9 Weeks, 9 Words : Patience

Living my last 9 weeks at my first job with a series of 9 posts that shall try to embrace every aspect learned from this job. Words mean more when stories are attached to it and in every sense I have learned the meaning of these 9 words. Read through the series and hopefully there is something in store for you too

Patience

Second word that I learned the meaning of is Patience. This word wasn’t new to me, though my job renewed its existence in my dictionary.

In the fast paced life I don’t have to wait for anything. From learning something new to reaching out to a family member abroad, everything is right there in no time.

Patience knocked my door when I was at my job explaining something to a colleague. We both share the same backgrounds and had many things in common but she wasn’t still getting a word of what I was trying to put forward, nor was she listening to me. I used the internet but to no avail.

In that moment I realized that patience exists because people do, no two people can have same level of understanding and adapting things and so patience is the key for co-existence. This is exactly why there is so much intolerance about a zillion things these days.

‘You are so thin, I think you should eat more bananas,’ Aunty 1 in train.

‘You are short as well, I think eggs is also good,’ Aunty 2 in train.

Before I respond with a fake smile they are having a discussion about what I should and shouldn’t eat. This time I knocked out patience from my mental home when they said the next thing.

‘I think your mother doesn’t care much and hence you look like this’ both echoed

I lost it, completely. I am sure they will remember each and every beautiful word I uttered for the next few minutes and some peaceful silence followed. These aunties never talk to me now and I couldn’t be gladder.

Over the years of my train travel I have faced many such aunties and now I hardly react to anyone. I realized not everything should be given a reaction. When an office colleague targeted me on a similar topic, I didn’t react, everyone else in the room asked him to stop apart from me. Sometimes it is easier to let go than reacting.

Patience caught my hand as I found how indecisive my boss is. I have written many things twice, the same exact thing twice because at first it didn’t make sense to her and later it magically did. And so many ways I can’t jot down our start up suffered because my boss couldn’t take decisions on time.

I figured that patience is not about gulping in what you feel. It is about talking your emotions to yourself before you blurt it out. Now when I know that there is an important decision to be taken by my boss, I take all possible good and bad consequences of the decision and it helps. Since there are all possibilities in front of her, her decision becomes clearer. But this couldn’t be possible if I didn’t have patience by my side.

Experimental series, feedback would help me improve.
DM @nishanavgire on insta, would love to hear from you!

Not continuing this series on purpose. Tried hard to, sorry for disappointing.
Hopefully I make up to you with rest of my articles. Thank You.

March 18, 2018

9 Weeks, 9 Words : Conscious

Conscious

The very reason to have this series is to be able to sail through the last few weeks. I have no reason why I should continue going to work as my admission for masters is sorted and I can focus on it. There is nothing but my conscious that stops me from doing so, and pulls me to work every day.

Other than my conscious I wanted another reason to go to work so I have started this series. And as explained above, conscious is the word I am relating stories to this week.

It could be the way my boss speaks or sometimes how my travel to work was or anything else, I tend to easily let it affect it with the kind of work we do. And when this happens my conscious kills me within. Now, after a lot of efforts I rarely let something affect my work, I work no matter what!

There are times when I had to choose between two things, being honest and going home on time. This decision was difficult as my inner self tells me it is wrong to lie at the same time; the same self doesn’t wish to be home late. At the end, I reached home late.

This is how strong my conscious is. I have cried in toilets of various places alone because I did something, said something I shouldn’t have and my conscious whipped me within.

At work, I have had days when I was given complete responsibility of something and I screwed it up. I was sorry for it and I was forgiven too but again, my conscious wasn’t done yet. It made sure I screwed up work of the next few days as well. And, of course I wasn’t forgiven this time.

This made me realize that I was harsh on myself, and when I thought more on it, it wasn’t the first time. I have been harsh on myself in past without realizing it. I haven’t yet but it is at the top of my learning list, to forgive myself.

