One dare, done!

When we reached Bekare waterfall rappelling site, I saw the water and it called me towards it. I went and spent some time alone while the rappelling set up was being done. As always, I and the flowing water had a conversation.

Hours back on my bed at home I wasn’t even thinking to be here and promised mom to not come. The reason being my health. I had terrible weakness and couldn’t even sit for dinner.

But, I knew deep within me, there will be water around and I need not fear. I got up in the morning and left. The journey to the place was fine. The little climb to the waterfall which otherwise wouldn’t affect me drained me so much, I couldn’t stand.

As we reached, I sat near the water, conversed for a while and all my energy was somehow regained. I didn’t think much and just went to rappel down.

My stomach was aching out of hunger and what not. My back was telling me please lie down, don’t do this. But, there was water below my feet, I could trust it, I could trust the stones. I had people cheering for me too.

I did it. When I got down, I was trembling. All my energy had got down. I had nothing left in me, but the joy of going beyond my physical limits. The joy poured out of my eyes for a while. I couldn’t stop.

After I calmed down, a random boy who also rappelled down around the same time, approached me. He didn’t know me, but he looked at me and smiled.

“You have just experienced the epitome of happiness, which comes out of your eyes. There is nothing more beautiful than this.” He said

Little later, I and my cousin were sitting and recording footage of others in the group rappelling down. When one of the members who set the whole thing came,

‘Do you guys wish to do it again?’

‘Yes sure’ I and my cousin echoed

Why the hell did you say that? My mind kept abusing me for the next few minutes. It will take a toll on your health, don’t do it. Why is it necessary to become a hero? Did it once, now chill, will you? I ignored the crap my mind gave me and I went for it.

The start was good as it was a proper rappel patch which I am good at and I can do. I knew I was approaching the curve now and had to go right a bit, but the water flowing was so hard I slipped and went into the cave.

It felt quiet and calm, the sound of flowing water adding to the bliss. It was like a cold reassuring hug amidst the little panic of being stuck.

I stood there, cleaned my eye, figured the way and rappelled down. My feet were trembling, I kept slipping the easiest part towards the end, that’s what loss of confidence can do, but, I made it down. All the chaos around silenced for a minute. As I walked out of the water, I kept telling myself, yes you managed to do it twice.

I didn’t cry this time. It was more than happiness, it was a state of bliss. The moment I had in that little cave, where only I could stand the way I did.

On the way back, which drained me in the start, I jumped with joy. Quite literally, as I splashed all puddles and walked through a stream patch on the way.

What I did could have ended me in a big trouble. I could get severely sick. But, it was a leap of faith I took, trusting my physical abilities or more like challenging it. For the first time, the tagline of my blog came to life – “All that you wish to do is possible if you push yourself to do it”

Please do not try things that can cause you physical stress. But, maybe dare to do what your mind says you can’t. Do share your experience of doing so with me on Insta, @nisha_navgire!

September 10, 2018

How do I recover?

A while back I did something horrible. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror. I don’t know if you ever did something that bad and felt so about yourself, but if you ever do, I hope this post helps you.

I have low self-esteem and it got worse after I did this mistake. I struggle to accept the way I look, and how I am physically, but I have always told myself what is within matters more. And now, after this mistake, I had nothing to look up for within me.

I was struggling to do the mundane tasks of eating and bathing, leave aside studying or doing something productive. I wished to shout out and weep aloud. But, I live with my mom and I couldn’t.

The bathroom is my favourite place and thanks to the weather, walks in the rain also helped to somehow cry it out. After a day or two of weeping, I did nothing but slept. I got up, fed myself something and slept. That’s it, I did this on loop for almost a week.

I forced myself to do something productive, but I couldn’t. I realized I had to deal with this hurricane inside before it gets worse and affects people around me. I began with acceptance.

I wrote down every day that I did a horrible mistake, I wrote down why it was bad and what I learned from it. I wrote that it is only human to make mistakes and that clearly I am over-thinking and I should stop being too harsh on me.

