My first mistake is about this one person I loved, my first love. After five years, my first mistake. Five years is the maximum time I have ever taken to realize that something I did was a mistake. It has taken me a year now to admit it finally that indeed my first love was my first mistake.
‘I let go of the relationship because I wasn’t able to make music. I wasn’t able to do something I am passionate about though I gave in a lot of efforts.’ A friend said when I asked about his past relationship.
He later adds that how he has learned to make better decisions about relationships. He believes that if being in a relationship somehow mentally stops you from doing what you love then there is something wrong.
I couldn’t have agreed more. Today a lot of people know me as a person who writes and who loves to travel. I wasn’t able to do this when I was in a relationship. Two years back when I first went with my cousin on a trek was my first step out of the relationship. This year when I challenged myself to write poems over prose is when I completely got myself out of the mistake.
‘I learned how to express. I learned how to tell someone what I felt even if it meant to hurt them. I hurt him a lot, but I had to say what I felt, if I didn’t it would be worse.’ A friend expressed when asked about her learning from a relationship.
This is something I didn’t do. I never spoke what I felt in the relationship. I am as a person expressive mostly when I am happy. I can’t express anything when I am low. I ignored things that hurt me and blasted happiness on the ones that made me feel good. If you are reading this, please do not do this. Express everything you feel good or bad.
My first love was a mistake because I took the decision to be with someone too early. I was very young and I just let myself let go in it. I kept feeling something was wrong but only figured what was wrong too late.
A relationship can work only if you feel right about it. I always felt it was a mistake and it turned out to be one. But I am glad I have admitted it to myself that it was a mistake and figured out what exactly was wrong. I am glad that I have learned something and grown as a person. I only hope to not repeat the mistake and find someone right when it’s the right time.