I wish to give my best at what I am asked to do and even what I am not asked to do. I just have this strong urge to do things right always and when that doesn’t happen, I am disappointed, my conscious within is boiling, about to kill me. (Yup, this part of me is much of Monica from Friends)

I keep forgetting that I am only human and bound to make mistakes especially at a job which I have zero understanding of. Over time, I learned new things but I still can’t forget or forgive all the mistakes I have done since day 1. Hopefully, by the end of my last nine weeks I’ll forgive and forget.

Experimental series, feedback would help me improve.
DM @nishanavgire would love to hear from you!

Not continuing this series on purpose. Tried hard to, sorry for disappointing.
Hopefully I make up to you with rest of my articles. Thank You.

March 11, 2018

Funny Guy

About you funny guy
I am unable to decide
Whether I should come and express
Or let it be within me
Should I tell you
How I feel
Should I tell you
How you make me feel
About you funny guy
I am not sure
How you will react
To the volcanoes of emotions
To the thunder storm of feelings
To the flood of hormones
I feel
When I am around you
Funny guy
Do you have a single clue of this?
Slighest idea?
Tell me you do
Tell me you feel the same
Tell me you are as attracted to me as I am
Tell me, I am beautiful
Tell me, you care
I am sorry funny guy
I feel desperate
And it feels like a rebound
And so wrong in my head
To come and express to you
What I feel
As it is, telling someone what I feel is difficult
And in trivial matters as such
I feel I am not capable enough
I don’t feel I deserve you
But I definitely feel for you
And hope to tell you one day

I send in this poem, expressing what I felt.
I got a poem back as a response, stay tuned to read that!

March 3, 2018

BRO Quotes

It is like the drive up Nathu La

was listening to music,

while the drive down

understanding the lyrics.

As the ride took little pace

suddenly I saw a picture of my dad

yes, in my driver

it usually happens to me when

I speak to elderly men

The climate outside was getting cooler

As we drived up

But monsoon had began within

As my cheeks felt the showers

Each horrible memory of my childhood

Playing like a movie

It wasn’t Sanam my driver

It was his warm personality

Also he was too handsome to be my dad

Whenever I see a good elderly man

I think what if even a percent of this man my dad would be

So different each day of my childhood would be

Then suddenly a BRO Quote appears

“Tough times don’t last, tough people do”

So true I murmured under my breath

Sanam, was kind

He felt the vibe

He shared how he misses his small daughter

But this made my rain showers

Become silent thunder storms

Sanam didn’t know what went wrong

As I was already a bit low

But ‘missing’ the word only

Reminded me of my sister

How I wished to be there

At the airport, to wish her goodbye

To tell her, in one way or another

Intentionally or no

She did shape me into the person

I have turned out to be

but I am an awkward human

I know I wouldn’t have said so

If I was there, would have

Helped her and may be hugged her

And her behaviour would as ususal

Make me wish to stab her

Again a BRO Quote I read

“BRO it is never too late”

I wonder if it was to

Tell my sister what she means to me

Or to stab her

Smiling slightly I got down near a lake

Me and Sanam caught hands, had a quite walk

Without a single word

Just absorbing the beauty of the place

Silently, admist the touristy chaos

Just before I entered the jeep again

I saw a mother trying to save her small kid

From the cold, she held him inside her own jacket

I tried to see her till the last moment

The climate changed outside

As the clouds started covering the roads

So did the stormy clouds cover my heart

And heavy rains made my only tutle neck sweater wet

First time in the ride my crying made a sound

However I am too good making it feel

Like a cough & nose cleaning sound

How could I let her be alone

In a moment I knew she would need me the most

Dad is never there when needed

Grandma had left us abrubtly

Neha had to leave

How could I have been so selfish

And come for this IV?

I read a BRO Quote again

“BRO look on the bright side”

For the first time ever

I smiled in the middle of tears

Yes I thought

Wasn’t it all worth it

To be here, in the middle of clouds

And with these people #onelasttime

Meeting so many people

Formally and on the roads

I had consoled myself

As we almost reached Gangtok

When again a BRO Quote appeared

“BRO you live only once”

As if summing up my entire

Emotional Turmoil in the drive down

Sanam and BRO Quotes became my new BROs

I am not sure of meeting these BROs again

But they have given me a lesson

I will rewind again and again

February 25, 2018

The Balance – II

‘What’s your name?’