This initiated the healing process. I began to learn an art I don’t usually do. I removed the sketchbook I was gifted months back. I watched videos online and began filling up the pages. I had always heard art can be therapeutic, but I experienced this for the first time.

My mind didn’t wish to be cooperative with the healing process. It was the second time I did this mistake and hence my mind refused to forgive me for doing it. It kept reminding me of the horrors of the last time I did it.

The mistake I did was mid-week, I didn’t have a travel plan following week. I knew I couldn’t plan one either. I had to sort this without nature’s help. This is when I realized I am part of nature and started to pamper myself.

I oiled my hair and took care of my feet too. Both, were in bad shape after back to back treks. I cleaned my cupboard, rearranged my desk and bookshelf. I read and also shopped for myself after ages.

The force out there really wished for me to be happy. I met dogs. Usually, these dogs visit our building only on the weekend as the dog owner doesn’t live in our building. But this time, they came mid-week.

I spent hours with the two dogs, a Lab and a German Shepard. Dogs spread joy no matter what they feel, hungry, thirsty or whatever. They never spread a low vibe, but they do sense one. The German Shepard never licked my face, but that day it did. The Lab always jumped all over me, that day it didn’t. It just lay on my thighs holding me as if saying it will be alright.

I decided to give myself another chance. I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever repeat this mistake but for now, I decided to let go. And the next thing that helped this process of recovery was music.

I heard songs that make me feel happy. I heard songs that I have never heard. I went crazy and had music always in the background no matter what I did. It felt nice, each song getting its own vibe, finally bringing back the smile.

It can be a mistake you did or anything that hinders the peace within. I hope this post provides a helping hand whenever you wish to heal. DM me on Instagram @nisha_navgire, always up for a chat on my blog!

September 3, 2018

Things I learned from my Pantars

Who am I? An Introvert? An Ambivert? After a lot of thought I figured I am just a difficult person, who has many insecurities and so finds it difficult to socialize and stay in touch with people. And yet, I haven’t been kicked out of this group for over four years now.

‘Pantar Log’ is what has stuck as our group name. I am fortunate to have come across each of these ‘pantars’. They have added immensely to my being. Here’s a glimpse.

I recall the first year college days when like everyone even I was trying to fit in, look cool. Using cuss words for no reason is one of the lamest way to look cool. Oh my, and I even tried to.

While the f word is the most common, I uttered bastard to someone quite smoothly. And then after a while, Shantanu pops up and asks me ‘do you even know what bastard means?’

I sunk in a pool of thought and wondered what I was doing to fit in. From then on each word I ever uttered got refined before being used. Even each word I write is looked back at to see its worth.

I owe it Shaan to have popped that question to me so early in my college life. It definitely made a huge difference in the way I behaved and behave today, the words I used in college and do today. Such a simple question but a big learning of making each thing uttered count.

What are you doing Christine?

Working on this art piece…

Reading for this write up…

Listening to this new thing…

That is Christine for me in a nutshell. Always a surprise, constantly on something. Even when she is chilling with us or other friends, she is the one who will begin some interesting conversation of something nobody in the group will have a clue of.

I get bored of one thing too soon. But I envy how this girl loves to know things well in depth. She is only human and has her lazy days but whenever she has worked on something, I have adored it.

My bond with Joanne has been very weird. I have bonded with others from the first year. But, with Jo I think we were two similar in few ways and hence repelled. We both have our set of insecurities and it was tough to break the ice between us.

But, in third year, we both took the same specialization and the pressure of last year in college helped to melt the ice. We looked out for each other with notes, on the Industrial Visit etc and in time I felt foolish to have not attempted to know her more all these years.

Nonetheless, Joanne has taught me that nothing is permanent. If you put enough efforts into people you can shape the bond you have with them. With time, I and Jo are now able to be there for each other when in need. Life just feels better to know I have a friend which perhaps I would have lost to my stupid insecurities.

If there is one person who I will award to have successfully for years being able to carry his heart on his sleeves, it has to be Iyyer. He wasn’t from our college and I haven’t met him enough times, but this boy has always managed to surprise me.

