had bought our flat nineteen years ago we had a barren land on one side and road on another. It feels like life completed a full circle now as again the land besides has become barren. It will soon be home for humans unlike it was for nineteen years for birds and strays.

I am skimming through the workdays and the course that I am studying is giving me a different headache. My mind wasn’t at its best for the past few days. It was reflecting at everything I had in hand.

Yesterday when I came home from work, I saw the trees being chopped and the little hope keeping me up just crashed with the trees. Result of such low? I called my younger cousin and we sat at a local bar as I sipped my sorrows.

I love to happy high. I hate what I did last night. But I just couldn’t afford another night of crying and sleeping. At least I slept peacefully. Never drinking when sad again, note and reminder set to self!

I have always seen alcoholism as something for the weak. Something that is done by the people who can’t handle their things properly. And this is the reason why for the majority of college days I stayed away from it and to an extent even people who did it.

Last night I had become one of the many I stayed away from in those days. But unlike my usual drunk nights, I don’t regret this one. As I remember everything and I know I didn’t create a lot of trouble for my younger cousin to handle. Yes, it sucks to think that I drank sadly and not drank happily like I usually enjoy but it wasn’t too bad.

More than anything, it felt like living twenty-three! For once, I used my money on me, for once I didn’t think much of what will happen next, for once I did what I decided for me, for once I didn’t care of what people would think, for once I wasn’t ashamed of how sad I felt, for once, I accepted me, as is.

“dhunde har ik saas mai, dubkiyon k baad mai,
har bhawar k paas, kinare…
beh rahe jo sath mai, jo hamare khas the,
kar gaye apni baat, kinare…
agar manjhi sare sath mai gair ho bhi jaye,
toh khud hi toh pathwar ban, paar honge ham,
jo chotisi har ek lehar, sagar ban bhi jaye,
koi tinka lekar hath mai, dhoond lenge ham, kinare…”
– Kinare (Queen)

Last night was my dubki! I had enough of life and got drowned in it. But, I have never let the low pull me so much down that I can’t come up. I pulled my own life jacket and am had a productive work day. Yes, life sucks now but I am not going to stop from my doing my best at everything – my work, my studies, my travel or even my blog!

Everyone has their low days but what you do after these days is what moulds you. How you become your own life jacket after a dubki is all that matters.

The barren land changed from being unproductive for cultivation to being a hub for birds and strays. It will now again change and become a home for humans. How was the land ever barren? It was always useful to someone.

Exactly what I should learn from it. To look at everything happening as a phase. To accept whatever comes my way and do the best of it. I am not going to let the big building coming soon in the near future make me cringe.

I will not crib about the beautiful days of birds and strays around. Instead, I’ll look at this building and question myself if I am making the most of what I have?

It is normal and okay to feel drowned. But, I hope you find the kinara after your dubki too! @nisha_navgire on Insta for sharing your dubki k baad stories !

The week after a trek is usually relaxed. I take the positive energy into my week. But this time I couldn’t. This time the week drained out of me the little positivity I gained from the trek. I was empty within by the time Saturday arrived.

I was neck deep in my work and I flowed through the week. I plan and do my work well but this week I just flowed. There was something pricking me so hard I couldn’t give my work my best shot. I wasn’t even writing my daily journals properly.

Along with my job I am doing a correspondence Masters’ Course in Social Work. However the University I am doing it from turned out to have really bad management. They haven’t given assignment questions to be submitted by the end of September. I lose a year if I don’t submit the assignment on time.

I have never even failed an exam, leave alone an entire year. How could this not prick me within, kill me inside and ruin everything else I was doing this week? I felt worse one night. All of these thoughts kept coming at me again and again. I couldn’t sleep.

Next day I met someone after long. I was trying to meet this person for weeks. I was almost in tears when we didn’t meet last week. But in the middle of the week, I got blessed to meet this person. This meeting felt like life stroking my head saying ‘it is all right, you’ll sail through.’ I slept peacefully after I came home that night.

Few days went in haze and I was alive again on Saturday. I was nominated by my organization to be at the American School of Bombay for a Professional Learning Course. I was fed with so much information within a few hours I felt recouped. The things I was taught, the people I met, the experience of this entire day made me feel that there is more to life than the way I am looking at it.

I thought of all the possibilities of what my future could become. For once, more than making me afraid, it made me feel okay. I accepted what my life as is and tried to make peace with what it could become.

Before Saturday, I feared to tell myself the consequences. I was thinking and not accepting the wrong that could happen. After a full day of learning when I finally told myself that it is okay and accepted every possibility of my future is when I finally felt alright.

So the key to getting out of a fear of future or the next level of it being anxiety or panicking is to accept all possibilities your future can behold. Face it. Confront to yourself the worst possibilities. Accept these possibilities and you are halfway done with the battle.

It took two wet pillow nights, one meeting with a friend and one whole day of new learning for me to face life as is and deal with it. It took another round of talking to friends to be able to write about it here.

Let’s face it and accept life as is to grow better.
I hope these words reach all in need of it.
@nisha_navgire on Insta for sharing anything.