‘Nisha’

‘What’s your full name’

‘Nisha Navgire’

‘Okay, so what are you?’

This question expects a certain answer, and if it doesn’t receive it, there are high chances of the person asking it being offended. And I can definitely have a degree at offending people in this context as my answers usually don’t fit in what is expected.

And this is precisely why I avoid all social gatherings. These gatherings are highly important to my mom. An example can be the wedding of x person who is related to me in a chain which is perhaps more complicated than the political situation in this country.

The situation above is a tiny glimpse of the kind of social pressure to be boxed into a religion. If not what you believe in, the thing that satisfies such questions is what were you born into. But, if I don’t believe in the religion I was born into, what’s the point of telling it?

I believe there has to be a space, where in a person can speak up and say, I don’t understand my or any religion and I don’t wish to either. A person anywhere around this world should be given a choice to know, understand, learn and grow in a religion he or she wants to.

Twenty two or sixty two, it’s okay to not know what your religion is, what faith you belong to. I didn’t for the longest and I am still not sure if I do. It is really fine.

Just as education in this country which is ‘take it all in and please vomit it in exam’ religion is too. It is ‘take it all in from the time you are born and vomit it all over till you die.’ I envy the very few friends I know who were part of families where they could question, understand, learn and grow into the religion they were born into.

These guys are the most sorted as they completely understand what they believe in and why and also have total understanding of the ‘co-existence of various religions.’

I was only born into a religion, the latter part of knowing, understanding didn’t really happen. I was supposed to figure it out myself. I began my quest to find the ‘perfect’ religion to imbibe. Only to realize such a thing doesn’t exist.

Over twenty something years on this planet I realized there is no perfect religion as each has been at the end made by a human. And no human can be perfect, there has to be loop holes. After I figured this, I decided to take the good out of each religion I come across, over the years I live.

But the next question is does God exist? If religion at its base is made by humans, is God fictional to human minds or a reality known to few? This is where for me the word, balance comes into play.

You can be completely from the side of science and might deny the existence of God, or believe in its existence from all your heart and soul, but if you are neither, if you have related to the text above these two paragraphs then balance is the word for you.

In the flowing river, in the steady mountains, in the crawling clouds, in the flying birds, in the tiniest insect and the biggest mammal, in each of these and much more that I have witnessed of nature, is where for me God dwells in.

So for me there exists God, but I still am not sure of my religion. And question here really is why, why does one need a religion? There can be many answers to it, a general one I wish to consider here is for humans to live in a fashion which helps them last on this planet for long and in harmony.

If the above has to be considered as a base, I believe I have found my religion. My God is dwelling in nature. Main motto of my religion is humanity. And for humans to live longer on this planet, protecting it the way it has always been.

This all can make sense to you or not, point for this explanation of my frame on this subject if for you to grasp balance in this situation. Is for you to understand that in a society where on basis of religion there is violence and ever increasing intolerance I wish for you to have balance. A balance of understanding what your faith is (if there is) and what you behave in the name of this faith.

So what are you? What do you believe in?
Let’s share ideas on this, DM me on Instagram @nishanavgire

February 18, 2018

The Balance – I

I never found myself to be a complete introvert, or completely an extrovert. But after a bit of research I found this quote and it made me feel better. “There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert.” Carl Jung. He proposed that each individual has both introverted and extroverted side and it depends on what takes predominance over the other.

Jung said that there is middle and its being an Ambivert. An ambivert is a person who has a balance of the traits of an introvert and extrovert. For example, a person, who requires and enjoys time with self, such a person also rejoices time with people.

Yes, I am this personality type, I need my time and I also need time with people. I was so glad to know this. And this is one of the reasons why, I either am into a person and share everything I wish or I am not at all. Being an ambivert is why I either come out to be as introverts to some people and extroverts to few.

I am still in contact with the guide I met in Manali but I am not with ‘friends’ from school. The people I travel with know a different me than my friends from college. The bond I share with mom is similar to two of close friends. I recently connected to a person from college, outside of college. I am in touch with only two people from school and share a unique bond with both.

We all connect to different people on different levels. Each connection is special in its own way. It need not be boxed in to friends, close friends, best friends, family etc.