There is no dull moment with him around. Some people do not like people like him who say so much truth on the face, but I love it. If I can be even little expressive as he is about anything and everything he feels, I would feel better.

He doesn’t share what is deep within him, but his views on whatever is happening is always out there to know. I haven’t been lucky enough to see his emotional side but hopefully someday I’ll. Whatever little I know of him, I have things to learn and imbibe.

Amongst us eleven, we all have a few people we are closer to than the rest as we are all humans and we have our favourites. But this has never come in way whenever it comes to helping someone in our group for something.

I said the above because, I never got denied by any of these pantars for any help. I didn’t either, but Jenny is another level. I have being helped by her when she could have easily chosen not to. Why so kind Jenny? Will I ever be able to be that kind and selfless, ever?

My existence in this group can be traced back to when Vanessa added me to the group. I obviously owe it to her but there is much more than that.

I remember, I had a family emergency and I called her saying I can’t make it for the project work. She could have asked me questions, perhaps yelled but she just sensed my tone and said okay.

Next day I met her, told her whatever happened and thanked her for understanding. She is otherwise the clown who makes everyone else also go quirky and laugh but the loving soul within is pure gold.

Apart from Vanessa someone who is blessed to tolerate my audio notes of fuckall singing is Aashish. What would why I do if you hadn’t heard my audio notes. I suck at singing is a difficult truth which these both helped me accept. But moreover, Aashish helped me accept myself. It is okay to suck at something. It is okay to not know everything, and that we all have some or the other insecurities.

This boy says it bleeds his ears to listen to me sing and that it will affect his music career and what not. But, has still always opened each of my audio notes & recently wrote to me that he has it all treasured.

For a year I sent and still do to a few, audio notes on birthdays. I sing some song I relate to them as a birthday wish and explain why I chose a particular song. This wouldn’t have been possible without the random audio notes to Aashish.

Common thing that people say about friends is that they change. But, there is one bond I share that has not changed, just grown. It is with Lynston. He is the sarcastic fellow of the group, who can take your case and make you smile about it too.

But nothing has changed between us since the time we know each other. We have been there in need for each other no matter what. He is a person of less words and I too do not share too often nor too easily. We do not know each other’s deepest secrets but that doesn’t ever come in way when we wish to help each other.

The two people who I am crazily attached to among the pantars are Felicia and Omkar. I have learned to understand the importance of self-love and self care with these two. If I am ever low on confidence or otherwise, they are my go to source of some love and care. I would be complete retard full of doubts if I had never known these two. There is more I learned from them, have a read here.

From day one of knowing all Pantars to the bond I share with each of them today, many things have happened. Our college festivals, other college festivals, general festivity, learning under various kinds of teachers, IV madness and so much more.

We lived through it all and only grown as people and as a group. I am sure we will embrace the big change happening soon with love and grace. I am blessed to have them, and hopefully write another post on them a decade later. Cheers to that!

August 26, 2018

River Baby

In the recent past, I have opened up with all possible human emotions to the dear river.

I have whined about life, wept about it, I have laughed and danced around it, I have cried out of sheer joy and spoken about so many emotions I didn’t know existed within me.

I have walked through many mountains and forests. I have seen many various forms of nature. I wondered, why, why is it that I connect to the river then?

The Flow

Rivers have a constant flow. This is the prime attraction and learning from a river. To keep going, no matter what.

I am bad with letting go of things, people, and emotions. I take everything too seriously and when it is time to let go of something, I just can’t. Sometimes, I pile up so much of crap in me which shouldn’t have bothered me at the first place that it makes me very uncomfortable.

The moment I am alone near a river, I think of all the things I should let go of. A bad relation, a stupid fight, an awful day, a big mistake, anything that is making me cringe within. I spend the last moments with this thoughts and emotions and finally let go of them.

The Rocks

Have you noticed the rocks around a river? Have you seen how the water cuts through these rocks? Have you seen the water flow between these rocks especially near a waterfall?

Every time I notice this, I have a strong motivation to do something. The power that the water has to be able to shape rocks around makes me believe that even I can do something, write something thought provoking enough to mold some minds for the better. I feel powerful.