You just know it when you connect to someone. It can be in a train journey, in a party, in a formal meeting anywhere. It is also the other way round. You just know it when you don’t connect with someone and there is some friction. Best example can be that one friend in your entire college group you don’t talk to, share with or in my words ‘feel connected’ with.

I have lost people in my life because I stopped feeling connected to them on any level. For good or bad I don’t know, but there wasn’t a thing that made me stay in touch. I did try to on many levels but it didn’t work. This is when I started living on the word connection more than friendship.

In this fast paced life why pressure oneself and make promises of being there when you know apart from a few people you really can’t be there for all?

You be there in need for someone and that’s enough. This need can be of someone you just met in train or knew for years from school, what matters is being there at the right time, being approachable. This also helps you to be detached and not dependent.

We as a generation are growing up to be more virtual. The need to share what you are doing and with whom is becoming more important than what you actually are doing. We are at one point all guilty of some event we went to where we did nothing but update it on social media.

The important point here to be aware of what one is doing. And try to strike a balance between being in the virtual and connecting in the real world, being there for people in real and acknowledging the power of the virtual. Just like an ambivert who balances the introvert and extrovert traits, the need of the day is to balance the real and virtual.

Know when to be in real and how to use the virtual for your benefit
and life will become magical wherever you head to.

February 11, 2018

A trip of Faith

I was stuck on a small patch with hardly some grip and a group of thorn shrubs, trying to find my way up. Three people crossed me, I tried to follow but just couldn’t. I felt stuck with three people ahead, rest too behind to help. What next?

A fourth person came by, I followed him, figured my way to top, and oh my, it was all so worth it! I could see layers of mountains before me romancing with clouds. The breeze welcomed me to their world and within moments I was lost! I poured my heart out in that moment, hoping that the mountains would listen, understand and help. Aha before that, time for a two-day flashback.

The first long weekend of the year was planned. Thursday night to Sunday night, all set to cover the Balgan Range in Maharashtra. I came home from work and within an hour left for the big trip ahead of me, and of course felt I didn’t pack properly.

We took a train to Kasara and had a 4-5 hour night ride to the base village of the first fort in plan-Nhavigadh. Hardly a few slept in train and everyone tried to sleep in the vehicle to the base village, I still wonder how many succeeded to get some sleep.

Outside the window I could see the moonlight shining on the fields though I couldn’t see the moon. There were thoughts about the day, my work, home, decisions about education I need to take etc. My head going in pace with the vehicle, I tried to sing along the songs but it didn’t work, my mind just loves creating chaos. This is when I realized, I hadn’t packed properly, I didn’t pack myself.

We were 14 people cramped up in a vehicle for 12 I suppose, so when we finally reached the base village Nhavigadh, we all did some stretches. But normal stretching is so bore, I instead had a race with my cousin, it was so refreshing, I finally packed myself, out of my chaotic mind, into a few days of just nothing, but me, the places I was going to and the people I was with!

Finally the climb of the first fort began, and the sun decided to rise up with us and bless us as if wishing us luck for the entire trip ahead. Wherever we were, we all sat down in awe.

No one amongst us had been to the fort and hence finding a way to the top was a task. A few went up, tried to find a way but couldn’t. A friend ahead of me said, we could try a route he could see ahead, I said let’s try and we did, we found the right way! A yay moment for me as I am pathetic with directions & everything in geography that way, but this changed in the course of the trip!

We hoisted the national flag on this fort as we do always when we trek on national holidays and began to head down. We had some amaze chai from a local house and headed to the next forts in plan.

We barely had some breakfast and took some cucumbers and other fruits to carry as we started the climb of Mangi-Tungi. Both are nothing but caves with jain structures carved in them. This place gives the feel of a typical tourist spot, with chitter-chatter and trash all over.

I was walking with a friend and talking about how there are two parallel worlds we are living in, one where we are reaching the best of technology and the other where we are simply destroying the way nature has always been.

I hadn’t even finished saying my entire thought when a monkey came by and snatched the fruits out of my friend’s hand. This took me back to when I saw the langoors ruling the Ranthambore fort. What are we doing to the wild? Where are we heading? This thought still makes me numb.

There were about more than thousand steps to the top and from there another 300 something to Tungi and over a 200 on the other side to Manghi. Whoever decided to not let the climb to these two places be naturally through the mountains as with other forts in Maharashtra and create these steps and make it touristy, thank you, you ruined a beautiful mountain and probably its soul will come and haunt you. When we reached the top, I saw newly made structures kept in front of the old carvings, this to me felt like flowers on the tomb of the dead mountain.

When we finally came down, I was hungry but my wish to eat had died. I didn’t feel too good about the experience. But as the good old saying said by nobody goes, ‘a dog can change your mood’ is true! I met a cute doggo and it all got undone.

We went to the base village Mulher, of the next forts in plan and climbed up half way to stay in a temple. People from the group cooked some amaze dinner as I slept through the whole process, woke up only to enjoy the pulao with some pickle. Next day morning, we got up, had our “pahado-wali-maggi” and left for the big day ahead.

This trip I didn’t carry my camera because I had a terrible pain in my left shoulder. I didn’t wish to make my camera a burden for someone else to carry. A decision I still can’t make peace with.This decision caused me a lot of frames, as they will now be only in my mind.

I did manage to capture a few from my phone and few in the phones of people I walked ahead with. The only positive part of this decision was I felt I lived in the moment, helped finding ways, more than I do usually when I trip with camera and phone on me.

We figured our way to Hargadh with a lot of trial and error. I had wild flowers on my head for company throughout, the time spent in the shades and the frequent embrace of the breeze made the journey magical. We took our group picture with the huge canon on the fort, saw the massive view of the mountains and moved to the next fort in plan, Muler.

Now the heat was creating hindrance in the climb but we managed to reach Muler as the way wasn’t as tough as the previous fort. We had lunch and explored the fort. We completed Muler and left for Mora immediately. The map below shall help you figure this out.

I was ahead most of the time with a few people for company. And as the two forts done in the day were tiresome the speed of the group had slowed down. This to my advantage gave me some time with the mountains just below the base of Mora fort.

I began to pour my heart out and felt like I was being heard. The mountain responded with the help of breeze and the swifts trying to fly. I decided I won’t climb up Mora and be here with the mountains for a while. My cousin convinced me otherwise and I began climbing with him.

When we reached the top, the sun decided to bless us again, this time it showed in slo-mo how it goes down. This was one of the best sunsets I ever saw. It felt like I ticked off from my bucket list in one trip, the best sunrise and sunset!

We got down from Mora fort and reached the base village Saler of next forts in plan, Saler and Salota. We ate breakfast and left early as planned. I had ignored my shoulder pain all this while but it was the third continuous trek day and now my shoulder said it couldn’t take anymore.

There was no moving back, there was no other way, I told my shoulder to take in one more day and then no more. The conversation with my shoulder ended abruptly as my mind had a new thing to focus on, to get out of the no grip with only shrubs around situation.

When I got out of the place I was stuck, I went up and lied down for a while begging my shoulder to shut up, it kept saying give up give up and I kept ignoring. I finally was woken up by a really strong breeze as if sent by the mountains to wake me up.

The mountains said, the no grip-shrubs around situation you were stuck in, is just like you in your life right now. There are successful people ahead of you and there are people way behind as well. You took one leap of faith and you reached here to converse with me. That’s all you need to do, have faith, and take a leap of faith.

I received the answer I was looking for during my Ranthambore trip. Within a few days after this trip I put down papers at my job and enrolled myself in a course I always wished to do. A leap of faith taken, what lies ahead, time alone shall tell.

I was happy high the rest of the climb to Salota and Saler. I sang and danced to the mountains to thank them the entire day. The two songs on repeat were “Aas Paas Hai Khuda” and “Tu hai Aasma Mai”

When I saw a new trekker with us reach Saler, the last fort in plan, I felt motivated. It made me realize, that this trip was all about faith. She had faith and she did it. At Saler, the highest fort in Maharashtra, the clutter in my find finally cleared.

As always, I didn’t wish to leave the mountains, with a heavy heart and happy mind I trekked down. We reached back to Kalyan in time as planned and a beautiful trip ended with some tasty chicken and chapatis.