There is a stark difference in the rocks that lay under the water for long and the rocks that never. The rocks underwater are always soft, often known as pebbles. Rocks otherwise are sharp and can even give a good wound.

The pebbles and sharp rocks according to my understanding are people who either wish to know perspectives or stay rigid with their own. The pebble kind of people are ready to dive deep and stay there to know you, know your perspective. The sharp rock kind of people are just the opposite. But the catch here is to be like the river and flow through all these people without letting any affect your pace of flow.

123 — One of the poems, I wrote on my bond with the river

The Life

Water is life is a known fact. We all take so much from the rivers, do we ever consider what its life is like?

A river begins on some mountain-top, flows through a forest perhaps and reaches some other water body in the plains. It tries to flow through everything that it faces to reach a destination it isn’t even aware of. It knows only one thing that it can’t stay where it is.

As it is set on this journey without a destination in mind, it feeds a few creatures and humans on the way, it dances and has fun with the big rocks. It lives free and with its happy sound spreads joy all over.

Unfortunately, the joyous journey becomes a horror one when we do our best to kill this joy. The plastic trash around rivers, cutting down of trees and much more. We know about it, we are all guilty in one way or other.

What if rivers cease to exist? What if there is no single river left who has a happy journey? This thought makes me cringe. Every time I see a dead river with trash all over, I mourn. I will hopefully work on this cause. I believe that the life-giving river that teaches me much more should last forever.

This post is a glimpse of why I am a River Baby and a few ways in which I connect to rivers. There is much more I’ll learn from a river. What are your thoughts? DM me for a conversation on Insta @nisha_navgire

August 20, 2018

Why I suck!

I was thinking about ways to put forth how I am managing various emotional and practical situations in my life when I realized I suck at doing so. And here is a glimpse of it.

Unrealistic Expectations

I had an adventurous trek last Sunday to Songiri fort with my cousin Sanish. We were lost twice and it was a miracle that we actually made it to the top of the fort. After coming down we had fun near a waterfall and head back home with a smile.

I wrote and posted my last week’s blog and head out for some work. And people were going crazy. It was a day to celebrate friendship. I saw a friend bring for his ‘best friend’ chicken biryani and my heart sunk.

I came back home and felt so low for not having a friend in my life that would bring me chicken biryani. Only to realize, one, though I love biryani, I am not a foodie plus a lot moody about food and all my friends know this. Two, I don’t communicate with many people to have many friends in life.

Three, if I hadn’t stepped out, I wouldn’t have felt so. And also the fact that I replied to all the happy friendship’s day messages with my blog link.

It is silly to be a not-so-people-person at heart and yet expect to be loved liked one. I mean, my mind just fucked up a beautiful trek day for me with a silly unrealistic expectation.

Being a Super Human

I have an assignment submission end of September and last month I began working on it. It was very difficult to get back to studying after eight months of working. Body got used to not using head and following the lead of a person without a head.

It was tough to break that and start using some brain for learning concepts, ideas, examples and writing them down for the assignment. This is why I planned to study one answer a day, and only one subject a week.

It has been three weeks and I got good at it. It is funny how I started loving what I was studying and my new study routine for three weeks while I hated my job even after eight months of working.

But, now that I was being human, my mind said, why not try to be a superhuman? I added more study time in my routine. I kept adding all small to big task my mom expects of me. If that wasn’t enough, I added some more personal fitness, reading, and writing goals.

Obviously, my mind and body both couldn’t handle it after two days of following the new routine. I drained myself so much that I couldn’t move from my bed for a week.

Trying to fit in

I got close to someone my age recently. We connected on various levels and had a blast. But, this bond made me realize how disconnected I am from people my age.

I am a morning person and my entire class in college was the opposite. I didn’t find a single colleague who loved mornings. I was proud of this fact.

However, when I was talking to this person, throughout the day there wasn’t much sharing but at night there was a strong connection. I began to shift my routine. My close friends were shocked to see me online after ten thirty but it was going to get worse.

Morning time has for years been my ‘me time’. I have tea with mom, followed by some reading and writing. Now it had turned to no morning tea with mom, late night conversations, late morning breakfast with delayed lunch and study routine.

Finally, my mom pointed it out to me and I snapped. I told her to let me live my age, this is how youngsters live and I haven’t for years, and it is high time I do.

Comparisons

The best way to feel that you suck is to compare. What a feeling it is to see yourself as an ant in front of the mighty Taj of someone’s life. It sucks so much that you began to question your existence.

Three years back, I built up courage, began this blog after I gave up on all the comparisons. But little did I know I would go crashing back at it.

Daily there are updates about a beautiful trip, an amazing boyfriend, a fun family, a huge house, crazy fun colleagues and what not. It sucks to see even your college juniors prosper and work so much more than you ever did.

I have unrealistic expectations, I try to be superhuman, I always wish to fit in and to top it all I can’t stop all the comparisons. I am very harsh on me and I know it, this is why I suck. But hey, I am trying to deal with it. In these ways or others, I know you suck too and I hope we all sail through.

This post is obviously to point out that I suck, but more about helping you not to. If you relate to this post, let’s chat, @nisha_navgire on Insta!

August 11, 2018

A True Friend

“You talk the most, to yourself the entire day, so make sure, you talk well”

I don’t remember the exact quote or the name of the writer but it meant what I managed to write above. And this line is important because you can lie to your best friend but not to yourself. In this busy world, try to find a true friend in no one else but within you.

How to find a true friend within you? Simple, as you have found all your friends in life. Don’t know how to do that? Read on to find out.

“You watched Zakir Khan stand up?

Yes, of course.

And it leads to an hour talk on his jokes, which one is funniest, comedy overall etc. Instantly, a relatable conversation sparks up the start point of a friendship. Spark up a question to yourself, why do you enjoy Zakir Khan’s comedy? Answer that and you’ll have a little window open within you.

Another reason why people bond is they receive and reciprocate care and concern. Two people who try to be there for each other through thick and thin are said to be the best pals. You know who the one-two or if you are lucky five-six people are, who will be by your side, no matter how much you screw up.

But hey, when was the last time you took a day off for you? Did nothing but spent time reading, went for a spa, took to the art gallery or anything that relaxes you. Your body is all you got and showering some love for no reason is something you should try.

Over the years, the way we make friends, the way we bond has sure changed. I remember mom recalling in her college days she went for one movie only, they would all bond only during their study time and community functions.

Today, it is all over the place. You can talk on the phone, you can chat, you can go to movies, go to the mall, go to the stadium for a match, or to a club or a coffee house. The options are plenty.

The idea of how and where you bond transformed, but not the reason. Man is a social animal and will always like to be around people to talk, have fun and connect. It is a part of being a human.

The best way to stay connected to what you are is by meeting your old friend. Take your phone and call the oldest friend on the list and maybe if lucky, try to have a meet. It will be like looking into a mirror and watching your own transformation as a person.

‘I don’t know how to stay in touch with people’ I said

‘What do you mean?’ a colleague intrigued.

‘I don’t do math usually but I am in touch with two people from school, two people from junior college, and at the moment close to only two people from senior college’

‘Oh, that a weird math. But, if you wish to stay in touch with people, just text or call them randomly’

I can’t do that. Only if I could, I would be in touch with more people today. I tried to explain so to my colleague this a year ago, but she didn’t get it. I can’t chat on my phone with more than three-four people at a time. I can’t call someone every other day and talk randomly. This is how I am and I have been for years.

Have you faced something similar? If not, you are way too cool than I am. But, if you are as weird with this whole maintaining friends thing, high-five! Hopefully, we sail through this.

This is also the problem that we face while finding the true friend within us. I mean who can maintain taking a day off every month? Loner is what you will be called. You might even be called a retard.

I have faced it and I know it. But it is important to maintain that connection with you. It can get challenging and if not a best friend, try to find at least a friend. Try to know yourself. Try to understand why you did what you did. Accept your flaws, appreciate your efforts, improve and excel your abilities.