I hope this blog inspires you to travel and makes you believe in the power of nature.
I am planning to have a solo trip this year, to explore more facets of me & my bond with nature , if you have any suggestions, find me on Insta @nishanavgire !

February 3, 2018

2017 ended well!

“This is a good spot I’ll tell you the story here” said our guide at the Ranthambore fort as our group stood aside to listen.

He spoke for about 10 minutes. Some laughed, some tried to control it and almost everyone was giggly the whole time. He indeed did tell a story, actually tell would be a small word as he narrated the story in fashion of some theatre artist’s monologue. He was really good at it but sadly I doubt if there was even one fact in the whole fancy speech!

Like me if you have been to many forts in Maharashtra, Ranthambore fort can be a disappointment as there isn’t a rock patch, a difficult pathway to climb and all. Having said that, the fort does give a magnificent feel though I was shocked to meet the current rulers!

Langoors rule the Ranthambore fort now, there is a beautiful history to the fort, read books on it as the guides and Wikipedia are a waste, but hey, trust me langoors rule them now. They are all over the place and live definitely like the Maharajas!

I kept thinking that night what will happen if the other wild animals start behaving like the langoors and depend on humans for food. I definitely didn’t sleep well that night but little did I know what was in store on the first safari next morning!

There were around 20 of us in the safari canter and suddenly we spot a sambar deer in alert position signalling that the ruler of the jungle is around. And then for the next 20mins slowly I disappeared into a whole new world.

Yes, I was fortunate enough to spot a tiger and also for so long. It was magical. I for moments was lost into a world where it was only the tiger, me and my lens and I was happy there.

But my bubble would break and I would realize I am with humans around and many jeeps too which were freaking the tiger, I did see the kind of angst in her eyes, the one that you feel for those uninvited cheesy guests at your home!

Since the very first safari gave such a beautiful feeling all the other safaris felt what we have as kids felt when the neighbour kid tops the class! Many around me kept comparing the first safari experience to the rest and obviously felt sad.

I was sure of not being able to see the tiger in the next few safaris that were planned because I knew it that my luck was kind once and I shouldn’t expect much of it. I was therefore keen on spotting and clicking more birds, trying to figure out name of trees and actually live my moments in the jungle.

When we got to Bharatpur we visisted the Bird Sanctuary and this time the experience with the guide was totally different. We walked about good 5kms and back again so around 10kms early in the morning. There were many human noises, a constant creaky sound of the parrot yet our guide Sanjay ji was able to figure out bird calls.

The best moment was when he said I heard a hornbill call and walked swift ahead I followed him and bang we saw the hornbill, and as the rest of the group approached we all saw it fly by, yes I luckily did manage to get a click of it.

Sanjay ji wasn’t the best at communication by which I mean he couldn’t at once communicate to the entire group but he was good talking one on one about birds, recognizing bird calls. He definitely had a lot of knowledge and his active sensory organs made me feel guilty of losing my good eye sight to tech and my ears to have lived so much in chaotic voices that it can’t pick up sweet bird calls!

And so, overall my five day trip to Ranthambore and Bharatpur was beautiful and definitely had a wonderful end to my year. If you are even a percent lover of birds, please visit Bharatpur once.

Also, if you need any guidance on how to be good orators and grab attention please visit Ranthambore fort. Check my Instagram @nishanavgire for photo updates of this trip.

January 21, 2018

Respecting Life

Have you also delayed work when you had too much time to do it? Wasted the holidays in between exams and struggled to study on the last day? Something similar happened with me this week.

I had time from Friday to work on my blog and I started to ideate finally on Sunday afternoon. The reason for the delay was due to the chaos in my mind. I tried to pen down my thoughts but failed. I wept within, I cried a bit before sleep.

I was yearning to write, I was too distracted perhaps. I felt miserable for being so. And just when I thought it will get better, it got worse. I was taken back to a moment I never wish to relive.

A moment I wish didn’t exist. It’s been a year, I didn’t know how to react then, I don’t know how to react now. It’s the kind of moment that makes you cringe, makes you feel weak. Death is a truth I don’t think I can ever make peace with.