I am sure you will wish many people a happy friendship day, but, I hope you think about finding a true friend within you. It might sound creepy or it might sound wonderful, but I hope you give it a try.

August 4, 2018

5 Travel Essentials

There can be many essentials to carry when traveling but the following are a pure no-no. If you ever went on a trip and didn’t enjoy, you probably need to take notes. There are my five travel essentials I tick mark surely before I leave.

1 No Guilt

There can be a whole big list of trips I have had with the guilt of missing something important. A friend’s birthday, family occasion, some interview and what not. Throughout these many guilt trips, I have had the evident company of sorrow with a toss of weird emotional state.

Back when I began trekking and having big vacations, I was in college and would only have weekends to spend time doing something else. And so there would be some family gatherings or a night out at a friend’s place or something planned for the weekend.

It was still manageable back then as I would meet these important people during the week and make up for not being there for the weekend and traveling instead. But now that all work, missing a weekend gathering gives a bigger guilt.

After ruining a few trips, I added this to my checklist before I leave. I spoke with two of closest friends and told them why traveling is important for me. They have a better backstory of my life and they got it. It gets difficult, but now they always know when I am heading out and all our night outs and meets are planned way ahead.

2 No Emotional Baggage

How are guilt and emotional baggage different? Well, here I mean, if there is something is bothering you real bad, it is sucking the life out of you, it can be anything, big or small, don’t let it be in the way of you having fun on a trip, instead use the trip as a way to let go of it and feel lighter.

I have a habit of overthinking and it sucks. I still remember years back, I had a small argument with a very close friend before I left for a trip and I didn’t enjoy the day at all. It was so bad I couldn’t stop whining about the fight to a few I was traveling with.

I realized instead of being there and enjoying with people I was with, I spread gloomy vibes. Only if I could go back and change that day, and be a better person, I would. But hey, that day gave me this pointer. If you are an emotional fool like me, make sure you don’t miss ticking this off.

3 No Responsibility

This is one a little more subjective than the ones above. I am a responsible head otherwise. I have taken charge of things, people and situations and have done well. But, when I travel, I love to be with myself.

It is purely my time, where I get all my thoughts out and just be me. Be amidst nature and feel the love around without a single thought about the real world back home.

Last week I had been to Gorakhgadh and I trekked it with an eleven-year-old girl. It was her first ever trek. I saw the entire fort through her eyes, her observations, her happiness, her care and concern for others, her idea of fun and laughter. It was beautiful.

But, the entire climb up and down with her, I was worried. For this trip, she was my kiddo, she was my responsibility. It was different and difficult. I am not good with kids in general who are big enough to speak. I get very awkward, shy, or I don’t know why very conscious. But this kiddo was different.

Among the many things I learned from her, I surely figured that I can’t travel with someone’s responsibility. It was a fun trip with her but it isn’t something I can do often. I can do such a trip once in a while but not too often.

4 No Health Issue

This is the most important one and you should definitely add this to your checklist. I have traveled with a cough cold and fever and managed. But, always listen to your body, it does tell you if you can or cannot do something.

Do not mix this with the feeling of fear. Feeling sick out of fear is normal, but if there is something severe, just don’t go. Oh, yes, I have traveled sick and that trip is one of the worst I ever had.

I just had to travel and so I head out. But that day I realized when you are sick you slow down the entire group. You aren’t able to enjoy much and you kind of spoil it for others too.

I don’t even let someone carry my bag even if it is extremely heavy and the climb extremely difficult. If I am not able to carry one bag, how would someone carry two? Don’t let your health issue or any sort of physical trouble spoil someone’s fun. Stay back home and if you head out, give it all you got.

5 No Virtual Presence

I have made it a habit for my mom now that on one-day trips I call her only once when I began my journey back home and on two-day trips, I call her twice. On bigger trips, I call her once in two days. This is because of a simple rule I follow that is to use my phone only to click pictures, take videos and call mom once.

My phone is full time on airplane mode to save battery too as I still own an old Moto phone. If you have read my previous travel posts and loved how I connect to nature and people around, add this to your checklist and make sure to do it. This will help you be more present in the place you are more than just physically.

There is not a single trip I had where I haven’t followed this rule since my first ever trek. And the results have been beautiful. If not always, try this on your next travel, do let me know how it works for you.

These are five travel essentials I check before I head out. It may or may not work for you as they are purely subjective to my travel experiences but hey, if you try any of these, or do follow any, I would love to know your story.

July 28, 2018

Embracing Uncertainty

I was down there, on my bathroom floor, sobbing. I have done so before for legit reasons but this was the first time I didn’t know the reason. It was just a burst out of an amalgamation of many emotions at once.

Usually, I don’t share feelings. I write out to myself, cry and get done with. This is how I have grown. This is how I have lived. But each time I have dealt with something this way in the past, I was certain of what I am feeling, and what it was that I was dealing with.

But a few days back, I was sobbing in the bathroom without a clue. Only to realize after hours of being there, it was just ‘adulting’!

Last April I got done with my graduation and from then life has been nothing but chaos. I had a fun vacation to Manali and Ladakh in May. The following June I trekked every weekend to the Sahydaris. After which my mom retired from her first job after working there for 37 years and I managed to land upon my first job ever.

I didn’t think much at all. I just went with the flow. The May trips were pre-planned nothing after that. I took up a job because I had zero clarity about if I wished to do masters and if yes in what field. Luckily, with the soul-sucking job I managed to deal for eight months made me realize that yes, I should surely do further studying and am not so ready to be strangled in the work cycle yet.

It is easy to write down the above paragraph today, but living the last year of my life wasn’t so. I am the kind of person who loves to plan and wishes to follow them. If you know Monica from FRIENDS and how she loves rules and discipline, I relate to that side of her. And now imagine going through such chaos about masters, about doing a job etc.

The May trips made me write to me that I shall try to visit the Himalayas once a year at least. The treks after that helped me understand that I can’t stay away from the Sahyadris. Mom’s retirement made me grow closer to her. My first job molded me in many ways.

I faced my first failure at my first job. I dealt with a horrible workspace and a relatively dizzy boss. But this job and people I met helped me getting regular with my craft as I began blogging weekly.

So the chaos that I went through, lead to something good. Now I am dealing with a different set of uncertainty altogether. Earlier the uncertainty was whether masters or working. Now it is more like, what if after doing this master I figure this is not what I want, what if this is a wrong decision? What if I waste years of my life?

Unknowingly, in the past year, I embraced the uncertainty and started blogging weekly, realized my love for writing and traveling. And this is my hope to embrace all these thoughts in my head right now, the reason I sobbed, the uncertainty about the master, the fear of failure again.

I am embracing all these thoughts, all this uncertainty, in hope that it will turn out to be good, it will all sort out and fit in.

I don’t know in what phase of life you are right now, and what is it that you are dealing with. I just penned down a bit of what I faced and am facing and how I am dealing with it. If nothing I hope you take from this that there is no escape from the chaos and embracing the uncertainty without giving up is the only way forward.

July 20, 2018

Why I travel

‘So what are up to these days?’ An aunty visiting home enquired.

‘Some studying and some traveling’

‘Oh, good you are studying, but why do you travel?’

This is the first time ever an aunty visiting home made me think. I believe in ‘ignorance is bliss’ when such people come home, but this time it was different. I jabbered some ‘I like to travel because…’ answer to her but wasn’t satisfied. I began to find the reason why I travel.

As a kid, I didn’t like the environment in the house. I would always try to escape being home, be it going out to play, going for a picnic etc. It made me happy to be out of the home. We didn’t go on trips every summer, but I cherish the few times we did.

I loved these few picnics we had because it helped me escape from the usual vibe. This is the root cause of me loving to be outdoors though now I have found better reasons. I would go crazy and have fun on this trips because I knew I couldn’t do so back home.

In secondary school, it was the thing to brag about trips and travels one has had. It wasn’t the generation of phones and selfies but I remember friends getting photo albums to school and bragging about the beautiful trips to Matheran, Mahabaleshwar etc. Sometimes these albums would include photos of the places but more often it was the family members trying hard to pose on or with a horse, outside some temple or monument etc.