Today marks a year ever since I first lost someone. I had a unique bond with her. My grandmother taught me many things. I still sometimes feel she will turn up out of somewhere and ask me to play a game of cards with her. My heart sinks to sorrow when my brain tells me that this won’t happen.

I went to her cemetery; I went to the prayer service. I shared the sorrow with people and came back home. I took my book and pen and realized what I’ll write this week.

It’s okay to lose
Life is not about winning
its about living
it’s about making it worth living
Losing someone close can feel terrible
Being dead alive is even worse
Make a mark till you have breath
like grandma did
make each day count like she did
and life will be beautiful
have faith, smile and spread love

The above is what I wrote. It’s the gist of what I wish to say with this post.

I like things planned, I love to do things as I plan them. It irritates me when the plans goes wrong, or if I fail to plan something. I am unable to plan what I wish to do with my future and this is the core of the clutter in my head right now.

This thought clashed with everything productive I wish to do. It didn’t let be at peace. But, today when I came home from the prayer service I realized how blessed I am to be alive, to breathe.

I don’t know who you are, and your struggles in life. But, I wish you respect your life, the way its shaping to be. Life is not meant to be easy. I have tried to accept death as a truth and started respecting its rival more now. I’ll try my best to live better, grow.
I hope you are able to do so too.

January 14, 2018

Do It Right

I got to finally blogging every week, maintained a travel book, a monthly planner, an ideation book, read many books, drew few doodles/drawings and wrote poems for Insta posts. In one sentence, this is my entire 2017.

I didn’t write poetry until Jan last year. There was a certain amount of fear I had about poetry especially looking at the way it has all expanded over the internet. It scared me. Like a big canvas.

I realized, when you first start drawing in school you start from a small book and not on a canvas. That’s exactly what I did with my poetry.

I started with whatever images I had and started writing poetry on each. Over the year I gained courage and wrote few poems on various pictures I clicked during my travels and made sure I pushed myself to post it on my Insta profile.

I felt similar fear with doodling too. Doodling on A4 page scared me. When I cut it into four parts I doodled with confidence and results looked good too. Also, I realized I doodle or draw more when I need clarity of thoughts. I observed that after a bit of drawing, doodling I was able to pen down thoughts fluently.

Chaos in my mind is a common thing as I am one of them who over thinks too. So I always keep with me few small white papers and loads of stationary for safety.

IMG_20180107_135024162 — Some doodling/drawing from last year which managed to look good

Untill last year I would read one book in like 2-3 months. I would always want to read more but never would end up doing so. I tried to figure out why this was happening. I never read anything on weekends and during big trips. The only time I read sincerely was daily in local trains.

So I tricked myself and kept two books in my bag. I read one while going to work and other on my way back. In a span of a month, I finished both. I have decided to keep this habit going and continue reading more this year around.

One of the biggest achievement last year personally was being able to write my blog every week. And this I would completely credit to the other big change in my life, my first job.

Being at work 5 days of the week made me realize the importance of spending time on something I love to do. The thought of losing the core of my being due to a job terrified me and hence I kept writing every week.

As a reflex reaction to calm my body, I traveled. I have said it before and I say it again, travelling in a way is my therapy, a way I heal myself. And therefore a huge part of me is inclined towards it. I know come what may, I’ll be travelling various places this year around too.

To do it right, to achieve what you want I suggest figure out your body clock. I am a morning person and I end up ideating and being more productive in the morning. Figure this out, it will ease the process of achieving what you want.

Figure out how you function, tap your own habits. Like how I figured when I read the most and when I didn’t. Analyse yourself and try to absorb your natural behaviour into the tasks you wish to do.

At the end of the day, only you can help your boat sail. Making resolutions is merely saying it. I would suggest don’t say, make your boat sail through it, do it and do it right.

I have penned down here how I managed to do it right, I hope it inspires you to have a more productive year. All the best!

My last week of the year was beautiful in Ranthambore, Rajasthan.
A post on the travel coming up soon. Until then, my insta (@nishanavgire)
will have pictures from the trip with poems of course!

January 7, 2018