IMG_20180715_173338130 — This picture was taken exactly a decade ago when posing as such and getting the photo this kind of frame was cool.

I no more am an escapist and the vibe at home over the years got better. Now I just like to escape my daily routine and be in nature. But the instinct to still be crazy and have fun when I am out is predominantly there!

I am the quiet one otherwise, but when outdoors, I am the one initiating conversations, singing, dancing and trying to have fun and making sure others do too. It is another level of happiness to make people comfortable on trips and having fun with them.

I am not the kind who likes to flaunt my travel. As a kid, I didn’t have anything to and now when I do travel, I don’t wish to. It is more about sharing what I learned than flaunting the pretty photos. Social media has made it easy to flaunt your life but I try my best to be kind who shares knowledge.

It has been two years since my first big trip and more than two years since I began regular trekking. Now, I have come to space where I connect to nature, where every travel is more about being able to spend time in nature, being able to connect with the environment.

Be it a forest walk, a mountain climb, hugging a tree, hugging a stone, opening up to rivers, I have done it all. I connect to every aspect of nature differently and learn from each in a different way. My subconscious has questions that nature breaks down and gives answers to in its own unique way.

A poem about what I learned from the clouds. Check my Insta @nisha_navgire for more.

The people I travel with and the people I meet, both add so much more learning to my being. This is another reason I always look forward to every trip because there hasn’t been a single trip with the exact same people as the previous one. There is always someone new adding a new flavor.

I travel because I wish to do something different from my routine. I travel because I connect to different elements of nature and learn from each. I travel because learning about a new place and sharing the stories about the same gives me joy. I travel because I learn from people I travel with and people I meet and all of this together adds to my being. The next time this aunty visits, I will have the answer to why I travel.

July 15, 2018

Siddhagadh Photo Story

After summers, the first monsoon trek is the most awaited thing. It wasn’t even a week I was back from Spiti and I was going back to the mountains, I was excited. To my delight, we were going to have a bike ride to the base village of Siddhagadh. I couldn’t be happier, as I believe monsoon and bike rides are just made for each other!

PhotoGrid_1531197474659 — An epiphyte is when a plant grows on another tree or plant. We noticed this tree with two different kinds of leaves on our way and it could be an epiphyte.

One can go Siddhagadh via Narivalli village and from there it is the highest fort climb in Maharashtra. But we took another way through Jamburdhe village which cuts around an hour’s climb.

We parked our vehicles and just before we began to walk, we noticed this old well. Such sources of water on and around the forts in Maharashtra is common. My eyes were pleased to see some purple flowers adding to the green colour scheme around. For the first time, I saw houses with a block that had the year written on it. My friends said it is the year these houses were made but I am not sure of this.

As we were walking we found this two things. The one on the left is microbial in origin. It could be slimy fungal species or a slime layer produced by some bacterial species. The one on the right is a common mushroom one can find on monsoon treks in the Shyadris.

We reached the caves. We took pictures and left. Later, we noticed the Ganpati on the bottom right corner of this image.

There are a few difficult rock patches and if you are new to Sahyadris, kindly be more careful. I and a new friend who also searched the slimy bacteria for me were having fun as we climbed together.

There is a ‘nandi’ and ‘shivling’ at the top of the fort. But they weren’t placed together as they should be as seen in temples. We were waiting for a few and it began to rain heavily with strong breeze too. I was so happy, I sang and danced until all arrived.

After exploring the fort, we took a different way down and came across a beautiful old door. We walked past it and reached a temple. It had ‘shivlings’ and ‘nandis’ found around the place kept together. There was also a broken ‘tof’ kept ourside the temple.

There were also this stone structures called ‘virghals’ kept around the temple. These structures are found around many forts in Maharashtra. They depict the history of the maker of the fort.

Saw this colourful leaves just before we reached back to our vehicles.

The walk down got more slippery but it was worth it. We had some hot tea before we began our ride back home. I can surely count this trek as one of my favourite monsoon trek experiences.

July 10, 2018